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Chain Story 4: Pie Harder
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zevon



Joined: 14 Oct 2005
Posts: 761
Location: SoCal
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NodakFiddler wrote:
. . . "you have to give the twelve midgets blow jobs. Or hand jobs, your choice. After the dozen short guys are satisfied (and they must be satisfied), you will have one more thing to do before you gain immortality which is to . . ."


"Stop right there!", Buck exclaimed.
For there had been one godforsaken evening when he had been so desperate for the dwarves' cobbler recipe that he would have done anything for it, and in fact, did. But never trust a midget, or a monkey, for that matter...
"If, in fact, one had already done certain things that had been previously dicussed as requirements, then would one need to do them again?" he asked.
"Hell no, you simp!", replied Granny.
"OK", said Buck.
"Next!" ...

Post Wed Oct 26, 2005 11:15 am   View user's profile Send private message
Regina



Joined: 02 Mar 2005
Posts: 952
Location: Northeast U.S
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[quote="zevon"]
NodakFiddler wrote:
. . . ""Hell no, you simp!", replied Granny.
"OK", said Buck.
"Next!" ...


"Next...." Uncle Thomas, beady little bat eyes blinked and his statement trailed off into a a series of squeaks.

Buck tapped his foot impatiently, "Well? What's the third thing?"

Tom sighed, "I can't remember right now. Before I used the family secrets of immortality, I was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. It's why I took the steps to do this. I still get foggy once in a while, but it will come back to me, eventually. What was I talking about?"

Uncle Thomas scratched his head while Buck took hold of a rolling pin....

Post Thu Oct 27, 2005 11:10 am   View user's profile Send private message
zevon



Joined: 14 Oct 2005
Posts: 761
Location: SoCal
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...rolling pin.

Granny had never been a pro wrestler, but she had dated a handful.
OK, maybe a few handfuls if truth be told, in fact, Granny was an ex WWA groupie. Recognizing a potential disaster , she quickly leaped in the air and threw a monster leg scissors around Buck's neck, twisted her hips, and flipped him ass over elbows. Buck lost control of the rolling pin, and it endo'd four or five times and caught Tom square between the running lights. Buck and Granny landed in a tangled heap with perfectly harmonized "Oooomphs!" and the kitchen slipped into unconsciousness...

Post Thu Oct 27, 2005 2:17 pm   View user's profile Send private message
Regina



Joined: 02 Mar 2005
Posts: 952
Location: Northeast U.S
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Buck and Granny landed in a tangled heap with perfectly harmonized "Oooomphs!" and the kitchen slipped into unconsciousness and out of God's ear where Buck's pie baking headquarters had dug itself in like a scabies mite. The fact that the kitchen with Buck, Granny and a now lifeless Tom had just fallen out of God's ear wasn't so terrible (they would no longer be gazing at skies with a crusty, yellowish hue) except that they landed...

Post Thu Nov 03, 2005 2:57 pm   View user's profile Send private message
zevon



Joined: 14 Oct 2005
Posts: 761
Location: SoCal
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Regina wrote:
Buck and Granny landed in a tangled heap with perfectly harmonized "Oooomphs!" and the kitchen slipped into unconsciousness and out of God's ear where Buck's pie baking headquarters had dug itself in like a scabies mite. The fact that the kitchen with Buck, Granny and a now lifeless Tom had just fallen out of God's ear wasn't so terrible (they would no longer be gazing at skies with a crusty, yellowish hue) except that they landed...


...face down in a tremendous puddle of bat spooge. Tom had developed quite a rolling pin fetish, and when he'd seen Buck grab ahold, he just couldn't control himself. Coming to, and possibly fro, as it were, Tom saw the mess and knew Granny and Buck were within seconds of drowning. Panic stricken, he swooped over to Granny and dug his claws into her good ear, while stretching over to bite Buck on the back of the neck. With dual screams, the pair awoke violently, and Tom was catapulted through the air like a hairy water ballooon....

Post Fri Nov 04, 2005 1:02 pm   View user's profile Send private message
zevon



Joined: 14 Oct 2005
Posts: 761
Location: SoCal
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Tom bounced off the faux chandelier and plummeted back toward two out of three generations of fucktardedness with alarming speed. He somehow managed to elude the flurry of hands and missives being hurled at him and fluttered to a stop just out of Granny's reach. From the corner of his eye he saw Buck going for the rolling pin again, and somehow managed to collect himself long enough to pierce the air with his suddenly too familiar siren call.
Both Granny and Buck froze and held their ears as though their brains might seep out if they let go. When Tom thought they'd had enough, he ratcheted down the level and the three of them stared at each other in the uncomfortable silence.
"Now if you two window lickers wouldn't mind," Tom said, "I've remembered the third thing... "

Post Mon Nov 07, 2005 3:18 pm   View user's profile Send private message
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