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LOOK AT ME, I'M NEW!!! GIVE ME ATTENTION!!!!
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CrispyHobo



Joined: 05 Feb 2010
Posts: 18
LOOK AT ME, I'M NEW!!! GIVE ME ATTENTION!!!!  Reply with quote  

Well, after being a fan for about 5 or so years, scanning this message board every once and a while during that time, and finally creating a profile about two months ago, I've finally decided to join in on all the fun! Although I do not have pie, so I'll live with it if you fellow fans decide I'm not worthy.

Right now I'm a student, possibly working toward a degree in physics or math, to do something that will beat scrubbing the toilets at a Hobby Lobby in the middle of Missouri (my current employment and location in hell).

I'm thirty seven, have twelve kids (all by different women), can bench press about 380 pounds, own 5 horses, and am known to be a compulsive liar. Razz

Anyway, I am currently reading Island of the Sequined Love Nun for the first time, and only two books away from finishing The Collection (Coyote Blue and Fluke), which I am then expecting some type of a reward from Mr. Moore himself, preferably my own tiny island (and a monkey named Jeff will be included I'm assuming). We get some form of compensation for sitting through all 12, right guys?

So far Fool is my favorite of Chris' spawns, followed by a tie between A Dirty Job and Lust Lizard. After that things get a little fuzzy, mainly because if I start thinking about more than three Moore books at a time the zaniness becomes too much and I have to reach for the nearest bottle of whiskey or syringe to bring me back down to reality.

Also speaking of reality, I'm actually 20, with no kids, engaged (and have pushed Lamb and A Dirty Job on her so far), and can barely lift a full can of Coke let allow whatever amount I made up above that I am too lazy to scroll up to see right now (I'm honestly shocked I find the energy to push these buttons down sometimes).

Which is why I need that fucking monkey Chris!

Post Wed Mar 31, 2010 10:52 pm   View user's profile Send private message
zendao42



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 13570
Location: Somewhere in a galaxy near you
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Very Happy Welcome!

Have some cocoa, it'll warm for the strip search & tastes great with pie-
wait a minute, where's the pie? Shocked

Now, I've got plenty of b'day desserts left but the rest of these pie hounds ain't gonna let you off that easy...

Ya don't gotta bake it yerself, just tell us all about it-
I mean, if you're making things up anyway, why not make them tasty? Wink

BTW, lemme know when you can bench press all 5 horses... Twisted Evil

Post Wed Mar 31, 2010 11:12 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Watching The Wheels



Joined: 22 Dec 2007
Posts: 3412
Location: DC
 Reply with quote  

Hiya!

zendao42 wrote:
Now, I've got plenty of b'day desserts left but the rest of these pie hounds ain't gonna let you off that easy...

Ya don't gotta bake it yerself...

Actually. I recommend baking it yourself. Don't let your future helper-monkey help you bake the pie.

...I don't trust monkey pie.
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Post Thu Apr 01, 2010 4:54 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address
CrispyHobo



Joined: 05 Feb 2010
Posts: 18
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Before I have an angry mob at my doorstep:



Hopefully that'll make up for it.

I feel kinda stupid for writing an introduction and not even putting my name. So hi, my name is Shadoe Sundown Price. Nice to meet you all. Smile

Now, when does the strip search commence?Very Happy

Post Thu Apr 01, 2010 6:40 am   View user's profile Send private message
Wingnut



Joined: 22 Aug 2007
Posts: 2602
Location: Nanaimo, British Columbia
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CrispyHobo wrote:

Now, when does the strip search commence?Very Happy


JOE! We got a live one! *sigh. When will these kids learn? Joe likes KEY LIME pie, not lemon meringue. Ah well. CrispyHobo? You're totally not gonna like Wednesdays.

Hi, and welcome!
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Post Thu Apr 01, 2010 6:58 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail MSN Messenger
lisa



Joined: 10 Apr 2004
Posts: 6789
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I would not recommend the monkey. He is British.

Hi and welcome. I'm not Canadian. I'm not even American. But I loves the pie. Very Happy
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Your religion, you miserable man, begins in your stomach and ends in a lavatory - Nodar Dumbadze

Post Thu Apr 01, 2010 8:41 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
fortune cookie



Joined: 18 Mar 2006
Posts: 10534
Location: Easy street
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So...you brought pie.
Haven't been strip searched.
Have ye een read the rrrules laddie!?
Are ye nekkid?
Sittin ona stack of Moore books?
Look a seagull!
*inspects pie for monkey hairs...*
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We all enter this world in the same way: naked; screaming; soaked in blood.
But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there." Dana Gould

Post Thu Apr 01, 2010 9:22 am   View user's profile Send private message
lisa



Joined: 10 Apr 2004
Posts: 6789
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Your religion, you miserable man, begins in your stomach and ends in a lavatory - Nodar Dumbadze

Post Thu Apr 01, 2010 10:17 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
girlEgirl



Joined: 19 Oct 2007
Posts: 6412
Location: olympia, wa
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clowns are people too...people who want to hurt you.

Post Thu Apr 01, 2010 5:58 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Wonko



Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 4787
Location: ...but it's a hot heat
Re: LOOK AT ME, I'M NEW!!! GIVE ME ATTENTION!!!!  Reply with quote  

CrispyHobo wrote:

We get some form of compensation for sitting through all 12, right guys?


The reward is many hours of enjoyment and riotous laughter.

The term 'compensation' makes it sound like you feel as if you completed some arduous task which was unpleasant in its undertaking, and would require no small recompense to make your suffering worthwhile. I trust that is not the way you meant it to sound. If you did, you are in the wrong place.
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Post Thu Apr 01, 2010 7:21 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
CrispyHobo



Joined: 05 Feb 2010
Posts: 18
 Reply with quote  

Quote:

The term 'compensation' makes it sound like you feel as if you completed some arduous task which was unpleasant in its undertaking, and would require no small recompense to make your suffering worthwhile. I trust that is not the way you meant it to sound. If you did, you are in the wrong place.


Oh, I know. But I only say it only in jest. Smile The AG seems to have a good sense of humor so I'm not worried of offending.


And yes I am indeed naked and sitting on my Moore stack, right now wondering how I'm going to get this assprint out of my copy of Lamb. Shocked

Post Thu Apr 01, 2010 7:56 pm   View user's profile Send private message
fortune cookie



Joined: 18 Mar 2006
Posts: 10534
Location: Easy street
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CrispyHobo wrote:
Quote:

The term 'compensation' makes it sound like you feel as if you completed some arduous task which was unpleasant in its undertaking, and would require no small recompense to make your suffering worthwhile. I trust that is not the way you meant it to sound. If you did, you are in the wrong place.


Oh, I know. But I only say it only in jest. Smile The AG seems to have a good sense of humor so I'm not worried of offending.


And yes I am indeed naked and sitting on my Moore stack, right now wondering how I'm going to get this assprint out of my copy of Lamb. Shocked


Tis customary to place a towel or other such barrier twixt thine sweaty arse
and the holy tomes which are the books of The AG. n00b. Wink
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We all enter this world in the same way: naked; screaming; soaked in blood.
But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there." Dana Gould

Post Thu Apr 01, 2010 10:02 pm   View user's profile Send private message
Sephonae



Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 5218
Location: New York
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Welcome, Crispy.

Hey, WTW, 'twould appear you now have a Fruitbat with whom you may indulge your evil math-ish tendencies.

::shudders::
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Post Fri Apr 02, 2010 2:13 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
CarbonFragments



Joined: 06 Jan 2009
Posts: 81
Location: NOLA
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Math huh? We don't be takin kin-dly to random numbers round here...

Dough, *spits into a copper pot* you did be resistin ta make one of dem smart peoples math jokes by posting "Pi" in place of da eats. *spits into a copper pot then sniffs loudly* I guessin you might be alright round these parts den...

Whew, now that I have that out of my system. Welcome!

Post Tue Apr 06, 2010 5:52 am   View user's profile Send private message
Stewies Mom



Joined: 13 Jun 2009
Posts: 877
Location: totally thinking it should cool off again
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Hallo, Hobo!
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Whaaaa?

Post Tue Apr 06, 2010 6:06 pm   View user's profile Send private message
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