Beta Male Mike wrote:

Okay, as a newbie (with a sore butt from initiaition, and still wondering where the diva's are?) I notice many oldies are refering to Chris as AG. What I want to know is, what the heck does AG stand for, and what's the story behind it?

Hi BMM. Umm, your initials are sort of strange. They sort of remind me of my morning coffee. Go figure!

Anyway, to use a term that Deb uses. C'mere you! I probably got that wrong but...I am not Deb. Hang around. This board has a bunch of great people. I do not post much but I do read them. Good luck in the quagmire of the AG's board. It is special.
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It's "c'mere kitten" but I've retired it now that jay's no longer around. It just doesn't feel right
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Deb,

Please forgive her. I'm the one who says "c'mere you!" Although I am puzzled about why she would confuse me with you. Hmm, I am going to have to talk to her about that one...

Anyway, back on topic, sorta. I am halfway through ADJ, and am thoroughly enjoying it. And having just visited The City and many of the places that Chris describes really adds to the charm. I hope to finish it by the end of this weekend, but may not, because I am tied up with the Project From Hell, and do not havve a lot of time to read these days. Unless you call plowing through Powerpoint slides "reading."

Andy

Last edited by Forester on Thu Jul 06, 2006 9:32 pm; edited 1 time in total

It's easy to do. I look just like your avatar. Except the feathers. And maybe the full cranial paint. And the whole being a woman thing.


c'mere......nah, can't do it.
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FattyFattyPorkFace wrote:

Author Guy. He's the Author Guy. The story is he's a guy and he's an author. He's the Author...Guy...see? Cool.

I love the way you 'splain things.
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Thanks Fatty, once again. Sorry about the "oldies" label gracie. Thanks for the welcoming JulieB, I mentioned the initiation part based on the my introductory post at Who's Who.

chris wrote:

Know something? Posts like this drive me off the board. Why? I have to get up every day and do it again. I don't have to read reviews on Amazon, or in the paper, but this is my board, and because I've deigned to particpate with my readers, I read these posts. Then I have to go to work.

I wouldn't take a post-and-run too seriously.

Quote:

So, all well and good that you guys didn't like Dirty Job or Fluke, but realize, that when you bring it here, you accomplish one of two things -- you undermine my writing, or you undermine my participation on the board.

Nah; I for one did not dislike Fluke nor Job. They were very different from what I expected, but they were entertaining and full of soft, squishy lovable bits

Quote:

Here's a look inside. My new book is due in three weeks.

Yay

Quote:

I'm out for the next month. I can't afford the hits under this schedule.

Seems to me most successful authors have to deal with this phenomenon. Waaah, don't kill Harry, Sherlock, Odysseusseses's puppy, why didn't Arthur and Trillian marry and have kids, we want more Rincewind/Night Watch/Witches books, etc...
Just a sign that popularity has spread beyond the hard core.

And of course since _you_ are the Author guy, _you_ can write whatever pleases you and _you_ get to make your living that way. Who's got the last laugh now? Well, I do, because I nefariously read some of the books twice or more and even loaned out a few copies, but that's besides the point.

Thanks for many hours of entertainment*, and fuck the fucking fucktards. 'Kay?

* which is what I meant to post when I signed up here, but I got distracted by something shiny.

DON'T LOOK - MAJOR SUCK-UPPAGE IN POST - I warned you

chris wrote:

Know something? Posts like this drive me off the board. ...It's not particularly easy to come up with funny, entertaining stories.

AG, for what's it's worth, Fluke was the novel that sucked me into your twisted world, and the rest of them are like kids...I don't necessarily have a favorite, I love them all in different ways.

I was very happy and surprised to see that you opened yourself up to having (much less participating in) a fan bulletin board. Reading the posts and advice, and random silly stuff, I've finally had the courage to post a couple things I wrote. So far, no hate mail.

So thanks AG, for the books, the bulletin board, and the feedback. Oh, and anyone who doesn't like the books and feels the need to give you crap in this forum can go fuck themselves with a curling iron. A hot one.

Peace,

LIW

chris wrote:

Know something? Posts like this drive me off the board. Why? I have to get up every day and do it again. I don't have to read reviews on Amazon, or in the paper, but this is my board, and because I've deigned to particpate with my readers, I read these posts. Then I have to go to work. It's not particularly easy to come up with funny, entertaining stories. It requires more confidence, often, than I can muster. So when I sign on to my site and read people slamming my last two years work, well, it sort of undermines the process. So, all well and good that you guys didn't like Dirty Job or Fluke, but realize, that when you bring it here, you accomplish one of two things -- you undermine my writing, or you undermine my participation on the board. And realistically, would you have me recall the 150,000 American copies of Dirty Job in print and rewrite the ending? Ever heard of that happening? Would you have me contact the translators in a dozen countries and tell them that some mook from East Lansing didn't like the ending so I need to restart the process. Here's a look inside. My new book is due in three weeks. The cover is done, the PR is done, the catalog copy is done. I got a note last Thursday from my editor saying this: "You'll have the manuscript to me on August 1st, I'll have it back to you on August 3rd, then you need to have all the rewrites in New York by August 8th." I'm currently maybe 2/3rds of the way through the book. I have no idea whatsoever how it ends. I will come up with something. And in the midst of this process, I'll be able to look back here and find the confidence I need to just fucking wing it -- because if it's not perfect, well... I'll have five full days to fix it, along with any spelling, grammatical, or logisitics issues that my arise in the edit. I'm out for the next month. I can't afford the hits under this schedule.

Yikes! I hope that wasn't directed at me
I gave a very short, simple, and overall positive statement of what I thought of the book. If you're really offended, I'm sorry.
I read Lamb, and thought it was really good. So I went back to B&N and picked up A Dirty Job. Since then I've picked up Practical Demonkeeping.
I guess I shouldn't have offered an opinion. Sorry.

Black Crowe wrote:

chris wrote: Know something? Posts like this drive me off the board. Why? I have to get up every day and do it again. I don't have to read reviews on Amazon, or in the paper, but this is my board, and because I've deigned to particpate with my readers, I read these posts. Then I have to go to work. It's not particularly easy to come up with funny, entertaining stories. It requires more confidence, often, than I can muster. So when I sign on to my site and read people slamming my last two years work, well, it sort of undermines the process. So, all well and good that you guys didn't like Dirty Job or Fluke, but realize, that when you bring it here, you accomplish one of two things -- you undermine my writing, or you undermine my participation on the board. And realistically, would you have me recall the 150,000 American copies of Dirty Job in print and rewrite the ending? Ever heard of that happening? Would you have me contact the translators in a dozen countries and tell them that some mook from East Lansing didn't like the ending so I need to restart the process. Here's a look inside. My new book is due in three weeks. The cover is done, the PR is done, the catalog copy is done. I got a note last Thursday from my editor saying this: "You'll have the manuscript to me on August 1st, I'll have it back to you on August 3rd, then you need to have all the rewrites in New York by August 8th." I'm currently maybe 2/3rds of the way through the book. I have no idea whatsoever how it ends. I will come up with something. And in the midst of this process, I'll be able to look back here and find the confidence I need to just fucking wing it -- because if it's not perfect, well... I'll have five full days to fix it, along with any spelling, grammatical, or logisitics issues that my arise in the edit. I'm out for the next month. I can't afford the hits under this schedule. Yikes! I hope that wasn't directed at me I gave a very short, simple, and overall positive statement of what I thought of the book. If you're really offended, I'm sorry. I read Lamb, and thought it was really good. So I went back to B&N and picked up A Dirty Job. Since then I've picked up Practical Demonkeeping. I guess I shouldn't have offered an opinion. Sorry.

No, it was the windmillwacker, the fucking worm who demanded I rewrte the last 80 pages of Dirty Job.

chris wrote:

No, it was the windmillwacker, the fucking worm who demanded I rewrte the last 80 pages of Dirty Job.

I do not grasp your boggle, AG, do you not find it helpful or constructive to have someone suggest that a creation of your very existence, something that you have poured heart and soul int, that you knew full well would be read by others, that you most likely suffered anxiety over due to the intimate nature of sharing your creativity, is not to their satisfaction and expectations? I mean, surely it is fair that others place their expectations on you? All you did was spend months creating it from the ether, they actually sat down and read it based upon pre-conceived notions and when they were found to be wanting, blamed you.

I think you should rewrite those 80 pages just for windmillwhacker. Might I suggest something like...

And then, windmillwhacker entered the room. The hellhounds raped them immediately, tearing them a new asshole or four. Miraculously, they survived this anal torture only to be skewered on the bulbous appendage of the bull-headed death who continued the torture. It was at this point that all windmillwhacker's friends and family appeared to laugh and point.

Then just write "Fuck you, asshat" for about 79.7 pages more.

Just a thought...


Disclaimer: Anything in this post that could be construed as offensive was written by someone else or was meant to be sarcastic.
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FattyFattyPorkFace wrote:

Disclaimer: Anything in this post that could be construed as offensive was written by someone else or was meant to be sarcastic.

ksnort!!
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wow, I just read this, and I'm just really glad that I didn't walk into Susan's party and start pissing all over everything... because that might have been awkward...

yeah, I bet that would have sucked...

and just a wee FYI... I have purchsed my 5th and 6th copy of ADJ... why, because The Wife and I are complete fucking idiots and instead of saying to our friends, hey this is a great fucking book go out and buy it... we either loan them a copy which they love so much that they spit scrambled eggs on it because they were too fucking stoopid to heed our warning about not eating or drinking while readin CM's works... or we forget to lock our book case when we have company, and some shit head rifles through our stuff and since CM's stuff is promintly displayed, its what people go for first, and they end up spitting wine or soda or brie all over the book that they are perrusing -- why the fuck they felt the need to open the only closed door in the house, go in, fish around for a light, walk around to the other side of the desk, and start opening up cabinets I will never know...

so anyway... I bought copy 5 for us, and copy 6 so that we can safely loan out the book and if bad things happen to it, well, so what... they can buy us a copy and we can consign that copy to the hell that awaits all books loaned out by us...

yeah, I'm still glad I didn't piss all over everything...
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What's the big deal if you don't like the ending of a book? Seriously. The way I see it is that if reading a book brings you enjoyment throughout every page, until the last twenty or so pages, then you still enjoyed the book. This isn't me ass kissing because I'm on the forum of the guy who wrote the book, rather it's something people should udnerstand. Nothing is going to be fucking perfect, ya know? It's like a previous poster said, twisted endings were becomming boring and predictable. I completely agree. I used to love that shit, watching a movie, and then the ending being something completely out of the blue. Now, years after the Sixth Sense, that shit got old to me. I used to prefer movies that would have twisted endings, and now I despise them. The reason I'm telling you my life story here is because it proves the point that you're never going to please everybody. Enjoy the book for the book, not the ending that it is going to produce. That's how I see it anyway.

Kiss-ass newbie!

(just kidding)

Welcome to the board. Go to the Who's Who thread and introduce yourself, then sit back and wait for the welcome wagon. Now turn your head and cough.

B