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If You Were Satan...
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festusbongwater



Joined: 20 Feb 2009
Posts: 33
If You Were Satan...  Reply with quote  

And you were stuck on Earth, what would you need help with?

Post Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:16 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
sugarraydodge



Joined: 27 Nov 2007
Posts: 647
Location: Utah
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Where on Earth is he? Specific demographics would make it all the more hilarious.
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Post Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:18 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address
festusbongwater



Joined: 20 Feb 2009
Posts: 33
If You Were Satan...  Reply with quote  

East Texas.

Post Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:30 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
JustAGirl



Joined: 05 Jan 2008
Posts: 2230
Location: North Carolina
Re: If You Were Satan...  Reply with quote  

festusbongwater wrote:
And you were stuck on Earth, what would you need help with?



Finding shoes to fit my cloven hooves.
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Post Wed Mar 04, 2009 9:20 am   View user's profile Send private message
LostInWalmart



Joined: 26 Jun 2006
Posts: 1900
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convincing people I'm evil - it's east texas, man, distinguishing comparators are hard to come by.

Post Wed Mar 04, 2009 9:29 am   View user's profile Send private message
knikkki



Joined: 13 Jun 2005
Posts: 3145
Location: Davis, CA
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Obviously, staying warm
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Post Wed Mar 04, 2009 9:41 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
18Rabbit



Joined: 21 May 2008
Posts: 1734
Location: WTF is wrong with you?
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Running into that psycho from "No Country for Old Men"

Being shot (at) by ranchers.

Being harrased/arrested by INS as an illegal alien.

Post Wed Mar 04, 2009 10:50 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Uptown_Toodeloo



Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Posts: 530
Location: St. Augustine, FL
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Dude, this is Satan we are taling about right? What does he need help with? He's got all kinds of powers, right? Can't he just conjure up whatever he wants?

Or is he an emotional cripple like the charater from South Park? Unless God is also in east Texas and making trouble for him.

Or her, i'm not sexest when it comes to evil god like creatures. Satan could be a her. Or God could be a her as well, come down to Texas to vex the red bastard.

Ok, I know its not fair to call Satan a bastard. I have no idea if he knew his father or not. Sorry.
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Post Wed Mar 04, 2009 11:16 am   View user's profile Send private message
mllefifi



Joined: 28 Jan 2006
Posts: 8964
Location: Deleoware
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Uptown_Toodeloo wrote:
[...] i'm not sexest when it comes to evil god like creatures. Satan could be a her. Or God could be a her as well, come down to Texas to vex the red bastard. [...]

Or an "it" -- let's not forget the neuter gender.

Cool
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Post Wed Mar 04, 2009 11:52 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address
Uptown_Toodeloo



Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Posts: 530
Location: St. Augustine, FL
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mllefifi wrote:
Uptown_Toodeloo wrote:
[...] i'm not sexest when it comes to evil god like creatures. Satan could be a her. Or God could be a her as well, come down to Texas to vex the red bastard. [...]

Or an "it" -- let's not forget the neuter gender.

Cool


That is so true. I apologize yet again to the none gender entities out there.
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"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science." - Albert Einstein

Post Wed Mar 04, 2009 12:00 pm   View user's profile Send private message
JustAGirl



Joined: 05 Jan 2008
Posts: 2230
Location: North Carolina
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Powers or not, it's going to be a bitch to find comfortable shoes.
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Post Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:38 pm   View user's profile Send private message
chris
Site Admin


Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 3833
Location: People Republic of Northern California
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Keeping Dick Cheney alive so he didn't die and take my job.

Post Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:43 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Lavandula Girl



Joined: 08 Apr 2008
Posts: 1830
Location: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arnold's Court
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Upside to the Texas location? Due to the oil rigs and feed lots, Satan will probably be able to pass off his brimstone smell as atmospheric.
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Post Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:47 pm   View user's profile Send private message
festusbongwater



Joined: 20 Feb 2009
Posts: 33
What Would Satan Do?  Reply with quote  

Kind of begs the question though, does Satan really want that job? See, e.g., the nasty stuff that happens in the Book of Revelations. And anyway, didn't he start out wanting God's job and end up having to settle? That's kind of the premise, and I think I've got my ending now...

Post Wed Mar 04, 2009 9:20 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
festusbongwater



Joined: 20 Feb 2009
Posts: 33
Satan's Shoes  Reply with quote  

Can't he make himself into a snake? If he can do that, is he really going to have issues with cloven feet? Or did the snake say, "Yeah, don't mind the cloven feet, just eat the friggin' apple already"?

Post Wed Mar 04, 2009 9:30 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
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