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My Canadian Dream...

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Nevermore26



Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Posts: 865
Location: Chicago, IL, USA
My Canadian Dream...  Reply with quote  

...is to have at least ONE of the 206 viewers of my post actually comment on it. Sad (begging, I know.) I know at least a few views are accidental clicks from people trying to respond to one of happymf's "fiction" posts. But one or two of you HAD to have read my post? I know I'm not the only compulsive reader here! Cool

Feedback needed! I know the plot is so full of holes it would make a screen door look like Hoover Dam, but it's the formatting, timing, dialogue, etc... that I would like criticism about. Thank you.

Nevermore...
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Post Sat Apr 05, 2008 1:55 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
urhangovergirl



Joined: 05 Feb 2008
Posts: 705
Location: center of the purple haze
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Laughing I know how you feel.

I read it but didn't comment because I know nothing about writing a screenplay, and all the things that would help you to develop your screen play.

I have books about it that I have yet to read tho, if you wanna borrow them. Razz
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Post Sat Apr 05, 2008 2:10 pm   View user's profile Send private message
Nevermore26



Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Posts: 865
Location: Chicago, IL, USA
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I have those books too. Mr. Green I haven't read them either...

Nevermore...
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We are born in an age when only the dull are treated seriously,
and I live in horror of not being misunderstood.
-Oscar Wilde

Post Sat Apr 05, 2008 2:53 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
mllefifi



Joined: 28 Jan 2006
Posts: 8964
Location: Deleoware
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Reading is highly overrated.
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Post Sat Apr 05, 2008 3:39 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address
zendao42



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 13570
Location: Somewhere in a galaxy near you
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I remember reading the post but not what I thought-
will have to re-read when time allows...

Got my own unread library, too! Wink

Post Sat Apr 05, 2008 11:20 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
walk



Joined: 19 Feb 2008
Posts: 3329
Location: sittin here on mah porch with dis here gun
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i liked it! it was funny and made fun of canadians! i can really only write science paper (and not very well Sad ) so i can't really give any valid feed back but yea i liked it. Very Happy
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Post Sun Apr 06, 2008 6:31 pm   View user's profile Send private message
Nevermore26



Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Posts: 865
Location: Chicago, IL, USA
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Thanks. Cool
_________________
We are born in an age when only the dull are treated seriously,
and I live in horror of not being misunderstood.
-Oscar Wilde

Post Tue Apr 08, 2008 12:48 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
beetleneck



Joined: 29 Apr 2008
Posts: 94
Location: Waterloooooooooooooo
Re: My Canadian Dream...  Reply with quote  

Nevermore26 wrote:
...is to have at least ONE of the 206 viewers of my post actually comment on it. Sad (begging, I know.) I know at least a few views are accidental clicks from people trying to respond to one of happymf's "fiction" posts. But one or two of you HAD to have read my post? I know I'm not the only compulsive reader here! Cool

Feedback needed! I know the plot is so full of holes it would make a screen door look like Hoover Dam, but it's the formatting, timing, dialogue, etc... that I would like criticism about. Thank you.

Nevermore...


Let me be point honest, the story stinks. As for the Canadian angle only you see it. Or have a warped idea about Canadians. Cops aren't allowed to be unshaven, and you can't get jailed for swearing. Besides Canadians can swear as bad any Yanks. Which is a whole new thread, what is with all this swearing ... today. It is disrespectful. ERRR my pet peeve.

Your screen writing pacing EXCELLENT easy to follow easy to see the characters. But there are a lot more camera directions and character notes, that go into writing a proper screen play. Good first try give you a B

Post Thu Jun 05, 2008 5:44 am   View user's profile Send private message
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