all right, funbagz

I've tried to read it. Several times. Each time, I can't get into the story. I'm not compelled to continue reading because the characters aren't interesting. Nor does the plot seem to take me into the story. I just can't be bothered to get past a paragraph or two...no matter where I start the reading. The story itself is clipped and ...if comparing to wine...more like vinegar. There's a bitter undertone that just turns me off.

You asked. It's just my opinion though.
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"Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind; it doesn't take you anywhere, but it tones up muscles that might." Pratchett

At long last:)

I'm sorry you couldn't get into it and it is a work in progress. For the bitter comment, there is a very good reason for that and if you read my synopses in the "so you want to be a writer" forum you'll understand why he is so bitter.

I thank you for the critique and I had a funny feeling that it wasn't very interesting after no one commented on it for so long.

I guess it's one of those stories that needs to be told as a whole to be understood.
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For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.