Parent Issues and Writers

So, is the futile effort to try to get your parents to understand and/or care about your creative efforts, or to get them to understand why it's important to you and not just some stupid shit you are wasting your life on something that a lot of people deal with, or is it just me? I am seriously considering giving up trying to convince my folks of the merits of my work. I can't even get them to READ it, let alone get them to care about the story or characters and give me honest feedback or a "Good job, boy." Is it really too much to ask? Honestly?

/whining.
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Scruffy|SRD Books

parents who "don't get it" are a dime a dozen.
Usually a person must have a passion of his/her own , no matter what it is, to even begin to appreciate anyone else's.

Passionless people will never get it.

Just count yourself lucky to have one and pursue it with enthusiasm.
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To Learn is to Know
To Know is to Love
To Love is our aim

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Why should we bother with immortality when we are eternal?

WTF are you doing in Utah?!

Hmmmm, I never wanted my folks to read anything I've written-
I mean, they've seen my artwork from back in the day but that wasn't as explicitly personal...

But going by the rest of my life, my dad would encourage me
& my mom has never approved of anything I've done
with the exception of getting involved with my last ex-
that derails her credibility enough that I don't give a rat's ass what she says...

Short answer: as long as somebody's giving you support, don't sweat the lack of it from others...


SRD, while I have your attention, wanna sell some books?

I own a comic store & we're expanding our inventory to include books-
would have been on this sooner but I got too sick to think & funds ran low
so now I gotta wait til we get more money but lemme know if you're interested...

Re: Parent Issues and Writers

sugarraydodge wrote:

So, is the futile effort to try to get your parents to understand and/or care about your creative efforts, or to get them to understand why it's important to you and not just some stupid shit you are wasting your life on something that a lot of people deal with, or is it just me? I am seriously considering giving up trying to convince my folks of the merits of my work. I can't even get them to READ it, let alone get them to care about the story or characters and give me honest feedback or a "Good job, boy." Is it really too much to ask? Honestly? /whining.

Sometimes it isn't an effort worth making to have your parents read it, unless you are super close and they are super supportive. In time, when it is that time, they will either understand or they won't. But, it doesn't matter because you are a writer and that is part of who you are. It doesn't make them bad people. It just means that they don't get it, and they will or they won't.

The point is, you only need to prove anything to just one person. That person is you. Do that first and the rest will follow.

zendao42 wrote:

WTF are you doing in Utah?! Hmmmm, I never wanted my folks to read anything I've written- I mean, they've seen my artwork from back in the day but that wasn't as explicitly personal... But going by the rest of my life, my dad would encourage me & my mom has never approved of anything I've done with the exception of getting involved with my last ex- that derails her credibility enough that I don't give a rat's ass what she says... Short answer: as long as somebody's giving you support, don't sweat the lack of it from others... SRD, while I have your attention, wanna sell some books? I own a comic store & we're expanding our inventory to include books- would have been on this sooner but I got too sick to think & funds ran low so now I gotta wait til we get more money but lemme know if you're interested...

I have been in Utah for a few weeks now. The job at the Defense Department was turning into much more trouble than it was worth, so I bailed and drove out here. As far as selling books, I am in the process of starting my own small press. I want to add some more bonus content to my books before I actually start selling them to bookstores and such, but I hope to have everything up and running this year. Send me a PM with your info and I'll send you guys my catalog when I finally get my act together
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Scruffy|SRD Books

Ginjg wrote:

parents who "don't get it" are a dime a dozen. Usually a person must have a passion of his/her own , no matter what it is, to even begin to appreciate anyone else's. Passionless people will never get it. Just count yourself lucky to have one and pursue it with enthusiasm.

Yes. That's it exactly.
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<=== Dressing in dismal chic and maintaining her detached aura of aristocratic chill since 1985.
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"You can't wipe your ass with empty promises." - thread title, by walk

sugarraydodge wrote:

zendao42 wrote: WTF are you doing in Utah?! Hmmmm, I never wanted my folks to read anything I've written- I mean, they've seen my artwork from back in the day but that wasn't as explicitly personal... But going by the rest of my life, my dad would encourage me & my mom has never approved of anything I've done with the exception of getting involved with my last ex- that derails her credibility enough that I don't give a rat's ass what she says... Short answer: as long as somebody's giving you support, don't sweat the lack of it from others... SRD, while I have your attention, wanna sell some books? I own a comic store & we're expanding our inventory to include books- would have been on this sooner but I got too sick to think & funds ran low so now I gotta wait til we get more money but lemme know if you're interested... I have been in Utah for a few weeks now. The job at the Defense Department was turning into much more trouble than it was worth, so I bailed and drove out here. As far as selling books, I am in the process of starting my own small press. I want to add some more bonus content to my books before I actually start selling them to bookstores and such, but I hope to have everything up and running this year. Send me a PM with your info and I'll send you guys my catalog when I finally get my act together

Sweet!

I was hoping we'd see you at the DC signing but I guess now you're on the wrong side of the country-
we're still waiting for a new batch of funds but don't worry, I'll get in touch with you soon...

If your folks dont value your passion seek out someone close to them whose opinions, advice, or counsel that they do value and ask them to read your work and pass it on to your parents with any opinions on it they may render. This could be relatives, in-laws or family friends.

If nothing else this would show your parents that you are at least serious enough about your work to value their judgement.

A little time on the Interweb turned up these snippets:

Monet's parents never thought he'd make money as an artist.

J.K. Rowling's parents wanted her to be a secretary.

Ring Lardner's dad wanted pushed him to be an engineer.

I'm sure there are MANY more, but I need to believe in my own worth and work and ignore anyone who tells me otherwise.

Plus, I'm not sure my parents had particularly good taste.
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No one will give me the time to write. I have to take the time.

I honestly can't remember why I was whining about this a scant 10 months ago, but I'm positive I was justified. March 27... that puts it right in the middle of me staying at my parents house while I was searching for a place of my own, and right at the end of a short story I was writing called "I Want to Be Your Canary," which was the Happy Valley finale...

OH! I remember now! This was back when I thought it would be cool to start my own small press and sell my books my dang self instead of trying to get published or looking for a dreary, dead-end job in a shitty economy. My parents (particularly my father) was trying to convince me that I was doomed to fail so I shouldn't even try. Also that I should go to Weber State to get some asshole degree so I could do something I hated instead of pursuing a career as a novelist... and a year later, it looks like I listened to him. I'm in Pharmacy School when I would rather be writing novels. Fucking boo. I have to go kill myself now, everybody. It was nice knowing you. Goodbye friends. ...okay, that last part was a joke. But I have committed myself to finish a new novel this year, school or no school.

/whining part 2.
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Scruffy|SRD Books

Sometimes ya gotta separate the advice from the advisor-
education ain't a bad thing & I say this as somebody who has 2 degrees I'm not using-
eventually, you'll find a use for all this knowledge cuz you're a writer, dammit!