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Chain Story 2: Electric Boogaloo
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Regina



Joined: 02 Mar 2005
Posts: 952
Location: Northeast U.S
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till tied to the damn pole, John continued his struggle against the rope all the while keeping an eye on the flesh eating babies who kept on eating flesh.

John thought, "I might choke on my own vomit before the zombie babies ever get to me."

Luckily for him, the sun began to rise and the zombie babies had to crawl for cover. Daylight brought a whole new set of problems for John, such as

Post Tue Apr 12, 2005 12:00 pm   View user's profile Send private message
y



Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 3858
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Daylight brought a whole new set of problems for John, such as maggots. There were hundreds and thousands of maggots squirming around in the piles and piles of poop. John once again began to struggle against his bonds when he noticed what looked like a little tiny pink sign hanging off one of the nearby corn husks. John wiggled his naked self over to the corn and could barely believe his eyes. It really was a tiny pink sign. A tiny pink sign no bigger than a quarter and it was edged in pink lace and rhinestones. There was pink writing on the sign that was slightly darker than the background. Wishing he could rub his eyes to get a clearer view, John furiously blinked in a lame attempt to rid of his eyes of dirt and sweat. Focusing all of his his concentration on the sign, it read, “Pull me to experience freedom.”

Thinking, hey what else have I got to loose, John stretched his neck as far as he could, put the tiny sign in his mouth and clenched it between his teeth. He only gave it the slightest of tugs when…

Post Tue Apr 12, 2005 12:48 pm   View user's profile Send private message
Regina



Joined: 02 Mar 2005
Posts: 952
Location: Northeast U.S
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“Pull me to experience freedom.”

Thinking, hey what else have I got to loose, John stretched his neck as far as he could, put the tiny sign in his mouth and clenched it between his teeth. He only gave it the slightest of tugs when he felt himself break free from the ties binding him to the poile. No sooner had he hit the ground, however thain it be to shake rattle and rool, and not in the Jerry Lee Lewis fun kind of way.
John was certain that he was going to die, and soiled his diaper. He was surprised when everything suddenly stopped.

A hail of gunfire burst over head and he ducked into a treenh for cover.

"What the helll?" John exclaimed. He was in the trench with several wounded soldiers.

"Hey man." said one particularly gnarled old man in fatigues, "Flip over the paper you got in your hand there- that should explain it."

John looked, "It says Fighting. I don't understand."

"Pu it together with whats on the other side, you idiot."

"Pull me to experience freedom fighting."


"Oh no!" John shouted as....

Post Wed Apr 13, 2005 9:11 am   View user's profile Send private message
y



Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 3858
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"Oh no!" John shouted as the sky continued to rain shrapnel. "Oh noooo!"

He looked around to see all of the beautiful and lush greenery of the corn fields were now reduced to nothing but reddish-brown dirt. Everywhere he looked all he saw was people in camo gear and dirt. His ears were beginning to ache from the constant noise of the guns.

"Man, I wish I had more on then just a diaper."

"WHAT WAS THAT SON? YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SPEAK UP IF YOU WANT ME TO HEAR YOU."

"OH. SORRY. I DID NOT KNOW I WAS SPEAKING OUT LOUD." John yelled to the man who found him. "SORRY."

In response the man saluted John and pointed over his left shoulder. John followed the man's finger and could not believe his eyes. Right there, in the middle of this war zone was...

Post Wed Apr 13, 2005 1:25 pm   View user's profile Send private message
Regina



Joined: 02 Mar 2005
Posts: 952
Location: Northeast U.S
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Right there, in the middle of this war zone was a bronze statue of Y wearing a beautiful Huggies Diaper and a T-shirt with the letters "Change Me!" sculpted demandingly across her chest.

'WHo is this goddess?" John queried as the sound of a bomb falling flooded his ears.

No one heard his question for they were engaged in fighting....

"FOR FREEDOM!!!!" screamed the man who directed John to the statue. They charged forward while John ran to hide behind the bronzed Y.

Suddenly, the statue moved, and reached down a huge bronze hand and said, "Come with me."

John was once again grateful for the diaper he himself wore as he took the hand offered and....

Post Thu Apr 14, 2005 1:17 pm   View user's profile Send private message
y



Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 3858
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John was once again grateful for the diaper he himself wore as he took the hand offered and followed the bronze goddess off the podium. As soon she had both feet on the ground, the earth began to rumble.

"What now!" shouted John, "What now?"

The bronze goddess simply stood holding John's hand as the earth began to form into a floating platform. Steadily they began to climb higher and higher into the sky. John took a timid look over the side of the platform and watched the battle raging on below. It reminded him of playing with his little green plastic solidiers. "Man, I wish I was home." John sighed.

"What was that?" the goddess replied.

John turned to answer the bronzed goddess but was overcome with shock when he saw that she was no longer bronze. Instead of looking like an island goddess, she now looked a lot like Reva! Complete with a peaches and cream complextion. Her white t-shirt sparkled with rows and rows of diamonds spelling out the enchanting words: "Change Me!"

"Reva? Is that you?" John's voice trembled and he hoped the goddess would think it was from the movement of the platform.

"No, my name's Yolanda."

"Yolanda." John let the letters roll off his tongue. "Yolanda. Then how come the inscription...er writing on your diaper says 'Y' keeper of Huggies?"

"Why?" she spat out in a heavy Yorkinese accent, "Why? I'll tell ya why. Those damn lazy S.o.b.'s were tired. Can you belive that shit? They were tired. Who the hell stops in the final stages of sculpting a goddess?"

John continued to gaze at the goddess with blind confusion. He no longer knew if he was coming or going. If only he had...

Post Thu Apr 14, 2005 1:59 pm   View user's profile Send private message
Regina



Joined: 02 Mar 2005
Posts: 952
Location: Northeast U.S
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John continued to gaze at the goddess with blind confusion. He no longer knew if he was coming or going. If only he had pants. He was disheartened when he realize dthe Goddess now holding his hand did not share his interest in diapers.

As the two crinkled away from the bloody battle, John asked, 'Where are we going?"

"We are going to a clothing store. Do you think ny t-shirt is kidding about its demands? I'm a fully grown goddess. I have no need for dipaers."

"Well, if you're going to throw it away, can I have it?" John asked hopefully.

The goddess looked at John and said.....

Post Fri Apr 15, 2005 10:37 am   View user's profile Send private message
y



Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 3858
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The goddess looked at John and cooed, “Baby, listen up okay? I’m only gonna tell you this one time.”
“Kay. Please go on.”
“I’m here to help you with one task that has nothing to do with mooching off of my exquisite taste. I’m here to help you get back together with my sister/mother Reva.”
“Really? Reva? I’m so excite- wait a minute, did you say ‘sister mother’?”
“Yeah. Some sort of Jerry Springer kind of shit. My parents broke up and my dad moved in with his boyfriend and my mom’s boyfriend fell in love with my sister and ran off with her. They had me.”
“W-O-W.” John just didn’t know what else to say. Fortunately for him he didn’t have to say anything. The platform stopped moving.
“Well, here we are!” Yolanda sang in her best “Glenda the Good Witch’ voice.
“Where are we?”
“We’re…..

Post Fri Apr 15, 2005 1:23 pm   View user's profile Send private message
Regina



Joined: 02 Mar 2005
Posts: 952
Location: Northeast U.S
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“Where are we?”

“We’re in Oz, sweet cheeks. We have to fnd the authentic ruby slippers if you want to win Reva back. Oh, and also, we need to cure you of this unfortunate diaper habit.The best way i know how to do that is a tour through Munchkinland."

"But I LIKE my diaper habit," John whined.

"I hate to break it to you, but its really unnattractive. Particularly the fact that you crinkle when you walk."

John whimpered.

"Would you rather be hanging out with the zombie babies again?"

"I see your point."

"Okay, then here's what we have to do..."

Post Sun Apr 17, 2005 9:26 am   View user's profile Send private message
y



Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 3858
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"Okay, then here's what we have to do..." Yolanda started while anxiously rubbing her hands together and giving John a toothy grin, "first off we need to find you some underpants."

"Pants. Right. I need pants."

"Under pants."

"Right. Pants."

"John, we could do this the easy way or the hard way - the choice is yours."

Upon hearing these words, John's whole life began flashing in front of him. He remembered meeting Reva for the first time. Her eyes wickedly dancing with joy as she introduced him to Mother. Oh Mother. The first time he wore a diaper (as a grown man) and used a pacifier in a non-recommended way. Mother. He missed them both. With a heavy sigh, John reluctanlty decided to follow Yolanda's plan. He wanted both Reva and Mother back in his life.

"Yolanda, let's go find me some under pants!"

"Okay! Here we go!" As the words left Yolanda's lips, she grabbed John's hand and thust her other hand straight up into the sky. Nothing happened. John stood there expecting to be soaring through the air or something equally as strange, but nothing happened. He turned back to speak to Yolanda, but she was once again a beautifully bronzed statue. This time instead of a diaper and t-shirt, she was left in some lacey lingerie. John was about to take the panties off of the statue for himself when...

Post Tue May 03, 2005 12:36 pm   View user's profile Send private message
Regina



Joined: 02 Mar 2005
Posts: 952
Location: Northeast U.S
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This time instead of a diaper and t-shirt, she was left in some lacey lingerie. John was about to take the panties off of the statue for himself when he realized that he was inside a department store after hours. At his feet was a ladies purse. He picked it up, opened it and found it suffed with cahs, and nothing else.

John was happy to have found the cash, but slightly disappointed that there was nothing snoop-worthy contained within.

His ass twitched as it was itchy from wearing the diaper for too long. Glancing around the store, he saw a huge sign pointing toward the rest rooms. John sighed with relief and headed in its direction. The sudden stroke of good fortune he was experiencing continued as he passed the men's underwear section on the way. Grabbing a prepackaged set of three from the display, he moved swiftly toward sanctuary.

Closing himself in a stall, and locking the door out of habit, he ripped off the befouled diaper and squatted on a freshly scrubbed toilet. He smiled like a baby does after it farts as he dropped of the extra load he'd been carrying. Tearing open the package as the last pebble fell, he heard footsteps. "This is awkward," he thought as he lifted his legs so his feet could not be seen through the opening under the stall door. Calling up memories of a yoga class another ex once made him take, John managed to wipe himself clean while in this position, a testament to the skill of the instructor and John's impressive natural flexibility.

"Hello?" a slightly familiar male voice called out.

John held his breath and his position as the footsteps drew closer.

He could see the person had stopped in front of his stall.

"I know someone's in there. It's the only closed door."

The man tried to push the door open and failed. John's heart raced, as he hoped that whoever it was would take the next logical step and stick his head under the door.

A few seconds passed and John's fear came to be when the person did, indeed, place his head periclously close to the floor and peered in.

"John?"

"What the- Mother?"

"Dude, how the hell have you been maintaining that position?"

"Yoga."

"Oh."

John waited for Mother to give him some privacy so he could stand and pull on his new undies. Mother stayed right where he was.

"Mother, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Well......

Post Thu May 05, 2005 5:06 pm   View user's profile Send private message
jaandlu



Joined: 17 Apr 2005
Posts: 4578
Location: Location, location, location.
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"Mother, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Well It's kind of a wierd story." said Mother gazing at his brother with an strange exspression. Or maybe it was just the look ones gets when looking under a stall door."What are you doing here?"

"Do you mind?" asked John

"No, not at all." Mother smiled but didn't move.

"I mean could you give me a sec." John said.

"Take all the time you want I'm listening." Brother stayed put, obviosly not getting it.

Mother wasn't much for social graces or picking up on hints. John realised it simply didn't occur to Mother that this was an odd position to be having a conversation. John's legs began to cramp. "Back up bro, I'm coming out."he said.

As John came out Mother said "So, you cuttin out on the Huggies little bro?"

John was holdin the package of "proper" underpants, minus one. "So what's the wierd story?" John said thinking can't be wierder than how he got there.

Well as you were raising that pipe to brain me earlier...
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I honestly never thought I would live this long. Now I don't know what to do with myself.

Post Sat May 07, 2005 5:55 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
y



Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 3858
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"Well as you were raising that pipe to brain me earlier, it hit me-"

"Yeah, I'm kind of sorry about that."

"NO you idiot, not the pipe, although it did hurt like hell, my epiphany. You and Reva just don't make any sense together."

"W-H-A-T??"

"You heard me. Reva and I are in love. We're getting married in a few weeks, and I just thought you should hear it from me first."

John stood there is shock. He was holding such a deep breath that his new man drawers were beginning to slide down his pastey white thighs.
"M...Ma...Married? How? I mean, she said yes?"

"Hey man, don't take it so rough. Pull up your drawers and let's get on with this process. I'm hear to help you straighten your life out and find a decent woman...maybe a man, for yourself."

"But Mother!"

"Don't 'but mother' me young man. You'd...

Post Sat May 14, 2005 6:32 am   View user's profile Send private message
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"Don't 'but mother' me young man. You'd still be shoving guine pigs up your ass if it weren't for me. You'd be lost without me and you know it."

"Your were the one who taught me the guine pig trick."

"My point exactly. Now let's figure out where you are at."

"Hey that's a good question. And how did I get here?"

"Ma and Pa fucked. Didn't you take your sex ed class?" Mother rolled his eyes. "Have you ever considered taking therapy?"

"Jesus mother the strangest thing has happened to me. I'm sure it goes way outside of therapy. Let's go back to your epiphanie. At that moment what happened to me?" John was feeling a bit annoyed and confused at how bizzar this had all been and how casually Mother seemed to be taking it.

"Your always so self centered John." "What about me, what about me?" Mother whined mockingly. I had an epiphanie that you and Reva..."

"Yes yes I know but how did I end up in that corn field, unconsious, tied to a pole, surrounded by zombie babies, transported to a battlefield full of freedom fighters, and finally taken here by a bronze statue via Oz for some unknown reason?" As he spoke John realized how crazed he sounded.

"Slow down little bro. I must have hit you harder than I thought. Why don't we discuse things over a drink. Come on, there's a Milliways up there that's allready got our reservation."

"Milliways, isn't that the restraunt at the end..." John started but thought better of it.

"The end of the block, yeah that's the one." Milliways was a small dive bar at the end of the block. Restraunts and bars were all the same to Mother. His reservation was his size.

John followed Mother through the department store and out an emergency exit. The alarm sounded, Mother didn't react so John didn't either. They walked to the end of the block, the alarm sounding. The police cars were just arriving as they walked into Milliways. There behind the bar stood Yolanda. She smiled and winked at John. "What'll be yer poison boys?" She was giving her best southern draw.

John gaped, Mother spoke up. "Pitcher of beer. And what ever for my missguided brother here."

"Beer will be fine."

Y handed the pitcher and a pint glass over to Mother and smiled turn to John and laid down a beer and winked, again. John was starting to wonder if Y had something in her eye.

Mother slammed back the beer and kept on going back all the way to the floor, all in one fluid motion. Y grabed John by the hand and said "Come on we have work to do."

Y pulled John through the front door but outside was not the street he had expected. Looming over him...

Post Sat May 14, 2005 12:39 pm   
y



Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 3858
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Looming over him was a huge dark cloud. I knew I wearing grown up pants was a bad thing John thought to himself.
"Hey Mother?"
"Yeah little bro?"
"You see that thing up there?"
"Up where?"
"Look, up in the sky."
"Oh yeah. I see it. It kind of looks like a bird."
"Really, I thought it was a plane?"
"No you twits." Y cut in, "Its the Pixie-dactyl!"
"The Pixie-what?" Mother asked.
"The Pixie-dactyl. I.E. our ride!"
"Our ride to where?"
Straight to hell if I don't wake up soon John thought while staring at the huge bird landing in front of him.
"Well H'ello there blokes" the bird said in his pseudo Brittish accent. "Hop on and 'old on."
"Mother, I'm afraid!" John squeaked as he held Mother's hand.
"Now, now little Bro, there's no need to be afraid. Just climb aboard, close your eyes, and squeeze your legs together really tight."
"Mother, I don't see on how that position is going to help me loose my fear of flying. I mean not to mention it's highly inappropriate to bring up last week in-"
"Shut up litte Bro. Just...

Post Mon May 16, 2005 4:19 pm   View user's profile Send private message
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