IMPROVED BY DELICIOUS CHEESY GOLDFISH CRACKERS

Almost anything, don't you think?

My son's the one that twisted your parrot's neck off. Want a cracker?
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Book: A garden carried in a pocket. Arabian Proverb

NOW I know how to improve my mammogram on Thursday! Wonder if delicious cheesy goldfish cracker crumbs can mess up the films...

Dr: "Guess we didn't have to do a mastectomy. Wonder what those blobs on the X-ray were?"
Nurse: "I don't know, but why don't you have some delicious cheesy goldfish crackers? That'll make you feel better."
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Practice safe eating...always use condiments.

State Trooper: "Wow, that suicidal deer just destroyed the front end of your car. Want a Cheesy goldish snack?"
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It's Never too late to have a happy childhood -- Tom Robbins from Still Life with Woodpecker
http://ironbartender.blogspot.com

"So, I just got back from the doctors and I have a yeast infection. Cheesy goldfish cracker?"


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Twitter: jefftunes

"The release of 'A Dirty Job' has been delayed indefinitely. Cheesey goldfish cracker?"
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"Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind; it doesn't take you anywhere, but it tones up muscles that might." Pratchett

"Would you like some cheesy goldfish crackers before we carry out your death sentence?"
"Why sure! I could really go for some golden goodness right now, thanks!"
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Socially irresponsible, morally irredeemable and pretty god-damned glorious to behold

THE EXCEPTION THAT PROVES THE RULE

"Fuck! I lost my chessy goldfish crackers!"
"Wow, dude. Sucks. Here, have a cheesy golfish cracker."
"Gee thanks dude--Heeeyy! What the Fuck?! I'll kill you ya son-of-a--"



....and so on.
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Angels, Devils, and Men:
The first forgets,
The third regrets,
and the second has all of the fun.

--Analytics of Five

Goldfish Crackers

It may seem funny now but when we're all hunkered down in our holes, fighting off hunger during Gulf War III (which, oddly enough, will not be fought near any Gulf), the wholesome, cheesy goodness that is the Goldfish cracker will be your salvation. Or mine, if you're not careful.
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"I will destroy you!"
-- Morbo, alien newscaster

ZOMBIES!! Cheesy goldfish cracker before we run?
or
Cheesy goldfish cracker covered zombies?
or
Cheesy goldfish cracker brains for zombies?
or
Zombies bearing cheesy goldfish crackers?
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Red Cross or Doctors Without Borders

"Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart." - Anne Frank

So...in this order:

Suck brains

go to IKEA

eat cheesy goldfish crackers

I'd rather watch the Oscar's again than eat a cheesey Goldfish cracker. Sorry .. My stomach is turning just thinking about them.
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We are missing the mark with goldfish crackers... Zombie crackers! This is where the big money is. What kid or demented adult wouldn't go knee deep into debt just to have themselves a nice big bag of "ZOMBIE CRACKERS". they are no longer a novel idea, but are instead a necessity of life(undead) itself. Why, without zombie crackers there wouldn't be a zombie beach diet. The skull dip bowl wouldn't be a reality. The Kelloggs Brain Flakes cereal would just be another breakfast food. This is just the beginning of a zombie empire! Zombies unite!

Soylent Green Zombie Crackers would be the next logical step...(maybe in the shape of fish, maybe brain shaped.) Post Raison Brains, Brain Rinds, Pringles Fontal Lobe Chips.

Sure Goldfish Crackers are great, but Gold Zombie Crackers would be better.
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- Anyway, so there I was spittin on my goldfish tryin to keep it alive....

-"Some people are like slinkies--they are good for nothing, but can still bring a smile to your face by throwing them down a flight of stairs."

Chris --- If you aren't careful, people are going to show up at your signings with Cheesey Goldfish Brain Pie.
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I kind of live on delicious cheese goldfish crackers when I am working. It keeps me from having to play with the children I am babysitting. Absolutely improves the situation. Especially when they are screaming bloody murder, then goldfish crackers are a must.