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dirty damn ape!
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Spacemonkey



Joined: 12 Feb 2009
Posts: 51
Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
dirty damn ape!  Reply with quote  

Hi forum folk,

First, i won't deny I am Canadian, but i'm not always much for rules so, i am staying.

I'd never heard of Christopher Moore before last week. my school's bookstore featured a display of pretty much all his books (never seen them do something like that before). I settled on Fluke. I cannot say what a pick-me-up it was during some of the worst times I have had in a long while.

I'm a bookworm. grew up on sci-fi and fantasy, worked my way through the literary canon, ivory tower and subversive, during my early adulthood. somewhere in my late twenties, I read a newspaper column that discussed men's reading habits through different stages of life. It said that sometime before thirty, most men stop reading fiction. They might read biographies, how-to, or scholarly books, and especially anything about war, but the poetry and novels go the way of the dinosaur (until elderly when they begin rereading their youthful faves with new eyes). I remember at the time, I was so deeply entrenched in a literary lifestyle, I couldn't imagine it happening. Now, for the better part of a decade, I have mostly read non-fiction. philosophy, environment, geopolitics and the odd self-help book (don't tell anyone, it's an embarrassing secret). I never even noticed the transition, i just remember thinking about the article one day and realizing I had become that guy.

I'm trying to find my way back to the part of me that believed stories were rich and necessary, that could loll in language, the part of me that saw the world through mythos and metaphor. I need it. The last few months of my life have left me feeling i don't really know who i am.

I came across this forum while looking up Mr. Moore. I've been kind of isolated recently and putzing around the board is a useful facsimile for filling in the gap.

At one time when I was living an impoverished life in Vancouver, my buddys and i would scrabble for free food distributed by a ragtag organization called food-not-bombs that collected donations of mostly stuff that was going to get thrown out for being past its date. generally it was produce going off and stale bread. There was one day we lucked into a cherry pie from a real bakery. It was and still is to this day the biggest pie i ever saw. We were so in awe of its size we took it into a grocery store and weighed it. it clocked in at 7lbs. We named it HEAVY PIE and created a celebration around it, marked the day to be forever celebrated(Heavy Pie Day), formed a loose primitive religion around it(Heavy Pie from the Gods), carried it around town with us showing it off to anyone who would pay attention(Hark, Heavy Pie!), speculated fiercely on how long such an enormous pie would last(Heavy Pie Forever), and ate the entire thing before sundown(the spirit of Heavy Pie). it was a very good day for our little band of vagabonds.



some pie:

http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/pie.htm

p.s. if you enjoy the first one, the next few seem to follow a pie obsession

Post Tue Feb 17, 2009 10:15 pm   View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
vampirelover



Joined: 15 Dec 2008
Posts: 566
Location: Hunter Mtn., NY
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Well, allow me to be the first to welcome you.

So, obviously you have read the rules but once again I'll let you know...
1. Get naked
2. sit on a stack of AG books or others...
3. and BRING US PIE...


hey where can we get this "Heavy Pie", huh?

always nice to welcome someone new, esp. a new fan!!
aren't you glad to be a fruitbat?
Have you read his other books now?
_________________
~Amanda~

"I love you, even more than pie" -FOOL

Post Tue Feb 17, 2009 10:43 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
zendao42



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 13570
Location: Somewhere in a galaxy near you
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Very Happy Welcome!

Cherry pie's good, if you can get the WARRANT video out of your mind-
it's also good with cocoa, have some to help warm you for the strip search... Wink

Post Tue Feb 17, 2009 10:52 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Lavandula Girl



Joined: 08 Apr 2008
Posts: 1830
Location: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arnold's Court
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So when, exactly, IS Heavy Pie Day? Calendars need to be marked, man! Oh, and welcome. Very Happy
_________________
"No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist."

Post Tue Feb 17, 2009 10:53 pm   View user's profile Send private message
Spacemonkey



Joined: 12 Feb 2009
Posts: 51
Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
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i am of course naked, but i fell off my stack of books and the resulting injuries make me feel that books are finally becoming a sport.

i guess the musical pie nerds weren't enough, eh?



I'm reading coyote blue now. my damn exams have been rudely getting in the way of reading

the heavy pie is everywhere, it is in the air we breath, in our hearts and minds. heavy pie gave up its corporeal form so as to benefit all humankind

Post Tue Feb 17, 2009 10:56 pm   View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Spacemonkey



Joined: 12 Feb 2009
Posts: 51
Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
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cripes, that wasn't real pie!

Post Tue Feb 17, 2009 10:57 pm   View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Spacemonkey



Joined: 12 Feb 2009
Posts: 51
Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
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Alas, there was a great long dark age, and most knowledge of Heavy Pie was lost. Men fought bravely to hold on to it, but the tides of ill fortune have swallowed the true date of Heavy Pie Day. Now a secret committee decrees a new date each year

Post Tue Feb 17, 2009 10:59 pm   View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
zendao42



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 13570
Location: Somewhere in a galaxy near you
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That looks like punkin, which is even better with cocoa! Very Happy

Default Pie Day is 3-14, ya know... Wink

Post Tue Feb 17, 2009 11:03 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Spacemonkey



Joined: 12 Feb 2009
Posts: 51
Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
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that one is peanut butter pie. peanut butter is another of those gifts from the gods

3-14!! i like that, I wish i still knew my old heavy Pie acolytes, we never thought of that--of course we very malnourished at the time

Post Tue Feb 17, 2009 11:06 pm   View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Spacemonkey



Joined: 12 Feb 2009
Posts: 51
Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
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At the time, in seeking to come up with a humble and sincere religion, we invoked the simplicity of the character "Ludo" from the film, labyrinth. Ludo, a warm and hearty soul was capable of expressing anything that needed expressing in sentences of just two words. We felt, following this model, our scriptures would not get bogged down in hermeneutics, politics, or ontological riddles.

Post Tue Feb 17, 2009 11:13 pm   View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
zendao42



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 13570
Location: Somewhere in a galaxy near you
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Peanut butter's the best! Cool

What reminds me, we have some with chocolate crust in the freezer-
don't wanna get malnourished now that we've run out of key lime-
that's Joe's favorite & makes the strip search less painful... Wink

Post Tue Feb 17, 2009 11:14 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Spacemonkey



Joined: 12 Feb 2009
Posts: 51
Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
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I've read about this therapeutic value in key-lime pie. I am confident though, in the ability of peanut butter to make the most unpleasant encounters more bearable.

Do these strip searches produce confiscations of contraband? or are they merely a pretense for humiliation?

Post Tue Feb 17, 2009 11:24 pm   View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Wonko



Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 4787
Location: ...but it's a hot heat
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Well, after seeing the photo of SugarRayDodge's bookcase, it is definitely not the former...
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Avoid being normal -- John Lennon

Post Tue Feb 17, 2009 11:29 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
JustAGirl



Joined: 05 Jan 2008
Posts: 2230
Location: North Carolina
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Welcome, and may Heavy Pie be with you during this troubling exam time.
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Mark it 8, Dude.

Post Wed Feb 18, 2009 5:24 am   View user's profile Send private message
Wingnut



Joined: 22 Aug 2007
Posts: 2602
Location: Nanaimo, British Columbia
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Heavy Pie? Nah, he ain't heavy, he's my brother... Shocked Question

Dude! Welcome. Rest assured that the only contraband that will be confiscated are any of the collected works of Ann Coulter (Ptui!), that skank.

Cheers!
_________________
"Smacking yourself with a thawed meat-hammer never has a desired effect." - Jinxted

"Life's too short to get wrapped around the axle about the little things." - SK

-The First Law of Geography: Everything is Connected to Everything Else.

Post Wed Feb 18, 2009 9:25 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail MSN Messenger
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