Your questions for Ask Mr Yogi Fix-it Guy

Questions? Comments?

Molto grazie for that early moring giggle...

Think I'll sacrifice Baby Ruth, 2 Snickers & 3 Musketeers before I go to bed-
then try a variation of the whooping crane with ax handle some time around mid-humpday...

Don't know if it will solve my problems, but it'll be fun trying!

Re: Your questions for Ask Mr Yogi Fix-it Guy

chris wrote:

Questions? Comments?

Dear Yogi Fix-it Guy:

When I have my wife assume the position of down-facing dog, and I assume the position of whopping crane holding an axe handle behind her, the axe handle seems to take on a mind of its own entering areas that are forbidden. Although the "whooping" is most incredible for me, my wife becomes very annoyed and threatens to cut off my injector chakra. Is there anything I can do to convince her that the ways of the gods are mysterious, and that we must all make sacrifices in their names?

With uttermost respect,
Rajeed in Rawalpindi

Dear Mr. Yogi Fix-it Guy:

Recently I was browsing the web researching ways to cleanse my orange chakra. I stopped in at hothinduhookups.com and now it has somehow become my homepage. Everytime I try to exit out of the site I get multiple pop-ups (if you know what I mean) and it always sends me back to their homepage. Now I can't any work done, my aura is fucked and I think I'm getting tennis elbow. How can I change my homepage to something else and get these damn pop-ups off my computer?


p.s.: How does a person post a picture to craigslist? Each time I try it, all I get is a little box with a red x inside.

Best,
Hodgie Jo Jamiraqui
_________________
- Anyway, so there I was spittin on my goldfish tryin to keep it alive....

-"Some people are like slinkies--they are good for nothing, but can still bring a smile to your face by throwing them down a flight of stairs."

Dear Mr. Yogi Fix-It Guy,

I keep getting calls from a gal from your neck of the woods wanting to sell me some needless warranty or feature for my computer. What I want to know is, how do I say "Look, bitch; I don't need any of this shit, and your fucking phone calls annoy the shit outta me. And besides, regardless of what you say, your name sure as fuck ain't 'Brittney'." in Nepalese? Or how to write that in Sanskrit.

Thanks.

Jo-jo Ma-ma
_________________
"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
delusional minority and by the mainstream media which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

comments

I just want to say that it is nice to see a return of respect for Pookasha Deva. While his importance to Vedic culture is clearly demonstrated by his presence in the Rig Veda, by the adoption of the Muktika Canon he was largely forgotten. Let us all chant the mantra of Pookasha Deva in humble gratitude; Om Poopoo Kaka Pu.

I have a direct line to the deity Vel-Veeda, if anyone's interested.


_________________
"If you allow yourself to be offended, then you're a bit of [a] nitwit."
(Christopher Moore)

Dear Mr. Yogi Fixit Guy:

Is there a vegavitameatamin deva? I keep getting calls from telemarketers and creepy guys that call just to fuck with me. How do I get rid of them? And where can I send them so they don't come back as my chakras seem to draw them in?

Thank you oh great yogi.

Sincerely,

Warrior Goddess of the New England Coast.
_________________
The world in which you were born is just one model of reality.
OTHER CULTURES ARE NOT FAILED ATTEMPTS AT BEING YOU:
They are unique manifestations of the human spirit.

Wade Davis (I knew there was a reason I liked Wade Davis)

Dear Mr Yogi Fix-It Guy:

Where the hell is Boo Boo, and why are you always taking my pic-i-nic basket?

Your friend,
The Ranger




Very funny stuff Chris.

Quote:

I have a direct line to the deity Vel-Veeda, if anyone's interested.

I used to be member of that religion, too, but it became too cheesy
_________________
"Jesus... is NOT a zombie... I shouldn't have to tell you that."

- "Bones"

You guys can quit wasting your time asking Yogi Fixit Guy questions. For once, he only answers to "Djee-eck", and on the other hand, his solution for any and all problems is "Seeer, plees to check cables and reboot machine four me, I must insist."
_________________
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free.

leprrkan wrote:

Quote: I have a direct line to the deity Vel-Veeda, if anyone's interested. I used to be member of that religion, too, but it became too cheesy

oh no you didn't!
_________________
all I have to do is be, and all I have to be, I am.

Mr. Yogi fix it guy,


my dog smells funny. what should I do? Also my chinchillas do not stop peeing and pooping in their food dish and are doing unspeakable things... what should I do mighty yogi fix it guy?


please help,
~~the Orca~~
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current pics: drawings and some photos. http://www.dizzyhellfire.deviantart.com

Last edited by RedOrcaMoon on Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:38 pm; edited 1 time in total

Dear Mr. Yogi Fix-It Guy,
What must one sacrifice to make a plane not work again?
No one should get hurt but it would be good if the planes would not work so the possessed by demons stalker pilot person would be stuck very, very far away from me. I'm thinking if his aura could be arranged to take out navigation systems would be good. I'm not kidding this guy is a few yams short of a good Jimikand ka Saag if you know what I mean. The personal protection order is not working and when he is stalking it makes my chakra all like Walt disney threw up......
Please help.

Aadab Aakaanksha
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spread the love,

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by leprrkan:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quote:

quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have a direct line to the deity Vel-Veeda, if anyone's interested. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I used to be member of that religion, too, but it became too cheesy -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- oh no you didn't!

_________________
"Jesus... is NOT a zombie... I shouldn't have to tell you that."

- "Bones"