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CM DOES NOT READ
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JulieB



Joined: 21 Feb 2006
Posts: 552
Location: Oklahoma
CM DOES NOT READ  Reply with quote  

LMAO! Smile We know that he does not read. Let us contemplate that aspect of his personality. Why is it that he does not read?
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Post Wed Apr 19, 2006 8:53 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
JulieB



Joined: 21 Feb 2006
Posts: 552
Location: Oklahoma
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BTW, his not reading turned out pretty damn funny. Let us hope that he continues his "not" reading, readings. Smile
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Post Wed Apr 19, 2006 9:11 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Lib



Joined: 16 Apr 2004
Posts: 3423
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Chris, that was great reading! Thank you...Lib

Here, have a donut -


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Post Wed Apr 19, 2006 9:28 pm   View user's profile Send private message
Lukaret



Joined: 28 Aug 2005
Posts: 1589
Location: ... Hell. No wait... make that GP, Texas, that's about the same thing.
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Lib... don't tempt me with that! <333 *drool*

Anywho, for a non-reader, that was funny and informative at the same time. <3 Rant on, AG, rant on.
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Post Wed Apr 19, 2006 9:30 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
Ginjg



Joined: 04 Sep 2004
Posts: 6617
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I just read it to my husband. And he LHAO
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Post Wed Apr 19, 2006 9:32 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address
FattyFattyPorkFace



Joined: 10 Aug 2004
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Location: Michigan
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I don't get it...so do you fucking read or not? Geez, some people are so cryptic!
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Post Wed Apr 19, 2006 9:50 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
knikkki



Joined: 13 Jun 2005
Posts: 3145
Location: Davis, CA
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This made me laugh really hard.

I thought when I wrote the book, that it was understood,
at least tacitly,
that a reader would be provided,


And the part about staring at your bald spot.
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Post Wed Apr 19, 2006 10:58 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Klari



Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Posts: 4734
Location: Portland, OR
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Okay, I laughed my ass off but felt kinda creeped out at the same time.



Julie, Chris doesn't read aloud from his own books because he claims he sucks at it. I guess he can read notes that he makes for himself but reading word for word is different. Hang on, let me check my Lamb Tour Audio for his precise words on the subject.


"I read too fast and I edit on the fly and the verbs end up on the end and it's like a bad translation of German."


Dat's whut de man say on de Lamb tour. In Seattle. I believe at the University Bookstore. I think. What do I know, I was probably stuck in a hotel room in Redding at the time (I was a on road trip with the fam, wait, why is this becoming about me?)


Ha-Ha. I bet Chris did not know I'd pull up the audio and quote him years later when he put this on his website.
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Post Thu Apr 20, 2006 12:16 am   View user's profile Send private message
DanaMichelle



Joined: 09 Jun 2005
Posts: 1368
Location: Michigan
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Chris, I knew you'd handle that situation with grace and decorum. But why did you have your underwear in your pocket?

Is it possible to tell us how the audience (or the management) reacted to your not reading?

Post Thu Apr 20, 2006 4:59 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
ansky



Joined: 19 Feb 2006
Posts: 16
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Before reading that I was just annoyed (and disappointed) that I got rear-ended on my way to the non-reading... Now, I'd like to get a hold of the guy who did it. I'd shove a copy of AG's essay in his face and force him to read it -- aloud, in public, preferably with sound systems recording it. I know he'd really appreciate what pain he caused me then.

(10 years ago I would have wanted to beat the crap out of him, but I don't get in fights anymore... I've lost a step or two, so my approach of strike a surprise blow and run has been seriously degraded...)

Post Thu Apr 20, 2006 5:25 am   View user's profile Send private message
JennyO



Joined: 28 Apr 2004
Posts: 2775
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Chris, you can not read to me any time. You are the funniest man on the planet.
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Post Thu Apr 20, 2006 5:27 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Brenda



Joined: 31 Mar 2004
Posts: 272
Location: NYC
Audience reaction  Reply with quote  

You could tell who in the crowd was there for Chris (many people I think) because we tended to group together at the wedding style tables (complete with wedding cake.) As Chris didn't read there were pockets of people falling over with laughter while there were others looking around somewhat confused. Like did they wandered into the wrong event, a Daily Show taping perhaps? It was priceless and enhanced the effect.

B


Last edited by Brenda on Thu Apr 20, 2006 5:49 am; edited 1 time in total

Post Thu Apr 20, 2006 5:35 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
y



Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 3858
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Very Happy As usual, thanks for making me smile. I needed that.
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Post Thu Apr 20, 2006 5:37 am   View user's profile Send private message
mandi



Joined: 14 Sep 2004
Posts: 54
Location: NY
Historic AG Reading  Reply with quote  

chris, thanks so much for posting! it was because I asked, right?! huh huh?! it's all ME, right?!

and fwiw, i thought you did a fine job Reading. you converted at least one person at my table. despite the bear thing. hee.
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Post Thu Apr 20, 2006 6:07 am   View user's profile Send private message
sgt_steve



Joined: 18 Jan 2005
Posts: 5197
Location: Michissippi
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Very fine, Chris, very fine. I especially liked the page turn. Smile

Post Thu Apr 20, 2006 6:15 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
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