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Kate R

Vagasil  Reply with quote  

“I miss you. A Vagasil ad came on today about itch and odor, and your dad didn’t even think it was funny.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah, you know it’s that one we crack up about. Where the woman gets better and then goes to exercise class.”
“Oh yeah, and flaps her arms all around. Flap flap flap. It makes me think more of a deodorant. Like ‘wow, she must be confident, flapping her arms all over the place. She must have some miiiiighty fine deodorant.’”
“I see what you mean. Oh, here comes Dad now. I’d better go get dressed or he’ll get pissy. We’re going out with the Klomparens tonight, some dinner theatre thing.”
“And I bet you’ll get to spend the whole evening hearing about Jackie in Africa, you know, what she’s doing, how great she is, what kind of work she’s doing, how she has to walk two hours to the well…”
“Just stop. I forgot she even went. I’m sure we will hear all about it though, but that just means I’ll call you later and we can rip on her. Now I’ve really gotta go. See you soon honey! I LOVE YOU!”
“Yeah, you too. Have fun! Bye.”
Cressie snapped her flip-phone shut with a hint of a smirk. Vagasil. Hehe. She felt a little niggle of guilt at the schadenfreude she felt about Jackie’s study abroad in Africa, how part of her wanted the experience to be less than ideal, but she shut that window of introspection with a snap. Truth was, Cressie couldn’t stand one more holiday paling in comparison to Jackie’s broad educational goals – aside from attending a private college and being a genuinely nice person excited about her plans for the future (international law, anyone?) – it mainly just depressed Cressie about her own state of affairs. Hah. Teaching is not exactly glamorous.
“I AM SO PISSED!” The front door slammed, causing the decorative plates on the wall to clank dangerously, in the way that preceded pottery shards all over the carpet and bandages on the toes.
JoAnn, Cressie’s fiery little spit-ball of a roommate, came stalking through the door. Cressie cringed as she threw her purse on the front table and grabbed a beer from the fridge.
“So, how’d things go down at the hotel?” Although it really ought to have been obvious, Cressie felt obligated to ask as a token of roommate solidarity.
“Yeah, so just as I was getting cut I got sat with a table of two. Okay, fine, I figured I’d make some money so whatever. Anyway, both of them order these really expensive steaks, with a side salad and everything, and then they decided that they wanted some cocktails. The guy orders a martini, and the girl orders the same, so I go to the bar and get them their martinis. I drop them off at the table, and about five minutes later the guy flags me down from all the way across the restaurant – ‘EXCUSE ME MISS! We need some service over here!’ – forcing me to practically run over there to shut him up, and he points to his martini glass and there is a screw and a washer right there at the bottom of the glass. He tells me that our blender must be broken and that he’s not paying for it.”
“The blender? But…”
“Yeah, martinis aren’t made in a blender. Besides, we don’t serve blended drinks. We don’t even OWN a blender, well not in the bar at least. And the glass is clear, I think I would have noticed a big screw in the bottom! Anyway, he demands to see my manager, and my manager comps the whole bill! So, they eat for free and I don’t even get a tip! AAargh! And they had me running around the whole night bringing them more ranch and everything else.”
“Those cheap bastards.”
“Yeah, really though. I’m PISSED. I just waited around there for nothing. Grrr.”
Cressie cocked her head to the side. “You’ve gotta be just a little bit impressed though at their creativity – I mean, sure it was kinda suspicious with a martini, but in a daiquiri or something that could be a free ticket to a lot of meals. Maybe we should go out and get some screws.”
“Admire their creativity? That is sooo the teacher in you talking.”

AND what little story there was fittered out at this point. Sorry for lack of plot, character development, or anything really. Just thought the Vagasil part was amusing…..

Post Sun Sep 11, 2005 12:27 am   
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