I can see using that "oh, do fuck off, you wanker" a lot at my house! Mostly towards my husband's friends. Thanks, Chris!
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~Patricia

chris wrote:

That's fish, Jilly. Turtles, indeed, do it.

And always in front of the kids at the zoo. They also groove on threesomes. And make these deep, guttural noises. Total turtle porn
"Mommy, what they doin'?"
"They're huggin, and singing a Jimmy Durante song,now move the fluffy bunny on."

[quote="chris"]

Jillybeans wrote:

Besides turtles DON'T fuck. They barely get any fun which is probably why they snap so much. Mom lays the eggs and Dad spews the semen all over them, quote] That's fish, Jilly. Turtles, indeed, do it.

I feel so dirty now. They do? I stand corrected and will send an outraged letter of indignation to the Animal Planet for steering me wrong. What I really want to know is how the guy turtle gets it out and hard (he already is with that shell around him) and definitely how the girl turtle gets ready. Oh and do they talk dirty to one another when in coitus. These are important items to have on tap when you do a Trivial Pursuit Game. Now Iguana porn...these are things I really want to know if I'm to be an educator of Sex? NOT

Uh. Zevon, I hope you're not accessing all these lovely pictures on a public computer and Zevon, you have too much time on your hands. Or maybe something else on your hands ... oh ... whatever.
_________________
The world in which you were born is just one model of reality.
OTHER CULTURES ARE NOT FAILED ATTEMPTS AT BEING YOU:
They are unique manifestations of the human spirit.

Wade Davis (I knew there was a reason I liked Wade Davis)

[quote="Jillybeans"]

chris wrote:

Jillybeans wrote: Besides turtles DON'T fuck. They barely get any fun which is probably why they snap so much. Mom lays the eggs and Dad spews the semen all over them, quote] That's fish, Jilly. Turtles, indeed, do it. I feel so dirty now. They do? I stand corrected and will send an outraged letter of indignation to the Animal Planet for steering me wrong. What I really want to know is how the guy turtle gets it out and hard (he already is with that shell around him) and definitely how the girl turtle gets ready. Oh and do they talk dirty to one another when in coitus. These are important items to have on tap when you do a Trivial Pursuit Game. Now Iguana porn...these are things I really want to know if I'm to be an educator of Sex? NOT Uh. Zevon, I hope you're not accessing all these lovely pictures on a public computer and Zevon, you have too much time on your hands. Or maybe something else on your hands ... oh ... whatever.

Jes' tryin to help.
And no, it's not a public 'puter...
For further research into turtle mating or just for a warm glass of milk type sleep aid, go
HERE

*manifestomanifestomotherfuckmanifesto*


My nephew (the son of satan his own god damned self) came home one day and axed his mom... "Why is the lady at the store a mother fucker?"

Completely out of context, one might think this to be a bad thing... but knowing the lady at the store and having been there at the time of the language lesson from my brother in law... I can honestly say, it could have been worse...

I must say AG, a little motherfucker here and there isn't all that bad... and its not like you've gone into someone's house, tied them to a chair, duct-taped thier mouths shut (so as not to command the devil to leave) and screamed mother fucker at them over and over again...

Manifestomanifestomotherfuckmanifesto*
_________________
You are so whack.Wiggity whack?Nope, just the regular kind.
You can't dust for vomit
This is the Governor's wife. -- You mean she's not the hooker?
It's time to separate the awkwardly feminine from the possibly canadian

conspiracies unlimited wrote:

*manifestomanifestomotherfuckmanifesto* My nephew (the son of satan his own god damned self) came home one day and axed his mom... "Why is the lady at the store a mother fucker?" Completely out of context, one might think this to be a bad thing... but knowing the lady at the store and having been there at the time of the language lesson from my brother in law... I can honestly say, it could have been worse... I must say AG, a little motherfucker here and there isn't all that bad... and its not like you've gone into someone's house, tied them to a chair, duct-taped thier mouths shut (so as not to command the devil to leave) and screamed mother fucker at them over and over again... Manifestomanifestomotherfuckmanifesto*

That only works if you're listening to "Stuck In The Middle With You", by Steeler's Wheel....
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"Women are like Voltron. The more you can hook up, the better it gets." Red Vs. Blue

This is an interesting thread. I read CM’s post and it made me think. As most of you know, I’m a Mormon. And as such, I rarely if ever swear, maybe a “hell” or “damn” every blue moon but that’s about it. So when I read CM’s post it got me thinking about why I’ve never thought to write to him and express my displeasure for the type of language he uses in his books.

Chris is right, I know what to expect when I pick up his books and if what I don’t care for in his writing wasn’t overshadowed so completely by what I DO like, I would have quit reading after just the first few pages of the first of his books I found (lust lizard) and moved on. I’ve done that with other authors. But Chris's books are so enjoyable and to be honest, the colorful language usually enhances the humor.
_________________
Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand
-Kurt Vonnegut

http://manly-but-bookish.blogspot.com/

*fuckfuckmotherfuckmanifestofuck*
_________________
You are so whack.Wiggity whack?Nope, just the regular kind.
You can't dust for vomit
This is the Governor's wife. -- You mean she's not the hooker?
It's time to separate the awkwardly feminine from the possibly canadian

Everyone else seems too mature to take the obvious route, but let's face it, I'm not.

Goddamn it, Chris. I fucking think you should stop using so much fucking much foul-ass language in your fucking fabulous books. I don't mean to bitch but is it really fucking necessary that every character say shit and fuck. Hell, wouldn't "hush-puppies" work just as goddamn well?

Seriously, though, don't listen, AG. What fun is a book without a few mothafuckas? All the classics were rife with foul language, Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, Jules Verne, Charles Dickens . . . wait, that's not right. Still, my point stands despite being wildly erroneous.
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Lynn, Reading Kafka in a hospital is generally redundant. Better just to wander the halls randomly opening doors.
--Ginjg

.... well bless their hearts. *coughfuckoffcough*

... that animal porn made my eyes sting. I shall in the bathroom rinsing out my eyes now... j/k.
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"Quack, damn you." - Mythbusters

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Slowly returning from the hell pit that is college. I hope. D:

I think what is needed here in the market are:


What would biff do in this situation? bracelets and necklaces

and

What would Raziel do if he were you?

come one... we know we all want it...

ok yeah Chris seriously, dont let the motherfuckers get you down. If anything it was probably my friends mom. She got up in my face when she saw I had a pocket knife an insence stick, a candle, and a pack of matches. I was going to use those for something and she fucking threw them away. hell I had forgotten they were in my bag and i saw them in the trash. anyways..

yeah my friend Peter...he said hes offended by the use of "fluffy bunnies" and "fuzzy bunnies" mainly cause he is one. as for your books, not enough cursing. I fucking say you better goddman well take them all the shelves adn out of our home and add more rats fucking, whales mating and more goddamn cursing!

ok enough from me, I've probably scared you enough....

edit: the pocket knife was like.....1 1/2 inches adn it was a nail file one and letter opener. not sure what she was scared of....
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current pics: drawings and some photos. http://www.dizzyhellfire.deviantart.com

My new avatar is a ring I wear on a daily basis. Have a complaint? Talk to the hand.
_________________
When I tell you that I love you
Don't test my love
Accept my love, don't test my love
Cause maybe I don't love you all that much - Dan Bern

Okay, so it's a totally sucky picture. The post was in regards to the complainers to the foul language. "How about a nice tall glass of fuck you" Everybody loves my ring until they read it. Works GREAT in bars!
_________________
When I tell you that I love you
Don't test my love
Accept my love, don't test my love
Cause maybe I don't love you all that much - Dan Bern

Arioch wrote:

Okay, so it's a totally sucky picture. The post was in regards to the complainers to the foul language. "How about a nice tall glass of fuck you" Everybody loves my ring until they read it. Works GREAT in bars!

If I had that I would've flashed that around so many times... it would cut back on me actually saying it. XD
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Slowly returning from the hell pit that is college. I hope. D:

Chris-you're my hero. Keep up the filth.
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JT