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Riddle me this ...

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Riddle me this ...  Reply with quote  

The Pope is going back into the hospital, and Jerry Falwell has just gone back in, in crictical condition ...

... which one passes through the Pearly Gates? Why or why not?

... And what date do you want in the Pools for each?
(People are actually wrestling over April 1st for Falwell, because of the redundancy).

Post Tue Mar 29, 2005 4:53 pm   

Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 3858
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Actually the thought of either one of those situations scares the crap out of me. I don't even want to think about it. I think I'll go in search of a yeti.

Post Wed Mar 30, 2005 8:44 am   View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 18 Jan 2005
Posts: 5197
Location: Michissippi
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The question reminds me of an old joke. A Unitarian dies and is surprised but not upset to find himself being welcomed through the proverbial pearly gates by a white-haired St. Peter. Peter offers to give him a guided tour of heaven. The Unitarian said "But St. Peter, while you're guiding me around, who'll let people into Heaven?"

"Fear not," says St. Peter, "with divine assistance all things are possible."

So off they go. Peter shows him almost everything - the dinosaur preserves, the great cathedrals, the raging seas, the sylvan gloves, lions lying down with the lamb, choruses of angels and cherubim - everything you'd expect from Heaven. Much to the Unitarians delight, there are churches, synagogues, mosques, and other places of worship that the Unitarian can't identify.

But every now and then they encounter a building with a closed door. "Be quiet as we pass by here," St. Peter would say, and they'd tiptoe past the door and into the distance.

After the third or fourth time this happened, the Unitarian just had to ask. "St. Peter," he says, "why do we have to be quiet when we pass those places? And why can't we go in? Is there something special about them?"

"Special? In a way, yes. One of those buildings is the Baptists, another is the Orthodox Jews, and so forth. Everybody inside believes they're the only ones here."

Post Wed Mar 30, 2005 3:19 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Why Chromosome

The Friends you keep ...  Reply with quote  

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying
the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been
dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one
side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a
long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the
arch that looked like mother of pearl, and the street that led
to the gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he
saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he
called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water
brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the
traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road
and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill,
he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked
as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against
a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there." The man pointed to a
place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the
gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump
with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself,
then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the
man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," was the answer.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said......"The man down
the road said that was Heaven, too?"

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates?
Nope. That's Hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy
that they screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends

Post Thu Mar 31, 2005 5:24 pm   
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