In honor of y

Please add to "The List of things you should never say to a woman in labor":

Umm...honey, your ass is sticking out of the back of your gown.

::Pointing at lady's nether regions:: Dear God, what is that thing?!?
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<=== Dressing in dismal chic and maintaining her detached aura of aristocratic chill since 1985.
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"You can't wipe your ass with empty promises." - thread title, by walk

Sweetheart, since your contractions are still 5 minutes apart, I'm gonna stop for a McMuffin on the way to the hospital, 'kay? Could you keep it down while I'm ordering?"
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"No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist."

Do you think this'll be over before the game starts?


Wow, that is MASSIVE.



Want some Doritos?
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Huh!
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You told me the due date was next Tuesday. I have a tee time this morning.
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"No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist."

"Trust me, you'll want to have sex again someday." Said by the anesthesiologist to my wife. She would have killed him on the spot, but she was kind of busy at the time. On the other hand, I've never seen him again and we did get a nice patio shortly after that.

"You can't have an epidural till you're fully dilated." Which sucked and, I've since learned, is bullshit.
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<=== Dressing in dismal chic and maintaining her detached aura of aristocratic chill since 1985.
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"You can't wipe your ass with empty promises." - thread title, by walk

Sephonae wrote:

"You can't have an epidural till you're fully dilated." Which sucked and, I've since learned, is bullshit.

I was about 3 centimeters when I got my epi.
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knikkki wrote:

Sephonae wrote: "You can't have an epidural till you're fully dilated." Which sucked and, I've since learned, is bullshit. I was about 3 centimeters when I got my epi.

In my case it was, "Looks like we gave you your epidural too late..." I almost killed someone.
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"If this isn't nice, I don't know what is."

Kurt Vonnegut

yeah, she's a screamer alright...

don't worry honey, its just baby weight...

so, how long will you be out of commission???

Oh suck it up...

or

Walk it off...
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You can't dust for vomit
This is the Governor's wife. -- You mean she's not the hooker?
It's time to separate the awkwardly feminine from the possibly canadian

JennyO wrote:

knikkki wrote: Sephonae wrote: "You can't have an epidural till you're fully dilated." Which sucked and, I've since learned, is bullshit. I was about 3 centimeters when I got my epi. In my case it was, "Looks like we gave you your epidural too late..." I almost killed someone.

Gah! Some nurses/doctors are so apathetic to laboring women...I know *you've* seen it a million times, fuckwad, but it was brand spanking new--and awful!--to me! Prick weasels.

But back to the theme at hand; "Shut up and pile that lumber, ya pussy!"
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<=== Dressing in dismal chic and maintaining her detached aura of aristocratic chill since 1985.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"You can't wipe your ass with empty promises." - thread title, by walk

I know with the baby coming you are probably not in the mood to do it, but how about a blowjob? I mean come on, the baby isn't coming out of your mouth is it?


Is that inappropriate enough? I am pretty sure my wife would have laid me out cold if I had said that with either of ours.
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"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science." - Albert Einstein

(While holding video camera) "Aw man, this is going to make a classic You Tube vid."


"Yeah, hold your horses. I'll drive you to the hospital as soon as I finish this tweet."



"So... seeing anybody?"

Uptown_Toodeloo wrote:

I know with the baby coming you are probably not in the mood to do it, but how about a blowjob? I mean come on, the baby isn't coming out of your mouth is it? Is that inappropriate enough? I am pretty sure my wife would have laid me out cold if I had said that with either of ours.

My response would be: You first!