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Scruffy's Revenge End

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sugarraydodge



Joined: 27 Nov 2007
Posts: 647
Location: Utah
Scruffy's Revenge End  Reply with quote  

Okay, guys, I have spent all day on trying to finish Scruffy's Revenge (which is a short story sequel to my first novel, Happy Valley.) I came up with a really good ending. What it does is that it gives everybody the Happy Ending they wanted in Happy Valley and takes it right back away. The last paragraph kind of just happened because I was so peeved I was writing a happy ending. I didn't plan it, it just appeared. I kind of like it, but I must admit that I find it a tad disturbing. I haven't decided to leave it in or not. Here it is. I want to know what you guys think. Leave the last paragraph in, or drop it?

Happy Ending
Hal approached his Mustang, which was parked on the south side of the street. He couldn't be sure, but it looked like someone was sitting in the passenger seat. He stepped closer and realized there was definitely somebody there. The person looked up and saw him. She opened the door and stepped out of the car, and her long red hair glowed against setting sun. Hal ran up to her, and she smiled.
"Hey there, Hal Harper," she said, smiling.
"Hey there, Allison Lombardi," Hal smiled back. "It's been a long time."
"Yeah, it has," she said.
"I heard you were engaged," he said. "That's wonderful, congratulations."
"Oh, Hal," she replied. "It didn't work out."
"That's too bad," Hal said, not sounding the least bit sincere.
"Yeah," she said, taking his hand. "Too bad."
"What are you doing here?"
"Oh, I heard that world famous filmmaker Hal Harper was going to be let out of jail, and I thought I might stop by and say congratulations on beating the rap."
"Is that all?" Hal asked.
"Not exactly," she winked. "I think I'm ready to get over the past."
"Really?" Hal replied. "That's funny, because so am I."
Then they kissed, and all was right with the world.

Splat!
But then, suddenly, they both were hit by a bus and were killed instantly. There was nothing left of either of them except their splattered bodies all over the pavement.
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Scruffy|SRD Books

Post Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:16 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address
sugarraydodge



Joined: 27 Nov 2007
Posts: 647
Location: Utah
 Reply with quote  

I reworked the ending and the entire short story is going to be available on Saturday, but you guys get a sneak peek because you're my buddies Smile

http://sugarraydodge.com/novels/happy-valley/scruffys-revenge/
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Scruffy|SRD Books

Post Wed Mar 25, 2009 9:21 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address
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