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Favorite sex scene I have ever written...

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Boota



Joined: 09 Apr 2004
Posts: 830
Location: Kokomo, Indiana
Favorite sex scene I have ever written...  Reply with quote  

*Fair Warning - graphic language*

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This is my favorite sex scene that I have ever written. It is the only sex scene in my novel, Mr. Undesirable. This excerpt is from Chapter 16, section 3. The section is entitled, "Bride of Ratfuck". Enjoy.
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The house still had an oppressive feel to it, even with my new little buddy, so I grabbed a book and a lounge chair from out of the garage and sat in the front yard reading in the warm sun. Ratfuck rolled in the grass and ran around a little, but he was an older dog, so he mostly just sat there by my side, modeling his spiffy new collar, and apparently putting out the vibe, because that’s when she came along.

The she in question was a dog even uglier than Ratfuck. I had never seen any breed of dog that looked like her. The best way to describe it is to think of what might happen if a weasel fucked a dustmop.

The girl dog was silvery gray with long fur on its face and chest and its stubby little legs. The body kind of reminded me of a Dachshund, but more serpentine looking. The face resembled a fuller, furrier Benji with a topknot. There was a leash dragging from its collar.

I ignored the little dog and kept to my reading as it sniffed around my front yard. Johnny Goodboy Tyler was about to stick it to the evil alien Terl, and I wasn’t about to let an ugly little dog ruin my story time. Ratfuck, on the other hand, had his interest piqued and walked over and stuck his snout right up the smaller dog's ass. So I put my book down, wanting to make sure that they weren’t going to fight. Try that same maneuver in a bar and all hell would break loose.

It became quickly apparent that fighting was not what either of the dogs had in mind. Ratfuck took the lead, like a true romantic, and began putting it to the little bitch in a way that would have made Ron Jeremy proud. No preamble, no drinks or dinner. Just a quick nudge of the nose and “let me introduce you to my little friend”.

I smiled, picked my book back up and let the happy couple have their fun.

The next time I looked up there was a small, middle aged woman trying to pull Ratfuck off of his girlfriend and he was trying to bite the interfering woman. I can’t say that I blamed him either. If she had tried to pull me off of a woman in mid-hump I’d bite her, too.

“Stop it! Get off of her!” the woman shouted in a panic. Then to me, “Get him off of her!”

I put my bookmark between two fairly exciting pages and walked over to the scene of the crime. As soon as the woman quit pulling on Ratfuck’s hindquarters he lost interest in what she was doing back there and went back to slamming the ham in earnest. I could tell he was digging it from the way his tongue lolled stupidly out of the side of his mouth.

“Stop them! He’s ruining her!” the woman yelled in my face.

“I saw him trying to bite you, I’m not about to stick my hands down there,” I said calmly. “They’ll be done soon.”

“No, you idiot! They can’t… finish! She’s a champion!”

“Well, she’s sure taking it like a champ right now,” I joked.

The woman didn’t think it was funny. She dropped down beside the two copulating dogs and stared worriedly into her dog’s face. “It’s okay, Princess! Mommy’s here! Mommy’s here! Is he hurting you?”

“Oh fucking Christ!” I said under my breath, laughing. She was one of those people. The kind who live vicariously through the accomplishments of their show dogs. The kind who treat them like they are their children. This started out being funny, but now I found it fucking hilarious. I decided to cheer for my side as well.

“Go, boy! Go Ratfuck! Nail that little bitch! You know she wants it!” I shouted, giving a few grunts and a few pantomimed pelvic thrusts in the air. “Take it all, Princess! Unh! Unh! Take it all!”

I looked down into the woman’s horrified face. “You sick, sick man!”

“Lighten up, lady. She’ll be okay,” I said, changing tactics. I tried to be the voice of reason. “Look, what’s done is done. Let them finish and take her home. It’s not worth getting bitten over.”

“You don’t understand! He’s ruining her!” she shouted in even more exaggerated alarm this time.

“Relax, I’m telling you. Dogs have been doing this for years. It’s what they do. Eat, fuck, shit, and sleep. They’re dogs,” I said, feeling like I was explaining the facts of life to a brick wall. “In fact, they’re so good at it even we humans have adapted their technique.”

The woman’s face went blank with shock and incredulity. She stared at me for a moment and then asked, “What is wrong with you?”

I assumed it was a rhetorical question.

“You get your dog off right now!” The woman roared, her shock and incredulity giving way to a new wave of anger. “Get him off!”

About that time Ratfuck started to speed his pumping and make low growling sounds.

“Don’t worry. I think he’ll be getting off on his own shortly.”

“No!” she screamed, grabbing Ratfuck’s tail and trying to pull him away from her little Princess. All she succeeded in doing was dragging the rutting pair across my front yard. Princess yelped and her owner let go of my dog’s tail once she realized that she was hurting her own dog. Ratfuck didn’t bother turning to bite her. He was focused, eyes on the prize.

“No!” the woman screamed again.

And then it was over.

No moans, no trembling, no money shot.

Ratfuck just stood up and walked away, leaving Princess lying there on the ground. He had the attitude of, “There is cab fare on the nightstand. Show yourself out.”

The woman grabbed her little dog up in her arms and stormed off down Dennings Drive, deeper into the heart of Rambling Hills. She didn’t say anything else as she walked away, but somehow I knew I would be hearing from her again.
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I decided to post this because the other day I got two separate pieces of mail that had pictures of dogs in it. These people named their dogs Ratfuck in honor of my main character's dog. I thought that was pretty damn cool.
Smile
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"We went together like Kennedys and head wounds."--Lenny Kapowski

Post Wed Jan 19, 2005 1:12 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
kindlady



Joined: 14 Feb 2005
Posts: 4
Location: Mid-Atlantic US
 Reply with quote  

This is disgusting. I love it.
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If I weren't so damn sleep I would think of something really witty and pertinent, but I have to have instant gratification, so rather than wait and think something up tomorrow I'm posting this now.

Post Mon Feb 14, 2005 9:31 pm   View user's profile Send private message
Boota



Joined: 09 Apr 2004
Posts: 830
Location: Kokomo, Indiana
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Thanks kindlady. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Smile
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"We went together like Kennedys and head wounds."--Lenny Kapowski

Post Tue Feb 15, 2005 4:13 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
RedOrcaMoon



Joined: 17 Jun 2005
Posts: 2399
Location: someplace...probably inside my head or in another world
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Very Happy I loved it!!!!!!
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current pics: drawings and some photos. http://www.dizzyhellfire.deviantart.com

Post Sat Jun 18, 2005 11:06 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
sgt_steve



Joined: 18 Jan 2005
Posts: 5197
Location: Michissippi
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Super, just super.

Let us know when the pups are available for adoption, OK?

Post Mon Jun 20, 2005 5:43 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
jaandlu



Joined: 17 Apr 2005
Posts: 4578
Location: Location, location, location.
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"The best way to describe it is to think of what might happen if a weasel fucked a dustmop."


That's F'ing hysterical.
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I honestly never thought I would live this long. Now I don't know what to do with myself.

Post Sat Jun 25, 2005 3:53 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Boota



Joined: 09 Apr 2004
Posts: 830
Location: Kokomo, Indiana
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The longest bit of research I did for Mr. U was looking for the perfect ugly dog for this scene. When I found the Dandie Dinmont terrier I knew that my search was over. At first I wasn't even sure which end was which in the picture they had on the website I was on.
_________________
"We went together like Kennedys and head wounds."--Lenny Kapowski

Post Sat Jul 09, 2005 10:34 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
jaandlu



Joined: 17 Apr 2005
Posts: 4578
Location: Location, location, location.
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Ok so I just reread this because I'm at work and had to do something. Then my boss called in the middle of it and I was trying to contain my laughter, but alas no. My boss knew right away I was on the verge of loosing it. I think I find this funny because I grew up in Modesto(yeah, home of Scott Peterson and Gary Conduct) and I know people like the main character. And the dogs name is Ratfuck. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Very Happy

Ja
_________________
I honestly never thought I would live this long. Now I don't know what to do with myself.

Post Sun Jul 10, 2005 11:11 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Boota



Joined: 09 Apr 2004
Posts: 830
Location: Kokomo, Indiana
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I just got another pic in the mail of someone's new puppy. It's a little yellow mutt and they named it Ratfuck. So, now I'm indirectly responsible for naming fourteen different dogs that name. LOL. I love it.

I might have to consider a Ratfuck stuffed toy if this thing gets popular. Smile
_________________
"We went together like Kennedys and head wounds."--Lenny Kapowski

Post Sun Jul 17, 2005 8:37 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
jaandlu



Joined: 17 Apr 2005
Posts: 4578
Location: Location, location, location.
 Reply with quote  

I would buy a Ratfuck doll in a heart beat.

Ja
_________________
I honestly never thought I would live this long. Now I don't know what to do with myself.

Post Sun Jul 17, 2005 11:23 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Guest





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That would beat the heck outa Walter the Farting Dog for sure.

Great piece of work dude.

Post Tue Jul 19, 2005 1:42 pm   
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