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I am Noob. :[
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VZG



Joined: 15 Sep 2007
Posts: 16
Location: New York, New York
I am Noob. :[  Reply with quote  

I come bearing muffins baked with LOVE.

Oh, wait... oh... oh no. I appear to have mixed up my spice rack again, and these... these muffins... I've accidentally baked them with SHAME.

...BUT THEY ARE STILL TASTY!

Uh, anyway.

I'm VZG (or "Veez," if you are bizarre and prefer one syllable with more letters, as most of my friends seem to), and I am a student (woe) studying film. I first discovered Christopher Moore's Lamb in my most awesome of English classes in my senior year of high school. (Well, actually, I liked the teacher and I liked Lamb and a few of the other books on our optional reading list, but I hated most of the required reading, except for Metamorphosis... which everyone else hated... anyway!) After reading it I let my father borrow it, and he, too, fell in love with Moore's writing. We now own Lamb, Practical Demonkeeping, The Stupidest Angel, A Dirty Job, and You Suck; unfortunately, I have only read Lamb and You Suck thus far, though I'm working on The Stupidest Angel, but being a student is hard... with all the homework... and the laundry... that I'm not doing. The only one Dad's not read is Practical Demonkeeping, which I'm sure he will take to read soon.

In any case, I've decided to join your ranks after seeing the "Not In The Butt" M&M captions in Mr. Moore's MySpace blog. (Okay, it's embarrassing to admit that I have a MySpace, really, but the good news is that I pretty much only have it to read Moore's blog and two others.)

And now that I've officially made this introduction far too long and am officially too tired to even spell correctly anymore, uh. Hi! Muffins! Baked with shame! HAVE SOME.
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Post Sun Sep 16, 2007 1:10 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
zendao42



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 13570
Location: Somewhere in a galaxy near you
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Very Happy Welcome VZG!

Have some cocoa (it dropped below 60 degrees tonight, I'm bringing back the cocoa!)...

Muffins, eh?
Well, throw some chocolate chips in them & I'll take some- just no fucking blueberries!
Thanks for reminding me that I need to post that old WEEKLY WORLD NEWS recipe for sex muffins-
when I get around to it...

The prefered offering is pie, but most won't complain if you bring something sweet-
if you're male, however, Joe likes key lime pie-
it can make the strip search less harsh.
Oh, are you naked? Rules are rules, after all...

BTW, you will find that a large number of us are also 'Space cadets-
I joined because of the AG, too...

Post Sun Sep 16, 2007 1:26 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
VZG



Joined: 15 Sep 2007
Posts: 16
Location: New York, New York
 Reply with quote  

Mmm, cocoa.

Well, actually, they're pumpkin muffins. Because those are the very best sort of muffins, and even shame cannot taint them!

I am not male. Sometimes I forget that people don't know this through telepathy. Uh, the "G" actually stands for/stood for "girl." And... I'm not currently naked, out of respect to my roommate and her guest. But if you give me time and some chloroform, we may be able to remedy that.
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Post Sun Sep 16, 2007 1:45 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Goudron



Joined: 03 Aug 2004
Posts: 2570
Location: near Cleveland OH
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Find your own chloroform, strip, and assume the position please. Welcome Smile
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White and feathery, yet crude and noisy, the chicken is the backbone of our farming community.

Post Sun Sep 16, 2007 9:42 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
VZG



Joined: 15 Sep 2007
Posts: 16
Location: New York, New York
 Reply with quote  

Oh, all right!

You know, I had to go all the way around the corner to get this stuff.
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Post Sun Sep 16, 2007 12:07 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Klari



Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Posts: 4734
Location: Portland, OR
 Reply with quote  

Isn't chloroform available on every street corner in New York? Oh, that's crack, my bad.

Welcome VZG, I've just cursed you back in Chatzy.

Have you read the rules of the board? That would be where the getting naked references are coming from, there's sort of a probationary/hazing period for newbies (Except we don't use the word hazing, it tends to bring about lawsuits). Just keep your head down, beware of Deb, the Uber Diva Ultima and for God's sakes, DON'T look her directly in the eye. However, bonus points can be earned by kicking around her minion dougp.

Now. Amuse us newbie. Twisted Evil
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"It's like Mr. Scrappy you bite Coco. Coco, you bite him back. Soon you are both having worms, eating your own poopech..." -Zohan in You Don't Mess With the Zohan

Post Sun Sep 16, 2007 12:16 pm   View user's profile Send private message
VZG



Joined: 15 Sep 2007
Posts: 16
Location: New York, New York
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Okay, I shall juggle! Nakedly!

Oh, wait. That's blinding, not amusing.

...

I can flail about awkwardly for a while! It makes me look a little like a squid.
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Post Sun Sep 16, 2007 12:27 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Klari



Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Posts: 4734
Location: Portland, OR
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VZG wrote:

I can flail about awkwardly for a while! It makes me look a little like a squid.




Really? It makes you look like you're in the Navy? How does it do that? Do you spontaneously appear in a uniform? That IS a trick. We gots ourselves a talented newbie here people. Twisted Evil
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"It's like Mr. Scrappy you bite Coco. Coco, you bite him back. Soon you are both having worms, eating your own poopech..." -Zohan in You Don't Mess With the Zohan

Post Sun Sep 16, 2007 12:29 pm   View user's profile Send private message
VZG



Joined: 15 Sep 2007
Posts: 16
Location: New York, New York
 Reply with quote  

Well, my skin changes to look uniform-ish, but I am still naked.
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Post Sun Sep 16, 2007 1:00 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
MrEMann



Joined: 23 Feb 2006
Posts: 1642
Location: I'm much better in real life than I am in person
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Hello n00b!!!!!! Glad that you are settling in OK. You do need to run back around the corner and pick up some pie. Muffins, while OK, just aren't the same in many ways, besides the obvious.

Oh, and while you are there, Klari needs swifter refills and a fridge box Arm and Hammer (the box that opens on the side with the holes in it)
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Socially irresponsible, morally irredeemable and pretty god-damned glorious to behold @mremann

Post Sun Sep 16, 2007 1:30 pm   View user's profile Send private message
fortune cookie



Joined: 18 Mar 2006
Posts: 10534
Location: Easy street
 Reply with quote  

Welcome!
Do make yourself comfortable.
Nekked? Stack of AG books? Some funnies already submitted.
Have you returned with the Pie yet?
Haven't had Mince, in some time, that might be nice.
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We all enter this world in the same way: naked; screaming; soaked in blood.
But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there." Dana Gould

Post Sun Sep 16, 2007 2:07 pm   View user's profile Send private message
Joelibris



Joined: 23 Mar 2006
Posts: 7557
Location: Kraptapolis, NC, U. S. of DUH-HUH
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Welcome, A broad! Errr, aboard....
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delusional minority and by the mainstream media which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

Post Sun Sep 16, 2007 2:27 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
VZG



Joined: 15 Sep 2007
Posts: 16
Location: New York, New York
 Reply with quote  

Is chocolate okay? I'm not the biggest pie fan, but I can stomach almost anything if it's chocolate flavored...
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Post Sun Sep 16, 2007 3:26 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Joelibris



Joined: 23 Mar 2006
Posts: 7557
Location: Kraptapolis, NC, U. S. of DUH-HUH
 Reply with quote  

Lets see... chocolate + pie....you'll do OK.
_________________
"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
delusional minority and by the mainstream media which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

Post Sun Sep 16, 2007 4:09 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
VZG



Joined: 15 Sep 2007
Posts: 16
Location: New York, New York
 Reply with quote  

Huzzah!
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Post Sun Sep 16, 2007 4:19 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
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