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Road Rage Thread 3

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Dave S.

Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Posts: 480
Location: Philly burbs
Road Rage Thread 3  Reply with quote  

Here is the latest chapter by kjs237 for those of you who are experiencing errors scrolling down to the bottom of Road Rage (Robb - you can post your chapter on this thread and we'll continue from here):

Dayu was a god but his divinity was limited to kitchen magic. His magic gave the coffee of the Kurosawa Kantina its irresistible, crowd drawing aroma and made the special sauce on David’s Double Whammy Hamburger Deluxe addictive. Those were impressive things for a god with a little g, but not much in the over all scheme of the universe. He was powerless in the shadow of the Archfay, Strug.

He was terrified as he listened to Strug roaring in the crowd, knowing that the only other special thing he possessed was his little g essence, which if consumed by the Archfay, would make Strug indestructible for at least a century. He didn’t care so much about the consequences of an indestructible Archfay but it would also cancel Dayu. He would cease to exist. He crept from his place behind the Mr. Coffee and hid in the well of the deep fat fryer, sobbing as the hot grease popped and bubbled, hoping that one of the human’s outside would do something stupid and draw attention away so that he could find David, and get him to move the Kantina out of this place.

The small group outside the Kantina watched in fascination as Strug began to suck the life from the woman he embraced.

“What the hell?” Karen said, suddenly realizing that one of the men standing closest to the entity that was extinguishing the life of the topless bimbo was her husband, Chad. “What’s that little weasel doing over there?” She began moving with determination toward the spellbound mob around the Archfay.

“What’s she doing?” Is she insane?” Coriander asked no one in particular as they all watched Karen walk away.

“This is getting interesting again” said the werewolf. “I’m goin’ back in.” He followed, hands in his pockets. He had nothing to worry about; the Archfay wouldn’t bother with him anyway.

“Hey, aren’t you like, a paramedic or something?” Gage asked Possum. “Shouldn’t you be over there trying to help those people? That guy on the ground doesn’t look to good and the woman, well…”

“Yeah.” Dr. Possum said. He was really wishing he’d called in sick. The heat, the traffic calamity, werewolves, life sucking demons…he didn’t like the way the morning was going at all. He shrugged and sighed, “Yeah, I should, but that’s one scary looking dude. I’m not in a big hurry to become his second course, if you catch my drift.”

Neither Gage nor Coriander wanted to be the demon’s second course either. They didn’t blame him.

But a nagging voice (possibly his mother’s) inside Edward Possum’s head urged him to at least try to do something. He knew there was supposed to be a hurt cyclist somewhere in that tangle and while the guy who’d been in the trunk of that Caddy was gone (Had that poor bastard really been wearing a pair of Sponge Bob boxers?) and the woman in the grips of the demon was probably beyond his help now, the guy on the ground was still alive and far enough from the immediate threat of the Archfay that he might be able to get to him unnoticed for long enough to make a difference.

His decision made, he swore, ran back to the stuck ambulance for some gear, and headed toward the center of the mob.

Meanwhile, Karen continued with strong, determined steps towards her husband as the Archfay gripped the topless woman, who seemed to be dissolving into bones and gooey foam. Obviously she was some tramp he’d picked up on the way to work that morning, the one who’d answered the phone when she’d called his number by accident.

Bitch deserved to get the life sucked out of her, she thought.

In the confusion, Chad had noticed a woman approaching but failed to recognize his own wife in her real life costume. Karen was ready to start raging at him when she was struck in the face by what she first mistook for a water balloon. It left a huge red welt stinging on her cheek.

“Son of a…” she let the rest trail off as she realized that she’d caught the attention of the Archfay. She stopped, holding her breath, and stared at the ground. That’s when she saw a small, clear, pillow of colorless gel and realized what had actually hit her in the face. “Hmmm. Boob job.” She thought. That was Chad’s type all right.

The demon sniffed momentarily in her direction but he wasn’t interested in her yet. She was relieved to see his gaze move past her toward an attractive man, standing in awe of Strug.

The female meatbag, now consumed, was already forgotten. He needed the Deity. Strug started for the pretty boy meatbag in front of him. This one would take him to the god. This one would take him anywhere. He would taste lovely too.

As Strug reached for Mac, Babs snapped out of her stupor and jumped between the demon and her partner, gun raised. Strug barely acknowledged the interference, grabbing Gutterball’s head in one large hand and squeezing it until blood spouted from her nose in a torrent and both eyes burst and popped out. When she fell in a pile at his feet, he simply kicked her away and pulled Mac to him, staring into his eyes, his objective obvious.


Mac blubbered and drooled and said nothing but “Bluh?”

At least that’s what it sounded like to Dr. Possum who was now bending over Calvin a few yards away. The Archfay, intent on the possession of the Deity, didn’t seem to notice or care.

“God, do I have a headache.” Calvin moaned, trying to grab at his head, as Possum examined the gaping hole the hubcap had sliced there.

“Keep your hands down and stay still.” Possum said as the demon ranted on.

“Is that guy still breathin’? ‘Cause I’m hungry.” The werewolf said from over Possum’s shoulder.

“Shut up and make yourself useful” Possum said. “Get over here and hold his arms so he stops trying to poke around at this gap in his head while I work on getting this blood stopped up.”

“If he dies, can I have him?”

“He’s not going to die. And…Ewwww.” Possum said.

Junior the werewolf was disappointed, but he decided he didn’t have anything better to do at the moment, so he knelt down beside Calvin and held his arms in place at his sides.

Karen, disgusted by Chad, who had fallen to the ground in a sniveling heap after Strug crushed in Babs’ skull, decided to wait and rag on him later. She wanted him coherent and capable of understanding her disappointment in him, and of the punishment she intended to inflict. She backed away from the Archfay, and joined Possum and Junior as they worked on Calvin.

Strug continued to demand the location of the Deity from Mac, who was so dumbstruck by the demon’s magnificence that he couldn’t have told him where Dayu was, even if he’d known.

“He’s trying to find the kitchen god.” Karen whispered to the werewolf.

“That would make sense.”

“What’s a kitchen god?” Calvin asked, trying to sit up.

“Cut it out,” Dr. Possum said, “just be still and don’t move yet. I’m trying to get your head back together.”

Strug’s supernatural ears heard “Kitchen God” and he released the still drooling Mac. Mac looked as if he’d lost everything he’d ever had. In the grip of Strug’s enchantment, he’d wanted the demon to consume him. He began to cry. The demon didn’t care. He turned toward the group surrounding the meatbag with the slice in his head.

Dr. Possum, noticing the change in the demon’s focus, motioned to the others and waited. “This can’t be good.” He said.

No sooner had Dr. Possum spoken these words when Strug took two giant steps, plucked Karen up by her hair, and dangled her there, in the air. One sharp heeled black pump fell to the ground as she hung suspended. “WHERE IS THE GOD?” Demanded the Archfay, spinning her by her hair. “YOU WILL NOT DEFY ME.”

As she spun, she noticed her husband Chad cowering below, next to the wise guy’s Caddy, begging for his life. The wise guy was huddling there with him.

“Crap! This day just keeps getting better and better.” Dr. Possum said. “Look, you’re a werewolf right?”

“Yeah, so what?” Said the werewolf.
“Well, he can’t hurt you. So, couldn’t you at least try to slow him down?”

“Why? I don’t have any argument with him. And the suit? She’s just sweet smelling prey.”

Edward rolled his eyes, shook his head, and said. “Well, that’s just perfect. If you’re not going to help, is there any way you know of that I can stop him?”

“Not really,” said the werewolf, “unless you can get him back in that box and surround him by salt water. Archfays can’t abide salt water.”

“Why? Does it kill them?”

“No. But it messes with them. They’re allergic. Kind of like werewolves and silver.”

“Allergic, eh?” Dr. Possum said. “Hmmm.”

He thought for a fraction of a second about the risky thing he was going to attempt to do, got scared and changed his mind, (heard the nagging voice) then changed it back again. He stood up suddenly and called to the Archfay. “Hey! Dude! I know where your kitchen god is.”

The Archfay stopped spinning the angry female meatbag and turned attention on the new meatbag. He dropped her to the ground and moved toward Possum.


“Hey, he’s all yours. Really. Actually, I’ve got him right here, in my pocket.” Dr. Possum pulled out his asthma inhaler and tossed it to the demon. “He’s inside that little jar, trapped like a djinn.”


“Trust me. He’s in there all right. All you have to do is push that button thingy on the end and suck him out.”

The Archfay, a mighty but rather stupid demon, picked up the asthma inhaler ecstatically. It was primed and ready to go. He closed his eyes and began to glow as he put the inhaler to his lips, pressed the plunger and inhaled with all his might.

There was a sizzling, burning sound and then the demon began to shriek…and to shrink. Soon he was nothing more than the size of a small rat or maybe a big fat toad.

“I’d advise you to hurry if you want to live.” The werewolf said. “Effect only lasts a couple of minutes. You need to get him back in the box he came out of. Its magic will bind him.”

“I’ll take care of the little bastard.” Karen said. She grabbed her lost shoe, scooped up the screaming demon and ran for the Caddy, hoping the box in its trunk was still whole. It was and she shoved Strug in the box, thumping him on the back of his tiny head just before she closed the lid. “That’s for messing up my hair.” She said, slamming the trunk shut. The box inside once again began its soft hum.

“Well, that was cool.” Said the werewolf. “What was in that thing?”

“Cromolyn Sodium.” Said Dr. Possum. “It’s an anti inflammatory agent in an inhalant form.”

“Salt water.”

"All internet posts are true."
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Post Sun Sep 12, 2004 6:35 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Miss Betty

Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 359
Location: Outskirts of Da 'Burgh
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At the precise moment Karen slammed the trunk, a deafening explosion broke the silence created by Shrug’s appearance.

Calvin, in his infinite wisdom, comments, “I hear ringing in my ears.”

Then a chuck of what must have been part of the Fiero landed on what was left of his head, killing him instantly.

“Dammit,” muttered Dr Possum, “I should have called-off!”

Pieces of the Fiero & who knows what else started to rain down on the crowd near the Cadillac.

Karen shouted, ”RUN FOR IT!!!!” , as hail of bullets discharged, tearing though bodies like they were warmed butter. One of those bullets, unbeknownst to them, managed to hit the trunk lock of the Cadillac.

Dr. Possum looked on in horror as he watched people falling from the shrapnel from the Fiero & the bullets. But then Junior noticed something.

“Well, that’s odd…” he commented to Dr. Possum.

“OK, there’s bullets flying, body parts being flung, shrapnel impaling all around – oh, and an ancient evil in the truck of the Cadillac -- and you thing that’s odd?!?!”

“Well, if you put it that way….” He muttered. “But wait, look!!!”

The Kantina appeared to be shimmering. It was deflecting all the debris that was flying around.

“So,” Dr Possum comments with a shrug, “the Kitchen god must be working his mojo to protect his home.”

“No, dummy, not that! Look under it!”

Coming from under The Kantina, was the same eerie glow that had been coming from the Cadillac right before Shrug appeared. But this time the glow was different, somehow brighter. There was no humming – that they could discern, but hell, there were explosions, raining bullets, shrapnel flying , people screaming as their body parts were torn off, loud thuds as the body parts landed – (you get the picture.) In the middle of all the glowing were Coriander and Gage - hiding under The Kantina, next to Justin Case.

From this angle, Dr Possum couldn’t tell exactly what was happening.

“Don’t you have, I dunno, like Super Sight or something? What’s happening over there?” queried Doc.

“Oh sure, now I’m like Superman or something! Dude, Superman isn’t real! Get over it! ‘Do I have super sight?!?!?’”

“Don’t be an asshat, Werewolf!” ordered Karen, “Can you see what’s happening or not?”

“Geez, no respect! Ya know, in some countries, werewolves are worshiped!! WORSHIPED!!” Junior muttered to himself, “Can’t get no respect ‘round here and now they want me to help them. Well, I’ll just help them out by leaving them here to figure this all out themselves…” his voice trailing off.

“Oh, please – do the ‘Woe is me act’ later & tell us what the hell is happening how!!!” shouted Karen.

“Alright! Alright! You don’t need to yell!” Junior said in a disgusted tone “Well, lookey here, “he cackled, “looks like Hell may be the opportune word to use. What did you say you were again? I noticed you didn’t say you were exactly ‘normal human’ either?”

“Don’t go there, Werewolf! I do not need to explain myself to an overgrown lap-dog! Just answer the friggin’ question!”

“Overgrown lap-dog!!! Who do you think you’re talking to? I am a werewolf, one of the most feared Creatures of the Night! You don’t get to order me around & insult me! I’m just not gonna help at all now! Rude, Bitch!!!”

“Oh now that does it! “shouted Dr Possum. “I am so sick off all of this shit! Will you two just knock it off – there’s other things happening more important!”

“Eh, like that there?” Commented a voice behind them.

Apparently, in the confusion, someone dove into in the now-opened trunk, jarring the relic containing Shrug. Unfortunately for all of them, whoever it was happened to be bleeding at the time. Shrug absorbed the life-giving juices from them & had stepped out of the trunk once again.

“Hello again, Meatbag!” Shrug said looking at Dr Possum. “Did you miss me?”

“Not now, Shrug!” Ordered Karen. “There’s something happening over there,” she said pointing toward The Kantina.

“But…” stammered Shrug.

“I said NOT NOW!”

Junior & Dr. Possum looked at each other in shock over Karen’s head. They did the silent tug-o-war guy thing to decide who was gonna ask the question:

“How come he’s listening to you,” asked Junior curiously, having lost. ”Not that I care, but that’s just not normal.”

“THAT’S not normal,“ exclaimed Dr Possum. “As if any of this is normal!”

“Wait a minute,” commented Junior in a wary tone, “If he’s listening to you, then you must be --------“

At that precise moment all sound stopped. All eyes turned to The Kantina, where a loud humming now joined the glow.

“Oh, shit!” commented Karen. “This is gonna be bad.”

“KEVIN!!!!,’ shouted Shrug as he looked for a place to hide from the glow. “Quickly, put me back in the box, please!!! Oh please, put me back in – I know you can,” he beseeched Karen.

“Uh ah – you deal with him,” she told him. “You fucked-up my hair!”

“Um, hello?” squeaked Dr Possum. “What’s going on? And why is Shrug asking her for help?”

“Well,” started Junior, “she – and I’m guessing here – would have to be a Carpathian. But I don’t get how she can be in the sunlight…” he says thoughtfully. Dr Possum kinda squeaked & shrugged gesturing toward the glow. ”Oh and that,” Junior says pointing toward The Kantina as a smile spread on his face,” why - all Hell is about to break loose, of course.”
Blessed are the cracked ... for they let in the light. - Maxine

Post Wed Sep 22, 2004 7:34 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger

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As Karen shifted her attention to the supernatural activity around the Karasawa Kantina, the panic-stricken Archfay went off the deep end. The explosions continued to boom, curiously cool light glowed from the mobile cafeteria, and Strug frantically crashed through the remaining few survivors gathered near the ruined Seville. He approached Tony Fingers, immediately determined that the aging hit-man was useless to him, and struck him in the chest so hard his heart exploded. He brushed past Mac, who was still in a shock-induced stupor, and swept him aside so viciously that his head and neck were severed from his torso. Without pause he then turned to the next person in reach. Strug grabbed Dr. Possum by the throat, and with one hand lifted him so high that the terrified Doctor’s toes dangled two feet above the ground.

“BAM!” banged another part of Booger as it landed near the Cadillac. Possum didn’t even notice- he was squeezing his eyes shut in anticipation of an excruciating death. A flying tire grazed the berserk Archfay, but he didn’t flinch as recognition gradually swept across the his face and he slowly lowered Possum to the ground. “Your powers must be great,” Strug growled as he relaxed his grip on Possum’s throat. “You are able to exude the aura of a mere mortal, and an extremely weak one at that. Yet you subdued me earlier without unmasking your true nature, and now you do not even appear to resist me. Explain yourself.”

Edward Possum glanced around hurriedly, and began babbling faster than he could think. “Well… I uh, I have, uh… these, well…I know lots of spells and stuff,” stammered Possum as he raised his hands above his head. He began wiggling his fingers at Strug, and as he wildly looked around he continued with the panicked improvisation. “Back away and I will, uh, spare you, and uh...” He paused as his eyes scanned the ground near Strug’s feet. “Actually, I will provide what you seek if you agree to leave immediately,” Possum continued, lowering his hands and now speaking with the slightest hint of confidence. “You missed the most essential part of the other, uh, meatbag’s, uh, life force. It’s right there,” pointed the Doctor, “preserved in it’s, uh, skin of protection. Swallow it whole, and be careful not to rupture the container or you could lose some of its power.”

The Archfay looked at Possum carefully, not doubting the veracity of the mortal’s directions, but instead considering how he would destroy him after consuming the most crucial part of Kali’s being. Strug opened his mouth impossibly wide, and proceeded to gulp the entire saline implant like a python devouring a rat. Had Edward not been so enthralled by the unbelievable actions of the Archfay, he would have noticed the even more bizarre activity around the Kantina.


Even Karen’s eyes widened as she watched the Karasawa Kantina. Glowing brighter and brighter, yet emanating no heat, the entire truck was now hovering above the ground. More amazing still were the changes in Justin Case, who’s entire body had evolved as she watched. He had grown before her eyes, and was now over 6 feet tall with chiseled muscles bulging out of his Snoop-Dog t-shirt. Equally amazing was the huge black Afro that had sprouted from his head and the dark, dark skin that showed on every part of Justin that wasn’t covered by the tightening t-shirt and extra-snug jeans. Karen’s mouth dropped open as she witnessed this transformation, but she gasped in shock when she shifted her gaze to Gage and Coriander.

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