Waving madly to those who inhabit this place

Hello there!

I am suitably naked, have put a fresh piece of toast on the top of my stack of books (so as not to damage the cover of the top one) and am ready to confess.

First though, help yourself to pies. Sweet to the left, savoury to the right. I have brought them straight from the Fforde Fforum so they should be ffresh.

I am an old fogey, recently returned to IT security work after a 4 year "retirement" due to no-one wanting old fogies. I'm the co-owner, with my wife, mrs. SkidMarks of a library of about 3500 books, which are not all by Messrs. Moore, Pratchett, Fforde or Holt. There are also some some Robert Rankins.

Besides reading/moving books my interests are motor racing, photography, steampunk and music. I am not and have never been canadian, although I have been there and mrs. SkidMarks does confess to coming from New Zealand.
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Don't you hate it when you don't know if a question is rhetorical or not?

Greetings, Mr Skidmarks,
I am also new to this board, so I'll give a couple of hints. I asked when I first signed on about placing anything (like toast) between myself and the books. The stripes from the lash are just starting to heal nicely. Just so you know (This may or may not be due to the fact that I AM Canadian).

I won't be partaking of any pie just yet - It wouldn't do to eat before the other, more senior, whip carrying members got their shares.

Don't even ASK about the strip search.

But welcome! I myself just finished reading The Eyre Affair only last night. It was suggested by Mr. Moore himself. I can't wait to continue reading about the adventures of Thursday Next - although, in an ironic twist, the local Chapters won't have any more copies in until the next shipment date. Yes, you guessed it, next thursday.

Cheers!

Wingnut
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"Smacking yourself with a thawed meat-hammer never has a desired effect." - Jinxted

"Life's too short to get wrapped around the axle about the little things." - SK

-The First Law of Geography: Everything is Connected to Everything Else.

Welcome SM! I am not new..but not quite a diva...they will be along shortly..Joe will be by to explain (and administer)your strip search! It is good to have Key lime pie handy...hope you aren't allergic to latex... I think you have everything else covered..as long as you have read the rules...


btw, Wingnut...I believe those welts came from a PICA stick...not a whip..unless someone whipped out one of those (AMIGO??)...and it WAS prolly the canadian thing...keeps ya in line...

Just sayin'....
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"Relax, there's no greener grass, only different kinds!"

http://bleueyedgirl.blogspot.com/

Welcome! Enjoy your stay! good that you brought pie.
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Socially irresponsible, morally irredeemable and pretty god-damned glorious to behold, so follow me bitches! @mremann

Being naked with a name like skidmarks just doesn't seem kosher.
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"The First Annual Boobathon Queen. "

http://www.upnorthgeorgia.org

bleu wrote:

Welcome SM! I am not new..but not quite a diva...they will be along shortly..Joe will be by to explain (and administer)your strip search! It is good to have Key lime pie handy...hope you aren't allergic to latex... I think you have everything else covered..as long as you have read the rules... btw, Wingnut...I believe those welts came from a PICA stick...not a whip..unless someone whipped out one of those (AMIGO??)...and it WAS prolly the canadian thing...keeps ya in line... Just sayin'....

Not me, bleu. When given the opportunity, rare though it is, I much prefer inflicting the welts with my bare hands. Much more tactile and adds a nice "personal" touch.

Vahlee wrote:

Being naked with a name like skidmarks just doesn't seem kosher.

To say nothing of sitting naked on AG's books with a name like SkidMarks.

Blasphemous!

Please tell us your moniker is for scatological amusement only, and does NOT represent the reality of your personal hygiene.

Amigo wrote:

Not me, bleu. When given the opportunity, rare though it is, I much prefer inflicting the welts with my bare hands. Much more tactile and adds a nice "personal" touch.

Careful there, Amigo, you're going to get the pervs excited...me being one of them
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"Relax, there's no greener grass, only different kinds!"

http://bleueyedgirl.blogspot.com/

bleu wrote:

Amigo wrote: Not me, bleu. When given the opportunity, rare though it is, I much prefer inflicting the welts with my bare hands. Much more tactile and adds a nice "personal" touch. Careful there, Amigo, you're going to get the pervs excited...me being one of them

Hmmm, well, as deb would say, "c'mere kitten."

I'm no kitten, but I will purr if stroked properly...


Wait What will Joe say
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"Relax, there's no greener grass, only different kinds!"

http://bleueyedgirl.blogspot.com/

Hey Skid welcome aboard. Hope you have a high tolerance for Sophomoric humor...

Cheers
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"Jesus... is NOT a zombie... I shouldn't have to tell you that."

- "Bones"

Welcome skid.
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Your religion, you miserable man, begins in your stomach and ends in a lavatory - Nodar Dumbadze

Welcome SkidMarks!
Can I offer one of Grand Ma-Mas, absorbent pads?
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We all enter this world in the same way: naked; screaming; soaked in blood.
But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there." Dana Gould

Amigo wrote:

To say nothing of sitting naked on AG's books with a name like SkidMarks.

Hence the toast(tm)
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Don't you hate it when you don't know if a question is rhetorical or not?

Welcome, SkidMarks!

I'll have some of the sweet pie, please...

Have some sweet tea, butter beer (check the cookbook)
or cocoa, if you prefer to warm up after the strip search...

I'm sure Joe will be along soon-
in addition to being terribly fond of key lime pie, he's also a Fforde ffan-
in fact, only one "author" is verboten around here, hence the strip search...

Looks like you've got the basics covered,
check "THE RULES" at the top of NEWS & NOISE if you have any questions,
keep posting & have fun with it...

See you in the fforum!

Amigo wrote:

When given the opportunity, rare though it is, I much prefer inflicting the welts with my bare hands. Much more tactile and adds a nice "personal" touch.

You just invoked another one of my exes-
oh well, at least I'm still friends with this one...