Further Notes from Germany And Milan

OK. Your Turn.

Uh, Chris, remind me not to visit Milan.

Did you get to see the bombed-out cathedral in Berlin?

Yeah, the cocktail-onion space-needle -- is this it?



Glad you got to see the rape-seed fields. They're so ... yellow...

Did you have any Spargle at a meal? Spargle, Spargle, Spargle...

Oh, and, yes, I guess the Germans don't want us to try to use their language. I remember reciting a phrase at the Frankfurt airport on departure, asking to change my money back into dollars, and the clerk proceeded to continue the transaction in English.

What good is Berlitz for? Geeze.
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"If you allow yourself to be offended, then you're a bit of [a] nitwit."
(Christopher Moore)

Freaking awesome, you're better than Fodor's

Were there pics in the blog though? They didn't come through if there were...

If you'll be in Italy long enough, can you swing by Lake Como and give George Clooney a HUGE French kiss from the ladies here and then describe it in detail? Thanks
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"Jesus... is NOT a zombie... I shouldn't have to tell you that."

- "Bones"

I can't quite put my finger on it, but I get the feeling you don't be
liking MIlan so much.
As for being across from the prison, I'm fairly sure Charlee packed your
Chastity belt, so you'ld be safe.

Your blogs are hilarious by the way, (like I'm the first to tell you so )
Complie these into a book, it's mostly written, money in the bank.
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We all enter this world in the same way: naked; screaming; soaked in blood.
But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there." Dana Gould

reminds me of the time i checked into a hotel in seattle and was greeted with "don't mind all the cops outside, someone escaped from prision and they are searching from him." it just fills you with a nice warm safe feeling doesn't it?
so what do they leave on your pillow in milan?
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"protestant heaven is in the basement of catholic heaven."
my dad

"there's just one more thing.... it's been emotional." lock stock and 2 smoking barrels

Dude, you can't trust Travelocity. People affiliated with the owners of the places post bogus reviews on there all the time. Might be someone on this very website even...



This is what Berlitz is good for:





http://youtube.com/watch?v=YsCR9Y4Ymvo
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"It's like Mr. Scrappy you bite Coco. Coco, you bite him back. Soon you are both having worms, eating your own poopech..." -Zohan in You Don't Mess With the Zohan

Dude, you can't trust Travelocity. People affiliated with the owners of the places post bogus reviews on there all the time. Might be someone on this very website even...



This is what Berlitz is good for:





http://youtube.com/watch?v=YsCR9Y4Ymvo
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"It's like Mr. Scrappy you bite Coco. Coco, you bite him back. Soon you are both having worms, eating your own poopech..." -Zohan in You Don't Mess With the Zohan

Very nice, calm even-spaced writing. Very good non-fiction. Very insightfully descriptive. I love that.
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Your religion, you miserable man, begins in your stomach and ends in a lavatory - Nodar Dumbadze

Hmmmm... since there were no screams or whining, I'm assuming my planned prank didn't come off. Oh well, there's always next time.

So, Chris.....Really, How was Milan? Truly Chris, I think you might want to re-think the whole "authorguy" thing. I just picked up a Fodor's Travel Guide, and nowhere does it give such uncanny insight into the City as you have done in your blog! You may have unwittingly opened up a whole new genre of travelogues, and I for one think you should run with it! Hell, King managed to make a mint selling a serial novel, forcing us gullible readers into buying a book a chapter at a time.....why not, " AuthorGuy's City of the Month Club" !!
Sign me up for the Inaugural Subscription!!!
ps: I always wondered where my adopted home of Knoxville got it's inspiration for it's 1982 Worlds Fair Monument....( drum roll here ) The SunSphere. ( picture a tootsie-pop on steroids, designed by Liberace)
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"If this isn't fun, then I don't know what is!"

So Chris, really..how was Milan? Truly, Chris, I think you might want to re-think the whole " AuthorGuy " thing. I just picked up a Fodor's travel guide to Milan, and nowher does it give such uncanny insight into the City as you have done in your blog! You may have unwittingly ( or wittingly, if you prefer ) opened up a whole new genre of travelogues. Hell, Stephen King managed to make a mint selling a serial novel, forcing gullible readers into buying a book a few chapters at a time! So why not, ( trumpets ) The AuthorGuy's City of the Month Club!!
Put me down for an Inaugural Subscription!!

ps: I've always wondered where my adopted home of Knoxville, TN got it tacky inspiration for its 1982 Worlds Fair Monument....( drum roll ) The SunSphere.
( picture a tootsie-pop on steroids, designed by Liberace )
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"If this isn't fun, then I don't know what is!"

Not digging Italy?

Maybe you just need some rose-colored glasses-
or a ride in the HELLO KITTY car, or maybe the Pope-mobile...

fortune cookie wrote:

Your blogs are hilarious by the way, (like I'm the first to tell you so ) Complie these into a book, it's mostly written, money in the bank.

Yep, it's like those SIGNSPOTTING books only funnier & those things make me laugh til I'm sore...

The trick to get one of the best and /quietest/ rooms for cheap in any European hotel is to ask for the bus driver's or chauffeur's room. Obviously you'd also have to pretend to be a bus driver or chauffeur.
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It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free.

You know ... Germany was one of my favorite places I've ever visited, for all the reasons you said.

(except I haven't told you guys my elevator story yet, which does call into question that German efficiency ... It's not a story, actually, more like a sentence.)

ANYWAY ... Milan is potentially my least favorite place I've even been to. Like a close tie with Downtown Los Angeles. So I thought the contrast was going to be interesting. And voila. Interesting.

I'm sorry, but I'm glad the prison hotel happened, because that shit was funny.

Being of Italian descent, I'm glad they didn't take out my ancestors, and one can only hope that Milan is the exception rather than the Italian rule. However, I do caution you against the cardboard kids in Rome. Getting your passport reissued in a foreign country is a bitch.
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My Book
My Myspace

There was a paragraph about how I couldn't upload the blog or the pics, so I e-mailed the blog to Ken and he posted. I couldn't make him put the photos in , too, even if they would have uploaded to the server.

Maybe I'll luck out and get a better connection in the next city.