Thereís nothing at all wrong with being a scrooge during the holidays. I personally promote the war on Christmas as I think Christmas is one of the most wicked holidays of the year and Jesus probably hates us for celebrating it. Let me explain myself hereÖ 1st of all, Christmas only originated due to the fact that the Christians were attempting everything in their power to stomp out the pagan holidays that still existed. Some people may not know this, but December 25th was at one time a pagan observation of the sun god, celebrating the lengthening of the days. Itís not like anyone really knows when Jesus was born. And who cares anyway? The guyís been dead for like over two thousand years people, get over itÖ time to evolve. Itís not like we go around declaring Socrates birthday a national holiday. However, if it were in the interests of eliminating Christmas and moving towards Socramas, I would be all for it.
Another reason I hate Christmas is the amount of money I spend trying to be ďthoughtfulĒ, buying gifts for my friends and family, and all I ever wind up with is some cheap brass jewelry or miniature bottle of hand lotion their kids bought at their schoolís Christmas fundraiser. Now itís not that Iím ungrateful, but during this time of fictitious merriment, it seems to me that maybe we could eliminate this gift giving crap, especially during bad economic times.
And the food Ė Yes, the food is good. But whatís so great about gaining 10lbs over every holiday season by stuffing ourselves full of pie? Just once I would like my New Years resolution to be something more enlightening than having to sweat my ass off to Tae Bo every morning until Iím back to my normal self.
And get this Ė my Christmas is not even over. I am currently sitting in the airport waiting to take off to visit my folks in Florida, because they were too fucking cheap to buy me a ticket during peak flying days. Now I get to spend my new years eve in a retirement community Ė JOY.
SoÖ Bahfuckinghumbug. Iím glad itís over (well not quite for me). Scrooge out all you want Chris, Jesus would be proud of you.
By the way, Iím not always this bitter. Next time Iíll post something about bunnies or flowering dandelions to balance things out.