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The Make Hillary Stop Tinkering Thread
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When will Hill stop tinkering?
As soon as she sees this thread
6%
 6%  [ 1 ]
In a week
12%
 12%  [ 2 ]
In a month
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
NEVER, you Pinko Commie!
81%
 81%  [ 13 ]
Total Votes : 16

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Lauren



Joined: 07 Mar 2004
Posts: 1582
Location: Massachusetts
The Make Hillary Stop Tinkering Thread  Reply with quote  

Okay, I'll be kind and say she called it done in a thread on 8/15, where she mentioned cutting 20K words, so she's only two days "finished". But somewhere out there is an older thread where she said it was done, and CM responded with "You're done. Now go do something else."

I'll go hunting for it later on, but if anyone wants to find it and link to it, go nuts, and I'll adjust the date and lateness accordingly.

(edit from the harpy: I found it. See here. That was July 28th. So, the new count is Twenty days overdue.)

She is done. The books is done, and now she is really just tinkering. She's like the mom who hugs her kid way too long before letting him get on the bus on the first day of school. It's time to let it go, let me go through it, let someone else she trusts go through it, THEN go back and revise, and get the damn query letters out.

Who's with me?
_________________
Well, I guess you left me with some feathers in my hand.


Last edited by Lauren on Tue Aug 17, 2004 10:25 am; edited 1 time in total

Post Tue Aug 17, 2004 6:11 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address ICQ Number
Tal



Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 1692
Location: Not Massachusetts
 Reply with quote  

*holds bannana like a gun*

Right Hillary turn over the manuscript of I'll be forced to peel it.
_________________
"Doug's okay." - Deb.

Post Tue Aug 17, 2004 6:52 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Hillary



Joined: 13 Apr 2004
Posts: 1767
PART ONE  Reply with quote  

Once upon a time there was a merciless harpy named Lauren. Merciless Harpy Lauren was a sad individual who lured small children to her candy covered gingerbread house in order to feast upon their young flesh.

She was kind of a bitch that way.

One day, Lauren spied through her window a delicate lady picking daisies in a pasture. The harpy licked her reptilian lips, a cold gleam in her hazel eyes. "Ooh look. It's Pretty Princess Hillary, and she is picking flowers. Let me lure her into my house to put her in a pie!" So Lauren screeched at her minions to attend, and one by one they arrived to carry out their dark mistresses bidding.

The first of the motley bunch was Tal, the highest in the order of Demonkind serving the harpy queen. Under one arm, he held a cat - a black cat, because he really liked black cats (he was a demon) - and under the second arm, he held a banana, pointing it like a gun.

"Tal! You have come to me first!" The harpy said with a smile. "You shall be rewarded for your service!"

"BANG BANG" Tal replied, shooting at her with the banana. "BANANA MAKE GOOD GUN."

"Yes, Tal. That's nice. Now I want you to go lure that delicate princess - the one with the flowing locks and rosy cheeks - into the house. For she needs to be in a pie!"

"BANG BANG!" (Which in Tal speak, meant 'okee dokee boss'). And the dark minion shuffled off to carry out his task.

Merciless Harpy Lauren watched through the window, an evil smile twisting her lips into crooked lines. Tal was her most sacred servant - first among the black throng - and surely would succeed.

"BANG BANG" Tal muttered, descending upon the pasture.

"What was that you said kind sirrah?" Called the pretty princess named Hillary, with a voice so sweet that birds perched on her shoulder.

"BANG!" Tal yelled with a menacing grin, weilding the banana like an AK47. He threw the black cat at her for good measure.

The pretty princess neatly sidestepped the screeching feline, dropping her flowers onto the ground. Her hands found their way to her hips. "Now that wasn't very nice. Look what you did to Mister Kitty."

"BANG BANG?"

"Yes, he's a very sad Mister Kitty."

"Bang. bang bang." Tal shook his head, the guilt of throwing his beloved pet too much for him to bear. A single tear glistened at the corner of his eye.

"Oh now, don't you fret. As soon as kitty loses his concussion, he'll be fine. Don't you worry."

Tal nodded his head, a watery smile spreading across his demon face. "Bang. bang bang. GOOD KITTY."

"You're welcome. Now collect your feline and be off. And don't take any wooden nickels!" Pretty Princess Hillary said in her singsong voice. She watched the servant collect his cat, stroking its silky head with silly crooning noises. He ambled away from the pasture - away from Evil Harpy Lauren's house - before peeling the banana and inserting it into his gullet.

"CURSES!" Lauren shouted, shaking her gnarled fist at the heavens. "She has foiled my plans! But this is not over. There are other minions. I will call them to me, and they shall succeed where Tal has failed. I am unstoppable . . . "

And so Lauren waited for others to hear her call.

And so, too, does this tale teller.


Last edited by Hillary on Tue Aug 17, 2004 9:12 am; edited 1 time in total

Post Tue Aug 17, 2004 7:39 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Lib



Joined: 16 Apr 2004
Posts: 3423
Ohhh, I want to be in the story!  Reply with quote  

Hillary, how can they make you give up your soul? When you are old and gray like some of us (if you don't use hair color) you'll still have something to do. So instead of knitting in a rocking chair, you'll be pecking at the keyboard mummuring about Lauren keeping her wicked twisted (warts included) hands off!
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Book: A garden carried in a pocket. Arabian Proverb

Post Tue Aug 17, 2004 7:53 am   View user's profile Send private message
John



Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 521
Location: Massachusetts
 Reply with quote  

There once was a woman named Hil
Whose friend Lauren she set out to kill
Said here's some advice for free
The book stays with me
Then proceeded to smash in her grill




Give up the book, Hillary!
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"Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy""

Post Tue Aug 17, 2004 9:23 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Lauren



Joined: 07 Mar 2004
Posts: 1582
Location: Massachusetts
 Reply with quote  

What Pretty Princess Hillary forgot to mention is that the flower-picking, sweet little lady has an unruly toddler clinging to her leg, screaming "I'm done! I'm done! Let me go get edited and eat some gingerbread at the harpy's house, you evil woman!"
_________________
Well, I guess you left me with some feathers in my hand.

Post Tue Aug 17, 2004 9:35 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address ICQ Number
Hillary



Joined: 13 Apr 2004
Posts: 1767
Back off, Harpy.  Reply with quote  

MY STORY. MINE.

You /= writing MY story. There are no children, there are no nothings. You just sit there, and keep your forked tongue behind your teeth.

I'm devising evil ways to drag John and Lib into this now. Lib's just sort of an innocent bystander, but no one is safe.

No one.

My reign of terror will last forever!

Mwahahahahahaha.

Post Tue Aug 17, 2004 10:08 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Lib



Joined: 16 Apr 2004
Posts: 3423
Re: Lib's sort of an innocent bystander.  Reply with quote  

Hillary, I beg of you...don't make me innocent. I could have an evil motive to you not giving up your book. Twisted Evil Hmm, maybe I'm a literary agent for Nicholas Sparks and don't want you to give the blessed man any competition (can't believe I used blessed as an adjective for man).
_________________
Book: A garden carried in a pocket. Arabian Proverb

Post Tue Aug 17, 2004 10:13 am   View user's profile Send private message
Lauren



Joined: 07 Mar 2004
Posts: 1582
Location: Massachusetts
 Reply with quote  

From Hill: You /= writing MY story. There are no children, there are no nothings. You just sit there, and keep your forked tongue behind your teeth.

Well, I suppose the time you spend writing your tale of me as an evil harpy is time not spend tinkering. So go nuts. But while you're at it, you could be printing that manuscript out. You're an office manager now; that gives you authority to abuse the office printer priveliges. Twisted Evil

I'm thinking we might need to start a pool of when you turn it over. I'm casting about for cool prizes for whoever is closest. You can't play, though, because that would be cheating.

Oh! Hey! Look what I found! http://bbs.chrismoore.com/viewtopic.php?t=924. On July 28th, you told the world (well, the board, but we're all that matters) that it was finished. So, let's see...that makes it 20 days since you finished. Not 2. 20.
_________________
Well, I guess you left me with some feathers in my hand.

Post Tue Aug 17, 2004 10:17 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address ICQ Number
Hillary



Joined: 13 Apr 2004
Posts: 1767
 Reply with quote  

Would you leave me alone if I said it was a kinky sex fetish that makes me continue to edit?

Would you stop prying then?

Post Tue Aug 17, 2004 10:26 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Lauren



Joined: 07 Mar 2004
Posts: 1582
Location: Massachusetts
 Reply with quote  

Ahem. *points to sig* You like it. And it's not prying. It's chivvying.
_________________
Well, I guess you left me with some feathers in my hand.

Post Tue Aug 17, 2004 10:35 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address ICQ Number
Tal



Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 1692
Location: Not Massachusetts
 Reply with quote  

BANG BANG!? BANG?! BANG?!

And all this time I thought I was being somewhat eloquent in my postings here. Wink
_________________
"Doug's okay." - Deb.

Post Tue Aug 17, 2004 12:13 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Hillary



Joined: 13 Apr 2004
Posts: 1767
 Reply with quote  

Well, I'm not the one trying to shoot somebody with a gosh darned banana.

Smile

Post Tue Aug 17, 2004 12:16 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Tal



Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 1692
Location: Not Massachusetts
 Reply with quote  

Hillary wrote:
Well, I'm not the one trying to shoot somebody with a gosh darned banana.

Smile


Nonononono. The implicit threat was "I'll peel it" not that I would shoot you with it silly. It was actually a thinly veilled attempt to allow me to follow with a bad pun using the word appeal. Smile
_________________
"Doug's okay." - Deb.

Post Tue Aug 17, 2004 12:19 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Think insane.



Joined: 26 Apr 2004
Posts: 1577
Location: Night's Plutonian shore
Re: PART ONE  Reply with quote  

Hillary wrote:
Once upon a time there was a merciless harpy named Lauren. Merciless Harpy Lauren was a sad individual who lured small children to her candy covered gingerbread house in order to feast upon their young flesh.

She was kind of a bitch that way.

One day, Lauren spied through her window a delicate lady picking daisies in a pasture. The harpy licked her reptilian lips, a cold gleam in her hazel eyes. "Ooh look. It's Pretty Princess Hillary, and she is picking flowers. Let me lure her into my house to put her in a pie!" So Lauren screeched at her minions to attend, and one by one they arrived to carry out their dark mistresses bidding.

The first of the motley bunch was Tal, the highest in the order of Demonkind serving the harpy queen. Under one arm, he held a cat - a black cat, because he really liked black cats (he was a demon) - and under the second arm, he held a banana, pointing it like a gun.

"Tal! You have come to me first!" The harpy said with a smile. "You shall be rewarded for your service!"

"BANG BANG" Tal replied, shooting at her with the banana. "BANANA MAKE GOOD GUN."

"Yes, Tal. That's nice. Now I want you to go lure that delicate princess - the one with the flowing locks and rosy cheeks - into the house. For she needs to be in a pie!"

"BANG BANG!" (Which in Tal speak, meant 'okee dokee boss'). And the dark minion shuffled off to carry out his task.

Merciless Harpy Lauren watched through the window, an evil smile twisting her lips into crooked lines. Tal was her most sacred servant - first among the black throng - and surely would succeed.

"BANG BANG" Tal muttered, descending upon the pasture.

"What was that you said kind sirrah?" Called the pretty princess named Hillary, with a voice so sweet that birds perched on her shoulder.

"BANG!" Tal yelled with a menacing grin, weilding the banana like an AK47. He threw the black cat at her for good measure.

The pretty princess neatly sidestepped the screeching feline, dropping her flowers onto the ground. Her hands found their way to her hips. "Now that wasn't very nice. Look what you did to Mister Kitty."

"BANG BANG?"

"Yes, he's a very sad Mister Kitty."

"Bang. bang bang." Tal shook his head, the guilt of throwing his beloved pet too much for him to bear. A single tear glistened at the corner of his eye.

"Oh now, don't you fret. As soon as kitty loses his concussion, he'll be fine. Don't you worry."

Tal nodded his head, a watery smile spreading across his demon face. "Bang. bang bang. GOOD KITTY."

"You're welcome. Now collect your feline and be off. And don't take any wooden nickels!" Pretty Princess Hillary said in her singsong voice. She watched the servant collect his cat, stroking its silky head with silly crooning noises. He ambled away from the pasture - away from Evil Harpy Lauren's house - before peeling the banana and inserting it into his gullet.

"CURSES!" Lauren shouted, shaking her gnarled fist at the heavens. "She has foiled my plans! But this is not over. There are other minions. I will call them to me, and they shall succeed where Tal has failed. I am unstoppable . . . "

And so Lauren waited for others to hear her call.

And so, too, does this tale teller.


Shouldn't it be "Mistress's", showing possesion, as they are her minions? Also, taleteller is one word, while Demon kind is two. And wielding is definately I before E, as there is no C. Other than that, it's a good story Me like Smile

See, this is why you need to give the book to Lauren. She'll fix that shit. And you'll become less insane. It's win-win really...

Very Happy
_________________
"It's like he channels dead crazy people."
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thinkinsane at mac dot com
AIM: thinkpsychotic

Post Tue Aug 17, 2004 6:04 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
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