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Extreme Fucktarding

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Joined: 03 Aug 2004
Posts: 2570
Location: near Cleveland OH
Extreme Fucktarding  Reply with quote  

I don't know whether to strangle this salesguy from work or applaud him. Email chain (edited heavily to leave out details):

Me (Monday): Here are the 12 quotes I received to do all the possible combinations of the performance testing you may need to have done should you pursue this business opportunity.

Fucktard (Tuesday): Why would we want to run tests of type A and B? For this particular opportunity, I only need type A. How much would it cost without type B? Please explain if there's something I'm missing.

Me (Tuesday 20 minutes later, copying boss of Fucktard): Well if you recall, your boss had a plan to pursue this particular business opportunity, as well as several related opportunities selling the same product, so you'll need to run testing of types A and B unless you're going to limit yourself to this one small opportunity. I'll need to ask for another quote if you just want to do type A. Please let me know if that's what you'd like to do.

Fucktard (following Tuesday): Did you get the quote back yet?

Me (same day): No, I didn't hear anything back from you. I figured you and your boss decided against getting the extra quote.

Fucktard (same day): Per my email last Tuesday "How much would it cost without type B?"

This was the first time in the workplace I've experienced someone quoting themselves out of context for the purposes of being a bigger fucktard. Ignorant, or genius? I'm going with ignorant considering the whole email chain was attached. Rest assured, after I responded pointing out my own "let me know if that's what you want to do" quote, he acted even more like an ass even though I told him I'd get him his quote.

Feel free to add your own extreme fucktarding anecdotes. It was a tossup between "Extreme Fucktarding" and "Extraordinary Fucktardery" for the post title. Just be sure to keep on the topic of fucktardiness.
White and feathery, yet crude and noisy, the chicken is the backbone of our farming community.

Post Wed Sep 26, 2007 8:08 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website

Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Posts: 5089
Location: In the home stretch...
 Reply with quote  

Not quite as bad as yours, but...

So, I get a call from my boss Monday night telling me that she needs to pull me to work with a different client who is hospitalized. I'm an agreeable sort of person and work well with all the guys who are life-skills consumers, and I don't have a problem being moved around, so I say no sweat.
Now it may seem like hospital duty would be great, since all you really do is sit in the room and watch cable TV. One of the reasons I wanted the life-skills program is because I did NOT want to spend my days watching TV (nothing against TV, I would just feel really guilty watching 18 hours a day of it). Nor do I like to sit in uncomfortable chairs and watch people sleep. But, like I said, I'm agreeable and try to be a team player.
As luck would have it, our agency RN came down to the hospital to talk to the client's doctors, and would not leave until she had done so. Which meant I spent 6 hours with her. She's a very nice lady, and it could have been someone much worse, but it got thin after hour 2. She finally got to chat with the docs and left about 3:15. My shift is normally over at 3:30, but in this instance should have been done at 3:00 p.m.
We have a policy that says you give the relief staff 15 minutes beyond their scheduled to time before you call the on-call manager. Now, technically, I gave the person 45 minutes before I made the 1st call. I was told that the manager would try to locate the staff and would get right back to me. 50 minutes later, I made the second call to the manager. I was then told that they had no idea where the staff was (not my problem), that they had called their supervisor and she didn't know (again, not my problem), and that they would get someone there "soon". At 6:10, almost 3 hours past my scheduled end of shift, I got a call that said another staff would be coming and could I meet them at the entrance with the client I had been with. I told them not possible as he had discharge instructions for whoever was going to take him home. I was told it would probably be another 30-45 minutes before someone could get there. Luckily, they showed up shortly after 6:40.
At no time was I asked if I had any place I needed to be, or anything I might need to leave to do (such as work at my second job, which thankfully didn't need me that night). At no time was I given an apology to being royally screwed by their clusterfuck. And at no time did she even say hey, thanks for covering my sorry ass, because I'd have to have come down there otherwise.

Like I said, not as bad as yours, but still serious fucktardery Smile
"Jesus... is NOT a zombie... I shouldn't have to tell you that."

- "Bones"

Post Wed Sep 26, 2007 8:26 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger

Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 4787
Location: ...but it's a hot heat
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Wonko wrote:
The following is a representation of the discourse between my old boss and the new owners of one of the clinics where I work.

New Owners: The clientelle numbers are dropping off, why is that?
Clinic Administrator: You haven't been advertising the clinic since you bought it.
N.O. : Well, then. You go ahead and work up some ideas for improving the clinic income.
C.A. : Okay, here are some ideas for advertising the clinic.
N.O. : We're sorry the clinic hasn't been generating enough income to have an ad budget.
C.A. : But we can't draw in new clients without advertising. Although our word of mouth is good, it can't substitute for advertising.
N.O. : But the rate of new clients has dropped off significantly over the past year and a half.
C.A. : The school was advertising the clinic until you bought it a year and a half ago at which time you stopped advertising and the client rate started dropping.
N.O. : Exactly! We don't see putting money into advertising when the income is dropping.
C.A. : But the income is dropping because you stopped advertising!
N.O. : Well, until the income starts to increase, the clinic can't have an advertising budget.

Avoid being normal -- John Lennon

Post Thu Sep 27, 2007 1:41 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail

Joined: 16 Feb 2007
Posts: 2119
Location: ann arbor Michigan
 Reply with quote  

I understand and feel for you.

Post Thu Sep 27, 2007 2:49 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website

Joined: 06 Feb 2008
Posts: 45
Location: Arkansas
 Reply with quote  

I'd like to list the fucktardedness and jackassery that happens daily at walmart but then i'd actually have to remember what happened that day and if i did that there'd be another one of those "132 people were shot today by a raging gunmen" headlines. Not that those aren't splendid but these days they go away so quickly because cnn has to report on all the fucktardery of the political candidates these days.
I'm voting Satan for President '08.

Post Sun Feb 10, 2008 9:20 pm   View user's profile Send private message
Site Admin

Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 3833
Location: People Republic of Northern California
Some of you have heard this one...  Reply with quote  

"We'd like you to develop this idea, but without the supernatural element."
"But it's a ghost story."
"Yes, but the supernatural doesn't work on TV."
"Weren't you the head of Fox when X-Files was greenlighted."
"Well, yes, but X-Files wasn't funny."
"So funny and supernatural doesn't work."
"Weren't you the one who greenlighted Buffy?"
"Well yes, but contrary to popular belief, Buffy never did that well."
"So if I create a series that runs for seven years, and has a spin off that runs five,
you won't think that was doing that well?"
"I'd be happy to just get a pilot made, right now."
"Why the hell did you call me in the first place,
I've never written anything without a supernatural element? "
"Well we love your work, we just want you to leave that part out."

Two months later they fired me. Because I wouldn't go forward until they made up
their mind on what they wanted. The studio gave me note, then the producer gave me notes that contradicted the studio notes, while saying that I couldn't be paid unless the studio approved the idea. They ended up paying me not to write anything.

I have enormous respect for TV writers. The very fact they they aren't all mass workplace murderers is a great testament to their tolerance.

Post Mon Feb 11, 2008 2:41 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website

Joined: 29 Dec 2007
Posts: 291
 Reply with quote  

every time i start getting frustrated, i look at this:

if winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?

Post Tue Feb 12, 2008 5:23 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail

Joined: 18 Jan 2005
Posts: 5197
Location: Michissippi
Re: Some of you have heard this one...  Reply with quote  

chris wrote:
I have enormous respect for TV writers. The very fact they they aren't all mass workplace murderers is a great testament to their tolerance.
A few years back I had the pleasure of interviewing a novelist who had made a great deal of $$$ from one of her novels being optioned. She eventually wound up moving to Hollyweed and working full time as a scriptwriter. She made a potload of money - enough for she and her husband to buy a nice ranch in the Southwest and survive off of income from their investments.

And she never, ever saw even one word she wrote make it into film or TV. Zero, zip, nada. That was why she quit and has returned to writing novels.

Post Tue Feb 12, 2008 6:39 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website

Joined: 23 Mar 2006
Posts: 7557
Location: Kraptapolis, NC, U. S. of DUH-HUH
 Reply with quote  

Sue Grafton?
"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
delusional minority and by the mainstream media which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

Post Wed Feb 13, 2008 2:54 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address Yahoo Messenger

Joined: 19 Feb 2008
Posts: 3329
Location: sittin here on mah porch with dis here gun
a whaling debate i got into once  Reply with quote  

so i'm anti commercial whaling and here is an arguement i once got into with 2 people who are pro commercial whaling (i will just refer to them as asshole 1 and 2) but i will state for the record that i really do like japan even though they do some really dumb things sometimes because hey, we all do. Very Happy

me: its really annoying that the japanese say its research whaling when the data they get isn't really needed or can be aquired through non fatal methods.

asshole 1: what are talking about? the data they get on population size helps them figure out if commercial whaling is possible.

me: commercial whaling is illegal, why do they need to see if its possible to do something illegal? plus there are tons of ways to study a population size with out killing part of the population.

asshole 2: its part of japans traditional food culture too.

me: killing whales in antartica is part of japans traditional food culture?

asshole 1: they need data from whales in antartica as well as the north pacific.

me: ok, so they need data on the population size of whales in antartica to see if they can restart commercial whaling to sustain their traditional food culture? even though they have too much meat as it is because no one is buying it?

asshole 1 and 2: yea

this whole thing actually continued for a lot longer but this was one of the points that really irritated me.
"protestant heaven is in the basement of catholic heaven."
my dad

"there's just one more thing.... it's been emotional." lock stock and 2 smoking barrels

Post Thu Feb 21, 2008 10:02 pm   View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 25 Feb 2008
Posts: 56
Location: Earthling (FL)
 Reply with quote  

The peeps I work for ->
Refuse to cooperate with themselves!
yikes Sad

Post Fri Apr 11, 2008 1:53 pm   View user's profile Send private message
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