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Chain Story 3: Trinity- or The Singular Plague of the Jackal
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"I can't do it myself you know."
"So all I have to do, is reach over and push that little button on your tattoo of Chris Moore, which is located between your shoulder blades?"
"What tattoo of Chris Moore?"
"Oh, um never mind."
"No the button is located at the top of my buttocks. Gee, I always wanted to say that out loud. It has nice alliteration doesn't it?"
Anubis rolled his eyes and smote a lingering minion whom he had once overheard use the derogatory nickname, A-boob-is.
"Ah, I feel better."
"I don't"
"Well, too bad for you. Get your butt in gear missy, you've got work to do!"

As Katarine retreated, Anubis wondered if the Chris Moore Tattoo on her back worked like voodoo, and if the author felt it when someone smacked her....

Post Fri Jul 15, 2005 4:46 pm   
Regina



Joined: 02 Mar 2005
Posts: 952
Location: Northeast U.S
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that was me btw oops!

Post Sat Jul 16, 2005 12:15 am   View user's profile Send private message
KatarinaNavane



Joined: 26 Nov 2004
Posts: 908
Location: Athens Ohio
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Author's notes: Kat reached over and poked Regina. "It's Katarina! Not Katarine!"
By the way, I'm going to be a power hog and come up with the last three powers myself so we can get on with it. Besides, they're MY powers ^_^ mua ha ha....

Meanwhile, back in the story...
"So, how many powers is that?" Katarina inquired.
"You've got three." replied her slightly exasperated uncle. "Now would you PLEASE hurry up and come up with them so we can get on with our lives?"
"Fine fine. Awesome, three more. You said something about "magical author powers" earlier, can I keep some of those?"
"Sure, which do you want?"
"Limited time travel--five minute rewind. I can turn back time up to five minutes and replay it, doing things differently if I like."
"Fine, rewind. Got it. Two more."
"I want to be able to change perception (A/N: Almost typed 'Peception" again lol) of smells and tastes."
"Right..."
"Especially of Pie ^_^"
"Enough with the pie!"
"And finally, I want the ability to create and control fire."
"Ok. So you want Pie, undistinguishableness, Ideas, rewind, smells and tastes, and fire."
"Yup."
"Well that's easy enough, I just want to know why you didn't want better powers. Like take-over-the-world-power, or make-everyone-of-the-opposite-sex-do-what-i-want-power."
"I've already got that second one. It's called boobs."
"..."
"What time is this date anyway?"
The once-powerful diety glanced at his Mickey Mouse watch. "Crapola, you're late. You're late. You'd better get going."
"Crap, I forgot about the power to be home before The Daily Show starts..."
"Too bad! No takebacks! Now Go!"
And so she went, unknowingly taking the first steps to face her destiny.
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Post Sat Jul 16, 2005 6:29 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address MSN Messenger
jaandlu



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The Dirty Red Jackel farted and let out a belch while tucking his hand into his trousers just to "check". "Damn phantom boner." he said.

Katarina came up behind him and smiled.
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Post Sun Jul 17, 2005 11:14 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
y



Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 3858
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Katarina came up behind him and smiled.
"Pie?"
"What? Who said that?"
The jackal turned around to see the lovely Katarina decked out in what looked like Tomb Raider gear - hot pants and a tank top and definitely packing some heat. He started to drool.
"You looked upset, so I was offering you some pie. You know, pie always makes you feel better."
"Unless that pie is going to return my man bits, it definitely won't be cheering me up."
"Fine, if you're going to be that way about it - "
Instantly Katarina's clothing changed from Tomb Raider to Matrix style. The sky darkened. Lightening flashed and thunder clapped. It began to rain. In a loud bellowing voice Katarina began again:
"Dirty Red Jackal, I'm here to...

Post Sun Jul 17, 2005 11:26 am   View user's profile Send private message
KatarinaNavane



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"I"m here to..."
Jackal seemed frightened at the illusions, so she let them fall with a sigh, appearing in relatively normal (though still pretty sexy) clothes (in turquoise and black with lots of jewelry.)
"I'm here for the date," she flirtatously said. "Is there some kind of plan or are we being called upon to wing it?"
"Don't know, don't care," he told her boobs. She noticed the suspiscious bulge in his pants, and quickly manifested a pie upside-down in the air directly above it and let go."I've got a boyfriend in another dimention, so don't try anything."
Jackal pondered the pie in his lap. "Don't worry," he said in a Marvin the Paranoid Android-like manner "I won't try anything. Not like I could..."
"Good."
"Now, how exactly am I supposed to stand up?"
"Good question."
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Post Mon Jul 18, 2005 6:21 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address MSN Messenger
KatarinaNavane



Joined: 26 Nov 2004
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And then the fourth wall shattered...

"Wait a minute!" shouted the Author Katarina Navane. "I was under the impression that Dirty Red Jackal only had his balls chopped off, but as Ja has so Kindly pointed out, I was mistaken, and the whole package is gone."
The Character Katarina Navane interjected, "I didn't know any of it was gone."
"That is what we call Dramatic Irony, where the audience knows something the character does not," said the Author.
"But how can you know something that I don't? We're the same person!"
"Riiiight......"
"Hmph."muttered the Character and wandered off.
"Anyway," said the Author, "Lets just asume that last bit never happened (but I'm not erasing it because I thought it was funny.) Lets just asume that, instead, DRJ said something naughty and Character KN hit him in the face with a pie.
Moving on..."

And the fourth wall re-formed itsself with a small 'click'
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Post Fri Aug 12, 2005 10:21 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address MSN Messenger
jaandlu



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DRJ was confused.

The authors all smiled.

DRJ shook his head.

The authors all shook there bellies.

DRJ turned a shade redder.

The authors were turning purple from lack of oxygen to the brain.

DRJ began to seethe with rage and breath rapidly.

The authors couldn’t breath from laughing so hard.

____________________________________________________________________
Katarina smiled and took DRJ by the leash that suddenly appeared around his neck. “You will follow me” said Katarina

DRJ was covered in pie. He was seething with a mixture hate and fear. His left eyeball stung from the key lime pie that Katarina had thrown. DRJ hated key lime pie. DRJ looked down at the ground as he walked. He suddenly felt a strange desire to wash his head at the world. He began to think of how satisfying it would be to call up old Anubis and dunk his head at him.

The leash caught DRJ’s eye for a second and brought him out of his consuming thoughts. As his eyes followed the leash up to it’s holder his brain cracked. Katarina was gone and now he was being guided by something he could not distinguish. He tried to focus but as he would start to see something he could define it morphed into something else. He lost all his rage and began feeling queasy. The thing before him to which he was tied refused to take shape. DRJ vomited.

“What’s wrong kid?” Katarina said. DRJ looked up to find himself still tied to Anibus’s niece. “Need some pie?” A key lime pie suddenly flew out of nowhere and hit DRJ in the face.

____________________________________________________________________
DRJ was covered in pie. He was seething with a mixture hate and fear. His Right eyeball stung from the black berry pie that Katarina had thrown. DRJ hated black berry pie. DRJ looked down at the ground as he walked. He suddenly felt a strange desire to pick his nose at the world. He began to think of how satisfying it would be to call up old Anubis and pick a bugger at him.

The leash caught DRJ’s eye for a second and brought him out of his consuming thoughts. As his eyes followed the leash up to it’s holder his brain split. Katarina was gone and now he was being guided by something he could not distinguish. He tried to focus but as he would start to see something he could define it morphed into something else. He lost all his rage and began feeling queasy. The thing before him to which he was tied refused to take shape. DRJ vomited and suddenly had the urge to eat it. As he was doing so he heard a voice.

“What’s wrong kid?” Katarina said. DRJ looked up to find himself still tied to Anibus’s niece. “Need some pie?” A black berry pie suddenly flew out of nowhere and hit DRJ in the face.

____________________________________________________________________
DRJ was covered in pie. He was seething with a mixture hate and fear. His nose stung from the pineapple pie that Katarina had thrown. DRJ hated pineapple pie. DRJ looked down at the ground as he walked. He suddenly felt a strange desire to eat raw chicken. He began to think of how satisfying it would be to call up old Anubis and eat raw chicken at him.

The leash caught DRJ’s eye for a second and brought him out of his consuming thoughts. As his eyes followed the leash up to it’s holder and his brain divided and melted away. Katarina was gone and now he was being guided by something he could not distinguish. He tried to focus but as he would start to see something he could define it morphed into something else. He lost all his rage and began feeling queasy. The thing before him to which he was tied refused to take shape. DRJ vomited and suddenly had the urge to eat it. As he was doing so he heard a voice.

“What’s wrong kid?” Katarina said. DRJ looked up to find himself still tied to Anibus’s niece. “Need some pie?” A pineapple pie suddenly flew out of nowhere and hit DRJ in the face.

Post Sat Aug 13, 2005 11:21 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Regina



Joined: 02 Mar 2005
Posts: 952
Location: Northeast U.S
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Shocked

A siren sounded and the flashing lights of a police cruiser blinded K.N and DRJ.

The car screeched to a halt and a megaphone bearing officer stepped out.

"Put your hands up and step away from the pie!" The officer's voice boomed.

Post Tue Aug 16, 2005 5:46 pm   View user's profile Send private message
KatarinaNavane



Joined: 26 Nov 2004
Posts: 908
Location: Athens Ohio
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*replay*
"Put your hands up and Woof! Woof!" The officer's voice boomed. "Why did I just get the urge to bark?"

Katarina giggled and went undefinable. "Want some pie?" she asked to the world at large, and offered a large apple pie to the cop.
He looked confused. The idea of peeing on fire hydrants and licking his own balls in public drove all other thoughts from his mind, and he ran panting into the distance.
"Does anyone have any idea what's going on?" shouted DRJ
"NO!" shouted all of the authors.
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Post Wed Aug 17, 2005 4:44 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address MSN Messenger
jaandlu



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*replay*
"Put your hands up or I’ll pick my nose!" The officer's voice boomed. "Why did I just get the urge to pick my nose?"

Katarina giggled and went undefinable. "Want some pie?" she asked to the world at large, and offered a large pumpkin pie to the cop.
He looked like a reindeer. The idea of yoking himself to a large slay and flying through the air drove all other thoughts from his mind, and he ran panting into the distance.
"Does anyone have any idea what's going on?" shouted DRJ
"NO!" shouted all of the authors. And they laughed.

DRJ was suddenly hit by a vanilla cream pie.
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Post Wed Aug 17, 2005 7:13 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Regina



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Posts: 952
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DRJ's eyes bulged most unbecomingly.

"Hey, that white creamy goodness reminds me of..."

Post Wed Aug 17, 2005 9:46 pm   View user's profile Send private message
y



Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 3858
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"Hey, that white creamy goodness reminds me of shaving cream. It's been a while since I've done that. Do you think I need it KN?"
"Nah. You look good scruffy. I mean you like fine. I mean you look Okay. I mean..."
"Hey KN, are you trying to tell me you're finally going to let me get a taste of your fine pie?"
"WHAT?"
"You know, I may not have the bits anymore, but I've got other ways to..." DJR was cut off by a shower of pies. All different kinds were flinging at him from all different directions. Of course all of these pies were made in cast iron pans that made a lovely clanging noise as they bounced off his head.
"Hey! KN! I was just kidding!"
But the pie assualt showed no sign of stopping. More and more pies kept flinging at DJR. The ground of was quickly becomming littered with pie pans and filling causing DJR to fall helplessly on his back.
"Now that I've got your full attention," KN began, "I want you..."
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Post Mon Aug 22, 2005 9:29 am   View user's profile Send private message
KatarinaNavane



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Location: Athens Ohio
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Author Kat: Wow, Y is naughty!
Character Kat: I thought DRJ was naughty...
Author Kat: >_< Nevermind

"I want you to think back. Do you remember when I told you I have a boyfriend in another dimention?"
"No..." DRJ replied
"Oh right, that me in another dimention deleted that from your memory. Well I do."
"So?"
"So don't try anything."
"Not even-"
"No."
"What about-"
"No."
"What if-"
"No."
"But maybe-"
"What part of 'No' don't you understand!?"
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Post Tue Aug 23, 2005 6:31 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address MSN Messenger
jaandlu



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Three pies came out of nowhere and hit DRJ in the head.

“Hey, who did that? I only thought up one pie.” said Katarina.
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Post Tue Aug 23, 2005 6:35 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
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