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How to Write

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Katy O



Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Posts: 5127
Location: DFW Metroplex - TX
How to Write  Reply with quote  

Apologies to all who've seen this before:

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)

4. Employ the vernacular.

5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevent) are unnecessary.

7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

8. Contractions aren't necessary.

9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

10. One should never generalize.

11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "I hate
quotations. Tell me what you know."

12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

13. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly
superfluous.

14. Profanity sucks.

15. Be more or less specific.

16. Understatement is always best.

17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20. The passive voice is to be avoided.

21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

23. Who needs rhetorical questions?

24. Don't use no double negatives.

25. You will never have been needing the future perfect tense.

26. Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

27. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Post Mon Sep 20, 2004 1:48 pm   View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
palmer



Joined: 30 Mar 2004
Posts: 1324
Re: How to Write  Reply with quote  

I have real problems with the following:


Quote:


1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren't necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
14. Profanity sucks.
16. Understatement is always best.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be avoided. [okay, mostly avoid]

Post Tue Sep 21, 2004 9:15 am   View user's profile Send private message
chris
Site Admin


Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 3833
Location: People Republic of Northern California
 Reply with quote  

Uh, Palmer?

Post Tue Sep 21, 2004 1:35 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Guest





 Reply with quote  

Although I agree that profanity sucks sometimes it is necessary, especially in dialogue, to represent your characters accurately - keep things plausible. I would surely stop reading a book that constantly had (someone the author wanted me to think of as...) a cold hearted mob boss saying "Gosh Darn" and "Fudge Yah" all the way through.

I am still trying to learn the rules so I can break them. So far I'm so far. Smile

Post Tue Sep 21, 2004 5:56 pm   
TiroIndite



Joined: 13 Sep 2004
Posts: 20
Location: Helltown USA
 Reply with quote  

Oops, that was me. Darn... now I can't edit it.

Post Tue Sep 21, 2004 6:01 pm   View user's profile Send private message
chris
Site Admin


Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 3833
Location: People Republic of Northern California
 Reply with quote  

You guys, just so no one embarasses him or herself -- ALL OF THOSE ARE IRONIC. All of them break the rule that they are expounding. IRONY is the point of the list.

Jeeze.

Post Wed Sep 22, 2004 12:16 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
TiroIndite



Joined: 13 Sep 2004
Posts: 20
Location: Helltown USA
 Reply with quote  

I always embarrass myself. It's nothing new. That's why I like to be able to edit.

Last edited by TiroIndite on Fri Oct 08, 2004 10:15 pm; edited 1 time in total

Post Wed Sep 22, 2004 12:25 am   View user's profile Send private message
palmer



Joined: 30 Mar 2004
Posts: 1324
 Reply with quote  

chris wrote:
Uh, Palmer?


I have to stop answering these in the early morning. Irony goes right over my head until noon. Duh!

Post Wed Sep 22, 2004 5:35 am   View user's profile Send private message
Katy O



Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Posts: 5127
Location: DFW Metroplex - TX
 Reply with quote  

Thanks Chris. I'm glad you did it. I couldn't figure out a way to phrase it without being mean.

Post Wed Sep 22, 2004 12:13 pm   View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
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