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12 Days of Christmas

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Watching The Wheels



Joined: 22 Dec 2007
Posts: 3412
Location: DC
12 Days of Christmas  Reply with quote  

    December 25th, 2008:
    On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me a partridge in a pear tree.
Denise: "This is a joke, right? No? I mean, it's a lovely tree and all, but I really don't have any room for it here in the apartment. And-- what the hell?! Did the tree just move?! Is that a bird living in it? Eww, gross!"


    December 26th, 2008:
    On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.
"Oh, great. Another tree? I'll just put this next to the other one, then? I appreciate the effort, but really, it's not you. It's me. Any other girl would love what you're doing for them... I just don't like pears or birds that much. Really."


    December 27th, 2008:
    ...Three French hens...
"What is this? Another tree? Was there a sale on pear trees? Did you get them cheap because they have partridges living in them? Actually, did you keep the receipts? I'm thinking I need to return everyth-- what? You can't return animals or plants? Awesome..."


    December 28th, 2008:
    ...Four calling birds...
"Okay, you know what? It's like three days after Christmas. This is getting a little creepy. Stop bringing me birds and trees. Seriously. "


    December 29th, 2008:
    ...Five golden rings...
"Oh, my... Now we're talking! Okay, okay, I get it. The other gifts were just gag gifts leading up to this one. These are very lovely. I just might forgive you for all the bir-- oh, you brought me ten more birds and a another tree. Fan-fucking-tastic. I'll just put them with other twenty birds."


    December 30th, 2008:
    ...Six geese a-laying...
"Yeah, you know those "gold" rings you got me yesterday? They've already started to turn green. Nice going, jerkwad. I'm beginning to reevaluate this whole 'true love' thing. I mean, we've only really only been dating for 3 months. Maybe we should start seeing other people? AND.ENOUGH.WITH.THE.BIRDS."


    December 31st, 2008:
    ...Seven swans a-swimming...
"WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING OBSESSION WITH BIRDS?! THIS ISN'T A GODDAMNED AVIARY! IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND SACRED, PLEASE STOP BRINGING ME FUCKING BIRDS!!"

    January 1st, 2009:
    ...Eight maids a-milking...
"I just want to have a peaceful New Years'. I can't take the fucking birds-- what's that? You don't have any birds this time? Promise? Okay, then. You can come in, but ple-- oh-- people? You got me people. Slavery has been abolished, has it? Did K-mart have a Black Friday deal on people? Wait. What's that behind the maids? IT'S MORE FUCKING BIRDS, LIAR!!!"


    January 2nd, 2009:
    ...Nine ladies dancing...
"Strippers? Really? You know what? I hate you. I really, really fucking hate you. Get out of my life."


    January 3rd, 2009:
    ...Ten lords a-leaping...
"STOP! STOP, STOP, STOP IT! Where in the hell did you find lords, anyway? And what are they doing? They're really disturbing the birds. Get them out of here now!!"


    January 4th, 2009:
    ...Eleven pipers piping...
"See this? This is a restraining order."


    January 5th, 2009
    ...Twelve drummers drumming...
"Mike Portnoy, Neil Peart, and Animal from the Muppets, you guys can stay. Everyone else, out!!"
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Post Fri Jan 09, 2009 9:00 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address
vampirelover



Joined: 15 Dec 2008
Posts: 566
Location: Hunter Mtn., NY
 Reply with quote  

Nice!!
I can't believe it took her so long to tell him "let's see other people" and then give him a restraining order!
Laughing
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~Amanda~

"I love you, even more than pie" -FOOL

Post Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:28 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
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