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Elliot



Joined: 30 Mar 2004
Posts: 1676
Location: Seattle
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Part 1 of 17

“Kelly!” Frank screamed running down the dark alley. It reaked of piss and and mold with a faint stench of strawberries. “Kelly!”

Frank is a tall, lanky man who almost looks like he’s been put together by toothpicks. His balding scalp felt a cool breeze blowing down the alley. His long delicate fingers clutched at his naked chest just above his gaping wound. He felt himself slipping, the world going dark, his knobby knees going weak. He collapsed at the end of the alley with his head poking out in the sidewalk. He clutched his ribs and rolled on his side. There’s no stopping the bleeding. The wound was cut so deep that he’s surprised Kelly didn’t rip his heart out, physically, cause she’d already done it metaphorically. “Kelly!” he screams one more time and then whispers almost too faintly for anyone to hear, “You’re such a fucking bitch.” He rolled on his side and brought his knees to his chest. It’s there, in the fetal position, that he dies.
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Elliot



Joined: 30 Mar 2004
Posts: 1676
Location: Seattle
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Part 2 of 17

“Man she’s cute,” Larry said. “I mean, well, she has nice boobs.” Larry’s a small guy, not very well built, but in no ways fat. He’s an average height with dark blonde hair, and blue eyes. His complextion begs for the name pizza face, and his face looks twice it’s age. “And look at that butt!” At the ripe old age of 26, everyone’s so surprised he’s never been touched by a woman. “I’d like to just ride her all night long!” well not that surprised.

“Dude!” his friend Adam was sitting in the drivers seat. He has the same characteristics as Larry only better built. Married, 2 kids, and a successful job. He met Larry in high school and has been trying to get him laid since they were juniors in high school.

“What? It’s not like she can hear me.”

“The windows are down.” Larry’s face turned bright red and he slouched to the point where he couldn’t see over the dashboard. He murmured something. “What?” Adam Said.

“Drive Away.”

“Why should I?”

“Please?”

“So I hear I have nice boobs?” Larry looked up and saw a plush set of double D’s poking through the car window with the face of an angel somehow resting above them.

Larry threw his hands over his face and said, “I told you to drive away.” Bits of lobster red showed through the gaps of his fingers.

“I think my friend has a crush on you.” Adam said almost chuckling. “He’s Larry.”

Still with one hand over his face Larry offered his hand and said in a high pitched squeal, “hi.” As hard as it is to believe, his face turned a bit redder when nice boob lady shook hands with him.

“Nice to meet you Larry.”

“We were just heading to dinner, want to join us?” Adam had all the confidence of an underwear model.

“Only if this cutie here stops hiding from me.”

“Drive away!” Larry said. “Please. I’ll pay you.”

“Stop it!” Adam Said while pleasantly busty lady giggled. “Sit up or I’m kicking you out with her on the side of the road.”

Larry sighed and sat up straight in his seta. He set both his his hands by his side and gave Adam the I-hate-you look. He turned back to look back at the nice set of double d’s. Little Higher he thought to himself. He looked into her eyes and she nearly lost her breath.

“Awwwwwww! You are so cute!” Every syllable she spoke seemed to poke and prod at poor Larry’s heart.

“You just wait til the blushing goes down.” Larry said softly. “Then you can see me in all my zitty glory.”

Adam slapped him on the shoulder. Larry knew what that meant. It was the, Dude-shes-hot-don’t-fuck-this-up slap. “Hop in.” Adam said.

“OK!” Busty smiled and turned to open the back door as Larry stared at her ass. Both Larry and Adam gawked in the rearview mirror as she hopped in the back seat and her breasts jiggled. She noticed the two and slightly stroked her cleavage with her middle finger. Larry shunned himself almost immediately and thought of baseball.

“What’s your name?” Adam asked.

“What’s wrong with nice boobs?” Larry asked.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” Both guys said almost instantly going to the position of attention in their seats.

She giggled again. “You guys are too much.” She leaned forward. “My name is Kelly.”

“Hey Adam, Do you smell Strawberries?”
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Elliot



Joined: 30 Mar 2004
Posts: 1676
Location: Seattle
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Larry woke up in pure unadulterated pain. The fresh wound with the sharp sting of ice made his eyes water. The weight of the ice on his chest made him feel as if he couldn’t breathe, but he had to move. He turned his head and noticed that he was in a bathroom. He twisted and heaved himself up on his side. He looked across the bathroom and noticed another tub full of ice with the head of his friend Adam peeping out like a stupid early worm. “Adam,” he said, “Adam,” he repeated. “Adam you better not be dead. Adam.” Larry winced as he shifted and pulled one of his arms free of the ice. Breathing heacy, he was surprised that was such a work out. He grabbed an ice cube and lobbed it towards Adam. It landed a good three feet away from his tub and seven feet from Adam. “Adam,” he whimpered. “Get up you son of a bitch! You still have to get me laid!” He lobbed another cube and it bounced off the edge of Adam’s tub. “C’mon! Adam! Wakey Wakey!” He lobbed another cube and it struck an inch from Adam’s temple.

“Huh, What? How?” Adam jolted awake and scanned the bathroom. Then he saw Larry.

“Hey Buddy, How are you?” That was Larry for you he could have been shoulder deep in ice with a bleeding gash from lower rib to belly button and he’d still greet you with a smile and ask how you are.

“You!” Adam said, “This is all your fault!”

“What? How is this my fault?”

“How is this my fault?” Adam mimicked. “I told you we shouldn’t have gone to Hooters!”

“I happen to like their wings. And what about you? If I remember correctly I told you to drive away!”

“No you didn’t!”

“Yes I did!”

“Nuh uh!”

“Uh huh!”

Adam wriggled his arm out of the ice and chucked it at Larry. It too landed three feet from his tub, but he did something different. He let out a long, almost blood curdling scream and Larry’s face went pale. Adam’s arm dangled like limp spaghetti out of a pot.

Larry had heard a scream like that before. Adam’s arm had been at least dislocated if not broken. Larry took in a deep breath. “Adam, I’m scared.”

“I know, I am too.”

“Well well well. Look who’s up.” Kelly said leaning against the door jam. She was only wearing a thong that read “Thursday” which either meant that Laryy and Adam had been out for three days or she was one nasty ho.

Larry began to chuckle looking at her upside down with blood rushing to his head.

“What’s so funny?” Larry said a little perturbed.

Larry chuckled even more and said, “Boobs.”
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Post Tue Sep 06, 2005 1:41 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Elliot



Joined: 30 Mar 2004
Posts: 1676
Location: Seattle
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“What can I get you?” the bobbly headed blonde hooters barmaid asked.

Larry stared. Directly into her tits and said, “I’ll have the chicken boobs and two large jugs o’ milk.”

“I’m sorry what?”

Adam Jabbed Larry in the side.

“I’ll have the chicken wings with twol large cokes. Why? What did I say?”

Adam rolled his eye. “I’ll have a miller draft and a BBQ burger.”

“Do you have any strawberries?” Kelly asked. “I love strawberries.”

“I’m sorry.” The waitress said. “We were supposed to get a shipment in today but our delivery guy never showed up. He’s probably out with his new girlfriend.”

Kelly’s face turned sorrowful. “oh well. I’ll just have a salad for now.”

The waitress scribbled down the orders and nearly skipped back to the kitchen. Larry watched every buttock wiggle and hop along the way.

“Larry!” Adam said as he kicked Larry hard in the shins.

Larry jumped smacking his knee into the table top. “Oww! What the hell was that about?”

Adam’s head bobbed towards Kelly. Larry’s eyes got lost in her cleavage. “So what is it you do, Adam?” Kelly asked with her head turned adam’s way while her spaghetti strap tank top pointed towards Larry. She’d played this game way too many times before.

“I’m in real estate.” Adam said, he flashed his wedding band. “And happily married.”

She turned to Larry. “What about y-“ was all she got out. Larry was sitting there making grouping motions six inches from her boobs. She smiled and juggled them for him. He was too easy. He woulda hopped to her house with only a single wooden peg for a set of legs.

“Larry.” Adam said, “I have to go to the bathroom, don’t you?”

“Not really, have fun!” Larry said drooling over her breasts.

“You sure?”

Kelly was massaging her breasts and licking her lips, practically having sex with Larry right there in the hooters. She had him wrapped around her little finger. Adam grabbed him by his collar and dragged him to the bathroom. The whole time, Larry grinning like a kid at the circus.
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Post Tue Sep 06, 2005 3:27 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Elliot



Joined: 30 Mar 2004
Posts: 1676
Location: Seattle
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Kelly’s slender legs strolled on by Larry’s ever growing libido. She turned and bent over to put Adam back in the tub. “If I told you, you had a beautiful ass would you hold it against me?”

Both Adam and Kelly gave Larry the scowling of a lifetime. “Dude?” Adam said.

“What?”

“The windows are down.”

Larry’s whole body blushed and sunk back into the ice as far as he could without assistance, which was about two inches.

Adam tried as hard as he could to concentrate on Kelly’s face. He wasn’t used to bare breasts bobbing above his head that didn’t belong to his wife. “What are you going to do with us?” he said.

“My mothership isn’t far away. I need to collect your organs so we can build a super race of human/alien mutants to destroy you so we can take the earth as our own.”

“Hey while you’re at it,” Larry said, “Could you clone Pamela Anderson with the fake implants and everything?” The stare shot in Larry’s direction might as well have been made of ice picks and lasers. “I’m going to die anyways. Might as well die with pleasant thoughts in my head.”

“So what are we really here for?”

“Milk and Cookies!” Kelly smiled.

“OO! OO! I want some!” Larry sounded like a kindergardener at recess.

“Larry, Window.”

Larry shut up.

“I’m just waiting for hank to get here to see if your organs are acceptable. If they aren’t you’re free to go.”

“What if they are?”

Kelly turned and stepped over to Larry in the other tub. “What of they are?” Adam repeated.

Kelly began to scoop the ice from behind Larry. “Oh baby yeah. That’s the spot.” Kelly took one of the handfuls of ice and shoved it down Larry’s throat.

“What if they are?”

“Eh wha I hey ah?” Larry mumbled.

“Don’t you worry your pretty little heads about it?” She kissed each man on the cheek and sashead out of the bathroom.

Both guys sat in silence for a long time as Larry swallowed down the melted ice. Thinking about their mortality and how much of it was left, Larry said, “Hey dude,” Adam turned his head and looked at Larry. “She kissed me.”
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