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Reasons why I should worry - Part One: Nicknames

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FattyFattyPorkFace



Joined: 10 Aug 2004
Posts: 6381
Location: Michigan
Reasons why I should worry - Part One: Nicknames  Reply with quote  

(Not really fiction as such...)

In the past month or so I have acquired the following nicknames:-
· Fatty Fatty Pork Face
· Porky
· Girly boy
· Slow

Do any of these sound remotely flattering? No. Do they sound potentially attractive? No. Do they inspire anyone to want to spend anytime whatsoever in getting to know me? I doubt it.

I understand that it is partly my fault. I told too many people. I know that. But is that a fair reason for the evolution and re-use of these nicknames? I mean, what next…Slow boy? Porky Slow? Fatty Fatty Slow Pork? Or maybe even Fatty Girly Pork Face Slow Boy…just to appease everyone but me. I personally would prefer names like Coolness or maybe Rockstar…I could cope with that…I could even cope with Hot Rockstar (hard to believe, I know)…but Fatty Girly Pork Face Slow Boy (FGPFSB for short)? Come on, I have feelings.

If the world has an unquenched need to dish out nicknames, can’t we strive to at least make them fun for everyone (or at least me)? I realise I have said all my life that I’ve never had a nickname that stuck…I know I wanted one so bad it hurt sometimes…but to then be offered these choices? Did I do something wrong? Did I spit in your cat’s face and run over the little old lady next door? I don’t recall doing.

At the end of the day…I’ve decided, I already have a nickname that is good enough for me. It’s Jeff. Use it. Abuse it. Wear it out. At least it won’t make me cry myself to sleep at night with the thought that no girl will ever be able to build a relationship with someone who’s friends refer to as Fatty Girly Pork Face Slow Boy.
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Twitter: jefftunes

Post Thu Aug 12, 2004 4:04 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
mister



Joined: 05 Jul 2004
Posts: 301
Location: brooklyn
if you can manage it...  Reply with quote  

find a way to get nicknamed "Space Management". Then ride that sucker for as long as you can.

Talk about carte blanche justification.
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"Methaphors are not to be trifled with."

Post Fri Aug 13, 2004 11:24 pm   View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
Fairydust



Joined: 23 Aug 2004
Posts: 28
 Reply with quote  

When I was in secondary school I was nicknamed Roach by kid whose name was Cocaine. Can't get any worse than that.
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If you can't find a friend make one.

Post Sat Sep 18, 2004 7:45 pm   View user's profile Send private message
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