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Joined: 16 Apr 2004
Posts: 3423
Insanity  Reply with quote  

Every day I sit down at my desk, and for a few hours I try to tell stories and be funny. Every day I read and answer a bunch of e-mails from readers who tell me how much laughter they found in my books. Short of hearing people laugh, hearing that you made them laugh is the best. But the last few weeks I have been hard pressed to come up with anything funny to write down. Youíll even notice that the blog entries have been pretty scarce, and the last time this happened was in the six weeks following 911, when everything I did just seemed trivial in the face of the disaster. And Iím feeling it again because of the election.

Chris, you're right, the laughter you bring into our lives with your books is what brought us here. However, we would be very selfish if that's all we expected you to be...just a funny guy. You're more that just the guy who writes those crazy funny books, just like everyone of us on the board has many "faces". We shouldn't expect you to be "funny" everytime you post, that would just be one dimension of the person "Chris". You'd be a pretty shallow person if that was all you were. We wouldn't be hanging around here if that was the case.
So, give yourself a break. We can take the serious side.
Book: A garden carried in a pocket. Arabian Proverb

Post Tue Oct 26, 2004 5:32 am   View user's profile Send private message
Sara Leigh

Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 7385
Location: Virginia
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Ditto to what Lib said.

I find myself feeling rather desperate about what I'll do if Kerry doesn't win. It really puts a damper on everything, and it's almost impossible to avoid all the election crap in the media. Watch any news show this week, and it's going to be almost nothing but election crap. There will be the obligatory man's inhumanity to man regular news too, of course.

The one thing that I've found pretty amazing, though, is the variety of sources urging people to register and vote intelligently, to get past the rhetoric and look at what electing a certain someone will mean beyond just four more years of a moron in charge. I read a variety of magazines, geared to a variety of ages, mostly targeted at women. Vogue, Bazaar, Organic Style, Elle, More and Bust (For Women Who Have Something to Get Off Their Chests) have all run articles about how important it is for women to vote responsibly on issues of interest to women specifically and to the entire population. They just set forth the issues for readers to take into consideration and don't say Bush means this or Kerry means that, other than to note how rights in the area of women's health have been eroded over the past four years. I've read most of these magazines for a while, but particularly Vogue for well over 20 years. I don't remember seeing anything like that in an election year before. It's never been a very sexy topic, better left to the general media. But this year, everybody seems to know, it's different.

My only fear is that all the young voters (I mean those who have never had the opportunity to vote in a Presidential election) won't realize the importance of their individual vote -- not just this time, but in every election. I've been on Jane to get her absentee ballot. So when David went up for a visit this weekend, we printed out the application, addressed the envelope, and put a stamp on it so he could see that she takes care of it. She was thrilled to vote in the primary, and I know she understands the significance of the right and responsibility to vote, but time gets away from you when you're in college in the big city.

It's really hard to have a sense of humor right now. There's some serious shit going on.

We can read plenty of other hilarious stuff you've written, CM, when we need a good laugh right now. TSA was a real ray of sunshine, and it will bear rereading.

Post Tue Oct 26, 2004 6:11 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger

Joined: 07 Mar 2004
Posts: 1582
Location: Massachusetts
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And I'll third Lib and second Sara Leigh.

We've missed you around here, AG.

This next week is going to be nerve wracking and stressful, and there's just no getting away from it. It's sort of like a train wreck - I read all these political blogs (and yes, they lean to the left), and get angry. I tell myself to stop reading them and let my blood pressure go back to normal, but I don't want to be in the dark. I feel like I'm not really hearing things I don't already know (or suspect) - people trying to stop voters from casting their votes? Yeah, I sort of expected it. It pisses me off to no end, and I wonder why no one seems to be stepping up and stopping it. What, no protests? No judges saying "hey, cut the shit"?

I bet any of us here could stand on a podium and deliver talking points and spin for either party. Not that I'd ever be allowed in a debate audience, but in my little dream world, my question would begin with "Without resorting to any talking points, sound bites or spin, can you give us a real, true answer to..." But that would never happen.

Sara Leigh, I hope that this year, young people are realizing how important voting is. People have asked me if I'm going to bother voting - Kerry will win Massachusetts, so why bother? - and it makes me crazy. What if everyone who thought Kerry was a lock stayed home? I don't think he'd carry the state. Now mulitply that by the country. Ugh. And beyond that, there are other people on the ballots, other issues. I have some local reps to vote for. Or against.

It's going to be a long week. Take it easy, Chris. Try getting away from it a little - shut off the TV, block all websites except the board here, ask Charlee to hide the newspapers. Help her bake a pie (even if helping means sitting there watching and stealing spoonfuls of filling). Not that these help, really. But y'know. Pie is always good.
Well, I guess you left me with some feathers in my hand.

Post Tue Oct 26, 2004 6:44 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address ICQ Number

Joined: 02 Sep 2004
Posts: 2247
Location: Cambridge, Massachusetts
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Everytime I come on to the bulletin board I am doing so to look to see what you'll put on the wall, CM, that will get me laughing so hard they ask me to shsssh in the library. I have noticed when you haven't been visiting us (whimper and sigh).

That said, I live in Massachusetts, I am a Quaker and ours being a time honored tradition of social change (i.e. irritating people with our presence, which is great fun. Try it.) I have taken it upon myself to vote, involving myself in possible demonstrations amongst other Friends with peaceful civil disobedience on the second should the ballot boxes be tampered with AGAIN. My point being if you don't vote don't complain about who you get.

Post Tue Oct 26, 2004 6:44 am   View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 521
Location: Massachusetts
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At times like these I always remember what my Dad used to tell me whenever things looked particularly rough in my life;

"John, this too shall pass."

And you know what, he is right. After next week either the majority of the american people will have come to their senses and prevented the creeps from stealing another election or they haven't. Either Bush will be packing for Texas or entrenching himself furhther in the white house.

Either way we still have to believe that things will get better no matter who wins. If Kerry wins then we can all breathe a sigh of relief happy in the knowledge that the american people aren't all insane. If Bush wins, we can all look forward to our exciting new alternative lifestyle up in Canadia with Think Insane.

Seriously, though. I too, have a very bad feeling about this upcoming election and I know that if Bush wins again it will get me quite depressed. But if he does win, it can't last forever. As long as I can turn on the tv and see people making fun of Bush for using the word nukuler instead of nuclear or turn on the radio and hear Howard calling our president a liar and a deserter and a moron then I will have hope. For if people can still do that and not get into trouble then I will know that this is still the USA, where I take pride in the fact that I can call our president a jackass and not go to jail..
"Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy""

Post Tue Oct 26, 2004 7:15 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address

Joined: 08 Apr 2004
Posts: 101
Location: Minneapolis, MN
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Hey Chris...I'm sorry you're feeling unfunny & stressed over the election. I'm hoping that everyone votes for who they feel is best for the job and don't give in to pressure from either side. As far as the challenging at the polls goes, I think it's mostly in response to the story last week of the young man who was arrested (I believe it was in Ohio) for turning in fake voter registration cards. Mary Poppins was one of the many famous names he'd used. It turns out he'd been paid by some DFL organization to turn in cards. I'm sure they didn't tell him to falsify them, but I don't think it's right to pay to get people to vote. And I'm sure it's not happening with just the democrats.

ANYWAY...I, for some strange reason, still have confidence in the American people. We've been voting for 200+ years and we're still here and the best country in the world (in my opinion). The USA has been through some really crappy stuff - civil war, world wars, depression, but we always make it through. Besides, no matter who wins for President, they've still got Congress, the Senate and the American people to answer to. It'll be ok...really!

Don't worry about not being funny all the time. If you were I'd have a stomach ache from laughing continuously. I told a friend not to drink anything while reading SA or she'd have spit all over the book!

Karin walks out waving her American flag.
Practice safe eating...always use condiments.

Post Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:04 am   View user's profile Send private message
Katy O

Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Posts: 5127
Location: DFW Metroplex - TX
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I have two big fears right now. Either Bush will be elected again (or for the first time, depending on what you believe) and will lead us into more problems, or that he won't be elected and he'll come back here. I submit that if he loses, all the other 49 states have to draw straws to see who'll take him. We've already had him, thank you very much.

Post Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:47 am   View user's profile Send private message AIM Address

Joined: 30 Mar 2004
Posts: 1324
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"Many things may look bleak at the time of occurence, but at least we ain't got locusts." (That guy Jack Soo played on Barney Miller)

What I like most about Chris's post is not that they're funny -- although they are frequently very, very funny -- but something about their "take" on things. Whether he's funny or serious or anywhere in between, they are 100% "him", a very individual "take" on things, and a very human "take" on things.

Hey Chris, if you got something to say, don't worry about whether it's funny or not, not for my sake anyway. I'll be happy to read it whatever it is.

Oh, and the election? From where I sit, it looks almost as bad as a Canadian election, if you ask me.


John Palmer

(And that Pavlov metaphor in TSA just kills me!)

Post Tue Oct 26, 2004 9:50 am   View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 26 Sep 2004
Posts: 4
Location: Long Beach, CA
Tolerance and German People  Reply with quote  

I too have been 'shut down' by the coming election. I can't think and I can't get over the idea that despite this utterance by my mom: "We've survived every president so far, we'll survive whoever is elected this time" that this will not be the case. There's always a first time for everything, and I'm quaking a bit.

And although I am all for tolerance, I'm finding it difficult to muster any up. I pride myself on being able to put myself in other people's shoes, show some empathy, but I can't figure the Bush supporters out. Every time I think I've got it, it's just a string of negativities. I forget who above suggested it, but except for the Red Sox, I'm leaving the TV off.

Another thing that is putting the pressure on: I recently met some German students who are here in the LA area doing internships. They were all politically informed, intelligent and urbane. (Maybe it's those accents) They expressed their concern, as well as excitement at being here at this critical time in world politics. They showed a preference about who wins: Kerry over Bush and the Red Sox in six over the Cardinals. So not to make light - for all that I have to in order to get through the week - but between the Red Sox getting close (sick of the curse!) and the pressure of a world waiting to see if 2000 was an abberation, I think we're all entitled to flip out a bit. Maybe they should just pad America and hand out straitjackets. Sounds refreshing and bouncy.

Having said all that, I'm keeping my optimism, come hell or high water.

Thanks for reading, it was theraputic for me...
Mike deHilster
Long Beach, CA

ps- As this is my first ever post here, I would like to say hello to everyone, especially our wonderfully demented and nicely human host - Chris Moore!

Post Tue Oct 26, 2004 10:49 am   View user's profile Send private message
Site Admin

Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 3833
Location: People Republic of Northern California
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Hi Mike. Thanks for the input. Welcome.

Post Tue Oct 26, 2004 12:53 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website

Halloween coming, but that's not what scares me ...  Reply with quote  

CM ... great sentiments. I've felt a little hamstrung by all of it too. Halloween maybe happening this weekend but, truth be told, it's the election results that are coming that scare the shit out of me.

If it matters to any or all of you, vote ... and vote YOUR conscience, not theirs.

Post Tue Oct 26, 2004 5:23 pm   

Joined: 13 Apr 2004
Posts: 1767
Being from Massachusetts  Reply with quote  

My electoral votes are pretty much locked. But the rest of youz guys . . . get out there and make a difference, will ya?

CM - it'll get better. We must believe it'll get better.


Post Tue Oct 26, 2004 5:31 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Ferrit Leggings

Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Posts: 2658
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If it doesn't get better then we can go to Canada with Think I. Everything is happy and gay there. They have health insurance and Mounted Police. I just love having the people who protect me Mounted. It is so sexy.

(sorry TI, I had to do it)
I feel the same way about disco as I do about herpes. -HST

Post Tue Oct 26, 2004 5:43 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website

Joined: 11 Oct 2004
Posts: 31
Location: Appleton, WI
Check this out  Reply with quote  

I love how we didn't get about 80% of these quotes in the news from the states. About two-thirds in, focus on what it says about who wants Bush to get reelected. Remember, this was in the video.
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." -Galileo

Last edited by Seanfeiler1 on Wed Oct 27, 2004 9:40 pm; edited 1 time in total

Post Wed Oct 27, 2004 4:14 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger

Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Posts: 31
Location: WV
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I am glad to know I am not the only one feeling out of sorts. One of my duties at my job is to monitor the news (on giant 50 in screen TVs, so there is NO escape) I have heard just about all there is to hear about the elections. I cant remember ever having felt so despondent over politics. I used to look forward to the debates, the discussions and the commentaries. This year I am worn out. Worried not only about the outcome but the ensuing aftermath. We are going to see and hear so much about voter fraud, people not being allowed to vote etc. It upsets me that we think we can set up and run perfectly legit elections in other countries when we have a serious mess going on here. It is embarrassing and distressing on so many levels.

So say your prayers, meditate, or just sit quietly because I believe it wont stop after the elections. Just my pessimistic view.

I understand the meloncholy feeling and I second it.

Post Wed Oct 27, 2004 11:20 am   View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger
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