Ninja School

Today in the Cafeteria:

Stealth PBJ and chips. (Chips steamed so as not to crunch.)

chris wrote:

I’ve decided the only way I’m actually going to be able to graduate is if I take his hand along with the diploma, and I totally rock with a short sword, so I hope Master Suzuki doesn’t mind when they transfer him to Pirate school next year because of his shiny new hook. My biggest worry is that I have to sit next to Dave. He just doesn’t seem like one of the group. I don’t mean to sound racist, but, he’s like totally Western. He sucks at everything. In invisibility class he can’t even get translucent, and twice last week he dropped a smoke bomb in the men’s room when he was trying to get his unit out of his pants. Next thing you know, we’re all clinging to the ceiling, looking only like shadows out of the corner of your eye, just like we were trained, except that we’re weeing all over ourselves. I think he might be like a spy or something for the fucking pirates. And that’s only the beginning of the mystery, today in the hall…

Pirates & ninjas?
Oh, I hope there's more!

Do they have the Velcro that doesn't make a sound when you pull it apart? Several years ago I heard the U.S. military was trying to work on that, but never found out whether they succeeded.
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"If you allow yourself to be offended, then you're a bit of [a] nitwit."
(Christopher Moore)

GOD! the Ninja's stole the freaking KOFFEEEEE! THERE'S NO KOFFEEEEEE!
That's it. I don't kare WHO I haf to drag in we're going to the store baby
ninjas pirates.... what happens at the pro/\/\
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spread the love,

I love it when Chris has free time on his hands...

DanaMichelle wrote:

I love it when Chris has free time on his hands...

Either that, or these are things that were in the first finished draft of his new book but are being excised now during the editing process.
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"If you allow yourself to be offended, then you're a bit of [a] nitwit."
(Christopher Moore)

DanaMichelle wrote:

I love it when Chris has free time on his hands...

Oh yeah, lots and lots of it
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"Jesus... is NOT a zombie... I shouldn't have to tell you that."

- "Bones"

That was excellent!

Shall I arrange for a n00bile virgin to polish your prehensile protrusion?
(AG: "wah, wah, wah, wah ,wah")
Yes sir, I know they aren't actually virgins, but they're new to you, no?
If not, how about the "Joe and Amigo Show"?
The second act is supposed to be "All New"!
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We all enter this world in the same way: naked; screaming; soaked in blood.
But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there." Dana Gould

mllefifi wrote:

Do they have the Velcro that doesn't make a sound when you pull it apart? Several years ago I heard the U.S. military was trying to work on that, but never found out whether they succeeded.

You never heard?

ba dum bum
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Quote:

There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. - W. Somerset Maugham

ken wrote:

mllefifi wrote: Do they have the Velcro that doesn't make a sound when you pull it apart? Several years ago I heard the U.S. military was trying to work on that, but never found out whether they succeeded. You never heard? ba dum bum

LOVE ninjas!
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I will gladly ravage you Tuesday for a ravaging today...

I love ninjas, too.

Especially when they're lightly sauteed in olive oil. (Deep fried battered ninjas taste better, but they're more fattening.)
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"If you allow yourself to be offended, then you're a bit of [a] nitwit."
(Christopher Moore)

You've got pirates.
You've got ninjas.
But you don't have any pirate ninja monkeys yet.

Everything is improved by adding monkeys.

Or zombies.

Thom wrote:

You've got pirates. You've got ninjas. But you don't have any pirate ninja monkeys yet. Everything is improved by adding monkeys. Or zombies.

And flavor-blasted cheesy goldfish crackers.
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"If you allow yourself to be offended, then you're a bit of [a] nitwit."
(Christopher Moore)

ninja chapter

What a great way to start my day. Thanks for making me spit my oatmeal all over the computer screen! ...bean burrito...
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Is that Cheeto Spore?

i didn't see this story until now somehow.

but it was really funny! i want to know more about the dave character. i can relate to him the best.
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"protestant heaven is in the basement of catholic heaven."
my dad

"there's just one more thing.... it's been emotional." lock stock and 2 smoking barrels