Horrendis Typosis

It's a new game! Yay!

Ok, here are the rules.

1. Take a disease, ailment or other medical condition (I will use Tourette's as an example because Fortune Cookie already went there and has provided the inspiration).
2. Misspell it in an amusing way (FC spelled it Turrets).
3. Make up a definition.

So... (and I'm sure you guys can do better...)

Turrets
Horrible disfigurement recognisable by a large gun or cannon protruding from the forehead that fires randomly with varying degrees of intensity.
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Twitter: jefftunes

(Amnesia)

Amkneesha: A rare condition where you forget you have knees
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"The First Annual Boobathon Queen. "

http://www.upnorthgeorgia.org

Teennitus - I can't hear because of this endless annoying noise my teenagers are making....(smacking ear with palm)
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spread the love,

Clamidia - shellfish induced venereal disease.
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"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
delusional minority and by the mainstream media which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

Fun with illness

Skitsophrenia- a mental disorder characterized by the need to participate in imaginary theatrical productions.
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"Jesus... is NOT a zombie... I shouldn't have to tell you that."

- "Bones"

Melon-oma - A disease caused by UV rays that creates huge green growths on the skin.
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"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
delusional minority and by the mainstream media which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

divertickleitis - akin to narcosis of the deep, but much less pleasant, it is likely to strike at any depth and never subside - the delusion that one is being perpetually tickled all over by an octopus
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To Learn is to Know
To Know is to Love
To Love is our aim

~~~~~~~

Why should we bother with immortality when we are eternal?

Tuberkloo-ohsis, A malady of blindness, caused by catching your sister
involved with an enlongated vegetable.
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We all enter this world in the same way: naked; screaming; soaked in blood.
But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there." Dana Gould

Herpeas - A female specific STD caused by close contact with mushy green vegetables.
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"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
delusional minority and by the mainstream media which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

Sore-eye-asis: a purpling of the skin around the eye, due to involuntary forceful contact with sliding glass doors.
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God was my co-pilot, but the plane crashed and I had to eat him.

With thanks to the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational :

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease

(yeah, I know, I cheated, but it's a gem )

Sixty-five-osis (Cystic Fibrosis) - A degeneration of the mind and body; the effects of which begin to manifest at the age of sixty-five.
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Avoid being normal -- John Lennon

J' wan' dis (Jaundice) A mental disorder which causes the affected person to try to give everything away.
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Avoid being normal -- John Lennon

S'curvy - A neurological disorder which effects a large percentage of heterosexual men, a much smaller percentage of bisexuals and lesbians and almost non-existent in homosexual men.

Etymology: A strong impulse from the optic nerve shuts down all non-essential brain function and diverts most of the body's blood flow from the brain to the lower torso.
Symptoms: The loss of all propensity for rational thought.
Severity: There appears to be a directly proportional correlation between the severity of the symptoms and the levels of testosterone in the body.
Known Causes: The visual perception of an attractive, or "voluptuous" female.
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Avoid being normal -- John Lennon