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Shattered

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Lynn



Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Posts: 2295
Location: SF
Shattered  Reply with quote  

I like this one a lot. Nice imagery at the beginning and the metaphor is held together really well. Very sad, but very lovely.

PS You used the wrong "your." Are Brits even allowed to do that? Razz
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Lynn, Reading Kafka in a hospital is generally redundant. Better just to wander the halls randomly opening doors.
--Ginjg

Post Sun Oct 29, 2006 4:15 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
FattyFattyPorkFace



Joined: 10 Aug 2004
Posts: 6381
Location: Michigan
 Reply with quote  

Fixed it.

That's what you get for writing something at 3:30am before sleeping and then copy it into the computer without actually checking spelling and stuff.
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Post Sun Oct 29, 2006 4:50 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Lynn



Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Posts: 2295
Location: SF
 Reply with quote  

FattyFattyPorkFace wrote:
Fixed it.

That's what you get for writing something at 3:30am before sleeping and then copy it into the computer without actually checking spelling and stuff.


That's cheating.
_________________
Lynn, Reading Kafka in a hospital is generally redundant. Better just to wander the halls randomly opening doors.
--Ginjg

Post Sun Oct 29, 2006 5:29 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
FattyFattyPorkFace



Joined: 10 Aug 2004
Posts: 6381
Location: Michigan
 Reply with quote  

Lynn wrote:

That's cheating.


How is it cheating?!
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Twitter: jefftunes

Post Sun Oct 29, 2006 7:50 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Lynn



Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Posts: 2295
Location: SF
 Reply with quote  

FattyFattyPorkFace wrote:
Lynn wrote:

That's cheating.


How is it cheating?!


Don't question me.
_________________
Lynn, Reading Kafka in a hospital is generally redundant. Better just to wander the halls randomly opening doors.
--Ginjg

Post Sun Oct 29, 2006 8:06 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
FattyFattyPorkFace



Joined: 10 Aug 2004
Posts: 6381
Location: Michigan
 Reply with quote  

Lynn wrote:
Don't question me.


You are clearly gibbering.
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Twitter: jefftunes

Post Sun Oct 29, 2006 8:27 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
lisa



Joined: 10 Apr 2004
Posts: 6789
 Reply with quote  

Brilliant piece Jeff.
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Your religion, you miserable man, begins in your stomach and ends in a lavatory - Nodar Dumbadze

Post Thu Nov 02, 2006 10:27 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
FattyFattyPorkFace



Joined: 10 Aug 2004
Posts: 6381
Location: Michigan
 Reply with quote  

lisa wrote:
Brilliant piece Jeff.


Thanks, lisa. Smile
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Twitter: jefftunes

Post Tue Feb 20, 2007 8:22 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
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