Scrooge Out

There’s nothing at all wrong with being a scrooge during the holidays. I personally promote the war on Christmas as I think Christmas is one of the most wicked holidays of the year and Jesus probably hates us for celebrating it. Let me explain myself here… 1st of all, Christmas only originated due to the fact that the Christians were attempting everything in their power to stomp out the pagan holidays that still existed. Some people may not know this, but December 25th was at one time a pagan observation of the sun god, celebrating the lengthening of the days. It’s not like anyone really knows when Jesus was born. And who cares anyway? The guy’s been dead for like over two thousand years people, get over it… time to evolve. It’s not like we go around declaring Socrates birthday a national holiday. However, if it were in the interests of eliminating Christmas and moving towards Socramas, I would be all for it.

Another reason I hate Christmas is the amount of money I spend trying to be “thoughtful”, buying gifts for my friends and family, and all I ever wind up with is some cheap brass jewelry or miniature bottle of hand lotion their kids bought at their school’s Christmas fundraiser. Now it’s not that I’m ungrateful, but during this time of fictitious merriment, it seems to me that maybe we could eliminate this gift giving crap, especially during bad economic times.

And the food – Yes, the food is good. But what’s so great about gaining 10lbs over every holiday season by stuffing ourselves full of pie? Just once I would like my New Years resolution to be something more enlightening than having to sweat my ass off to Tae Bo every morning until I’m back to my normal self.

And get this – my Christmas is not even over. I am currently sitting in the airport waiting to take off to visit my folks in Florida, because they were too fucking cheap to buy me a ticket during peak flying days. Now I get to spend my new years eve in a retirement community – JOY.

So… Bahfuckinghumbug. I’m glad it’s over (well not quite for me). Scrooge out all you want Chris, Jesus would be proud of you.


By the way, I’m not always this bitter. Next time I’ll post something about bunnies or flowering dandelions to balance things out.

-Adrienne

She said 'pie.' Clearly she's in the right place. And another Michigander, too.

sgt_steve wrote:

She said 'pie.' Clearly she's in the right place.

Pie… I guess it’s not really right for me to disrespect pie. Pie is the essence of all that is good and holy. Maybe someday there will be no more pie, and then I will really be sorry I ever said that.

Adrienne

gracie wrote:

I ditched all the stuff I hated about Christmas years ago.

That’s pretty smart. I think I heard somewhere that the suicide rate is much higher around Christmas time. Given that, I think Christmas should be optional and no one should be able to give you any shit about it if you choose to sit out.