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The Bus, with a little help from friends

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stazy



Joined: 27 Apr 2005
Posts: 372
The Bus, with a little help from friends  Reply with quote  

The Bus

All righty, on the bus. Walkman secured, I am firmly in my own little bubble. The heavy scent of whiskey arrives on the bus. A few seconds later, its harbringer arrives. A small, slight man wearing a suit that appears oddly oily. One arm is in a sling and he is wearing a felt hat, with a feather perched jauntily. Hmmmm, I lower my headphones slightly. Immediately, I am rewarded--
"Ladies and gentleman, my name is Pimp Daddy Bone."
Oh yes, can't lose with this one. Off come the headphones.
"Today, I got shot in the arm."
You, and only you are going to make all this worthwhile.
"Imagine, a man shot another man in the arm."
Yes, you will be what allieviated the crowding, the filth, the germs I will have to Baby Wipe off as soon as I leave this bus.
"What kind of world is it where another man shoots another man in the arm?"
I think this is going to make up for my desire to Lysol the bus seat before sitting.
"Just because he found me in bed with his wife."
Yup, this makes up for the unhealthy Lysol problem.
"What kind of world is it when a man shoots another man just because he found him in bed with his wife?"
I believe I love this man.
"I mean, we was just having sex."
That's it, I am getting up and kissing him on his little drink loosened mouth.
"Anyone can have sex with any of my wives."
Hmmm, perhaps not.
"I mean, they're all whores anyways."
Most assuredly not.
"But you know what I always say......."
Every single passenger is hanging on his every word, he is our 31 Balboa messiah.
"I don't care if she's sweet as honey, as long as she's got the money."
Okay, now that's a little bit.....
"I don't care if she's got a rash, just as long as she's got the cash."
Dear. Heavens.
At this point, he has stopped addressing the bus and has begun telling quiet dirty jokes. I am disappointed. However, just as I am about to get off at my stop,
"You're a pretty girl."
"Thank you."
"Wrong color, though." A little pale, yes, but completely wrong? How interesting, I must mention to dear old Dad that his lack of pigmentation has made me incorrect. Oh well, dreams of romance are fleeting, in any case.
I stagger of the bus holding my sides, at the same time as a young man about my age. We burst into hysterical laughter clinging to the bus station railing.
"Ohgodohgod, that was wonderful."
"Did you..he had a chicken bone with bits of meat stuck in his hat."
We are both laughing so hard we can barely stand up. We bid each other goodbye and I dig out a Baby Wipe. Ew, can you believe I was touching the bus station railing?

2005

Sat Sep 03, 2005 7:31 am

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