Newbie doobie doo

Hey, hi, uh is this thing on?

Newbie here, from Maryland. 38, Male, Married (monygamously), 1 kid, have read all the CM books, um, fairly intimidated by smarty-pants literary bulletin board types, like animals to play with and eat, enjoy cool weather over hot, enjoy books, ice hockey and food.

Favorite Curse Words: "douchebag" (used exclusively when driving) and "motherfucker" (used extensively and gratuitously, and as various parts of speech)

Current Ride: 2006 Honda Emasculator (with Leather Package - make your own joke here)

Last Book Read: Don't Get Too Comfortable - David Rakoff

Aspiration: to prove that winning the lottery won't ruin me.

Avatar is me, though hopefully small enough that the pores don't show. So anyway, HI!



Last CD Bought: The Futureheads (though I don't know why, exactly)

<~~smartypants here. hi.
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"Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind; it doesn't take you anywhere, but it tones up muscles that might." Pratchett

Well, HOWDY", LIWM! Welcome to the boardello.
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Book: A garden carried in a pocket. Arabian Proverb

MOTHERFUCKER is a great curse. WOOT!

... You should find your way out of Walmart. Go to Best Buy.
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"Now I'm about to take off my shirt. A feeling of mild nausea IS normal."

UnimportantLime wrote:

[...] .. You should find your way out of Walmart. Go to Best Buy.

That would be great, if Best Buy would open at 7:30 or 8:00 in the morning.

Anyway, welcome to LostIn!
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"If you allow yourself to be offended, then you're a bit of [a] nitwit."
(Christopher Moore)

Too long! Mind if we call you Bruce to keep things straight?
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"Doug's okay." - Deb.

mllefifi wrote:

UnimportantLime wrote: [...] .. You should find your way out of Walmart. Go to Best Buy. That would be great, if Best Buy would open at 7:30 or 8:00 in the morning.

*Drool*

In my dreams.
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"Now I'm about to take off my shirt. A feeling of mild nausea IS normal."

Hello from a cool weather loving smarty-pants Christopher Moore fan. And welcome to the board. Remember to read the rules. And, we like pie. There is also something about strip searches. Someone will be along soon.

Hiya Lost, Your name reminds me of the Clash song "All Lost in the Supermarket" great tune there. I do feel sorry for you being lost in WALMART, which I consider the "Great Satan" of retail. But so it goes. welcome to de' board. also my pants ain't so smart, but they hold all my shit. The body cavity search mentioned by N&F isn't so bad as long as you have no contraband (such as Ann Coulter books in any of your body cavities). I'm too new to explain further I'll let the MAN in charge of that detail give ya' the business. Again welcome to the madness
Sid
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..they were trying to bamboozle their way out of an existential crisis...

Naked and Famous wrote:

Hello from a cool weather loving smarty-pants Christopher Moore fan. And welcome to the board. Remember to read the rules. And, we like pie. There is also something about strip searches. Someone will be along soon.

I think it will either be Sara Leigh with her Pica Stick or Joe with... whatever he uses.

But anyways! Welcome LostInWalmart... I'll probably be calling you by your first name. ^_^
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"Quack, damn you." - Mythbusters

Facebook Me!

I have a Twitter too.

Slowly returning from the hell pit that is college. I hope. D:

Hi Lost.

As for 'motherfucker'....A great opportunity to use it happened last night. Yes I lost my cool and my eyebrows got entangled. It is royal language for it made me feel like a Queen.
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Your religion, you miserable man, begins in your stomach and ends in a lavatory - Nodar Dumbadze

Hiya Wally. You may want the wife in the room for this...



<<<SNAP!!!>>>
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"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
delusional minority and by the mainstream media which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

Belated "hello"

Hi LIW,

I was on vacation when this originally posted. That, and the fact that I rarely read the Who's Who section kept me from seeing your post.

But just now I noticed that you're from Maryland, so I came here looking for further details. I've been on the west coast for over a decade, but I'm a native Marylander. There's actually quite a few here from that neck of the woods, you may have noticed. I spent my childhood in the Baltimore area and my teen years in the suburbs of DC. I consider DC to be my hometown. If you're comfortable answering, I was wondering what part of the state you're in? Why? Just bored and curious. It's always nice to see folks from back home.

Anyway, welcome to the board. I've enjoyed your posts. I'll look forward to seeing you around.

Susan
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I wonder what Susan's reading:

http://inoneeyeouttheother.blogspot.com/

Very belatedly, welcome aboard, LostInWalmart. What happened to your avatar? I shouldn't have to remind you about the rules, but that's my shtick. So read the rules and follow them all to the letter, lest some kind of punishment be forthcoming. Get the hell out of WalMart! Who am I, you might be wondering. I'm She Who Must Be Obeyed. Oh yeah, I'm also a native Marylander, but from the far northeastern corner, where the locals have developed an accent combining the worst of Philly and Bawlmer. I'm a Virginian now and maybe have lived here longer than anywhere else ever.

I'm a Virginian (of sorts) who is now a Marylander. not exactly a win-win. I'm in the MD suburbs of DC, somewhere between the recent floods and the first sniper victims. And they say the suburbs are boring.

I have been trying to follow the rules, although sitting naked on a pile of AG books is a bit distracting to my co-workers. Not least because 9 books don't make a very tall pile, so I'm squatting naked in a cubicle. *note to self: Squatting Naked in a Cubicle is a good title* I survived the body cavity search and am really still looking for pie.

Thanks for the welcome!

LIW (Bill)


(The enormous avatar of my translucent face is being redone to something a little more beta-male and a little less Leo)