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AN AGENT WANTS MORE!!!!!!!!!

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knikkki



Joined: 13 Jun 2005
Posts: 3145
Location: Davis, CA
AN AGENT WANTS MORE!!!!!!!!!  Reply with quote  

She said, and I quote ... With a query like that, how could I not ask for more? YEAH! I knew it had to be somewhat appealing. So, she asked for the first 50 pages, a bio, and an OUTLINE ...

Does anybody know how to write an outline?

Do you know how good it feels NOT to get a form letter telling me to keep trying? Well, REALLY REALLY good!
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Post Tue Nov 08, 2005 3:26 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Kate R



Joined: 29 Sep 2005
Posts: 463
 Reply with quote  

Awesome! Post your letter if you feel like it. Know nothing about writing though, sorry. You should wait for Chris on that one.

Post Tue Nov 08, 2005 5:33 pm   View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
knikkki



Joined: 13 Jun 2005
Posts: 3145
Location: Davis, CA
I've felt really insecure about my letter ...  Reply with quote  

Because, you know, it kept getting rejected. But now that somebody actually said they liked it, I feel better about posting it. Certainly, it's not a "traditional" query letter, but I just couldn't go that way ...

Dear Your Name Here,

Please allow me to introduce you to All Encompassing Trip, a quirky work of fiction 94,000 words in length. Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.

In the Beginning ….

Somewhere in Milpitas, Chuckie Rightwing invites Jesus Christ to live in his heart. He does this every day. Thus far J.C. has been extended 8,132 invitations to live in Chuckie’s heart. We’re not sure if Christ hasn’t received Chuckie’s request, or if he just hasn’t RSVP’d yet. Regardless, the invitation stands, and Christ has his own bedroom with a portico, a down comforter and a twelve-inch replica of himself hanging on the cross.

In Berkeley, Devi Demi Dai, a vegan, sits down to a meal of tofu with organic flower petals. She burps, loudly, and thanks the Goddess for the opportunity to purge the toxins from her body. Later, the tofu will give her another kind of gas. She’ll be equally grateful for the cleansing flatulence.

In downtown San Francisco, Kassen Kyle, a medically certified commitment-phobe considers his options for the evening. As usual he has three events to choose from, and three times as many women slated to accompany him. There will be several disappointments. Nikki used to be a front-runner in the rotation, but he sent her to the minors and rarely calls her up to the bigs.

In Chicago, Oprah films her show. In the woods, a coyote sleeps. In Jamaica, a 7-½ foot tall bald black man is having his entire body covered in tattoos. On television, a Leprechaun dances around his cereal bowl. They’re magically delicious.

A normal day.


In a world where coffee is no longer available, the only television shows are reality tv re-runs, and the animals are talking back, Nikki Nasco, joined by her Boot Camp Instructor Amber Lawson, and a singing Coyote in a do-rag are out to restore the light (and hopefully prevent Nikki’s eyes from being stolen by an Irish midget.)

When they got outside Lefty was waiting in the darkness. His eyes glowed and his white do-rag showed brightly against the dark sky.

“You got a dog, Nik?”

“Not a dog, it’s a coyote, and there’s more. He – “

“Is that a do-rag, Nik?” Amber interrupts.

“Uh, yeah, but there’s m---“

This time Lefty interrupted. “Ahem. Three, it’s the magic number, yes it is, the magic number. Somewhere in the ancient mystic trinity, you get three, as a magic number.”

“Is that Schoolhouse Rock, Nik?”

Before Nikki could answer two things happened. First, the sky lightened just a shade. Second, across the street from the gym, standing on the railroad tracks was the bald-green-loincloth guy formerly of Nikki’s backyard. When he had the attention of Nikki, Amber and Lefty, he bowed his head, and extended out his arms in a welcome greeting. Then he was gone.

Amber began to hyperventilate.


Through a time share presentation, a trip down memory lane where they physically visit the 70’s, to Omphaloskeptic visions, and a very disconcerting game of “Statue” with a pair of bad-guy twins named Arthur and Lancelot, our protagonists follow the clues sung by their protector, Lefty.

Along the way they are faced with a variety of antagonists including a raven who thinks he’s Michael Jackson, Luke the eye-stealing Leprechaun, and Demi Devi Dai, a vegan with gastrointestinal issues. They are led by the sometimes affable, Biy-Em a 7-1/2 foot tall Jamaican with Van Gogh replica artwork tattooed all over his body.

In a studio apartment in Dublin, California, on that same Tuesday afternoon, a 3-foot tall Irish man naps on his small round bed. He’s dreaming of yellow moons, pink hearts, blue diamonds, and orange alerts --- no, wait that’s George Bush’s microcosm. He’s dancing around a pot of gold at the end of a magnificent rainbow. Suddenly, darkness falls, the rainbow is gone, the yellow moon crumbles, the pink hearts break, and the blue diamonds are crushed. A raven lands on the pot of gold and proclaims, “It is time.”

This story is a parody, it’s autobiographical, it’s a little bit fantasy and a lot of pop-culture, (not a little bit country, but definitely some rock and roll.) It’s a window into my imagination, my dreams and my memories.

Nothing is sacred, well, except Oprah. Oprah is sacred, but she earned it. Everything else is fair game.

Are you interested in my microcosm?
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Post Tue Nov 08, 2005 5:58 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
palmer



Joined: 30 Mar 2004
Posts: 1324
Re: AN AGENT WANTS MORE!!!!!!!!!  Reply with quote  

knikkki wrote:
She said, and I quote ... With a query like that, how could I not ask for more? YEAH! I knew it had to be somewhat appealing. So, she asked for the first 50 pages, a bio, and an OUTLINE ...

Does anybody know how to write an outline?

Do you know how good it feels NOT to get a form letter telling me to keep trying? Well, REALLY REALLY good!


You got an agent to ga ga over your query and you want our advice on how to do an outline?

Your query is pretty unorthodox, if one believes the books, but the only thing that's important, ultimately, is, "Does it work?"

The books say that an outline should be about one page per 25 of manuscript, written present tense, and most definitely give away the ending. And it's mostly "Tell, don't show." The agent/publisher wants to know if you can plot. Beyond that, there are lots of books on the format, and they all pretty much agree on the basics. Leaf through a couple at your book store to see a sample or two.

Post Tue Nov 08, 2005 6:23 pm   View user's profile Send private message
Regina



Joined: 02 Mar 2005
Posts: 952
Location: Northeast U.S
 Reply with quote  

Woo Hoo! Go you!

Post Tue Nov 08, 2005 10:14 pm   View user's profile Send private message
Boota



Joined: 09 Apr 2004
Posts: 830
Location: Kokomo, Indiana
 Reply with quote  

Congratulations! Getting someone's attention is the hard part. Now for the harder parts. Smile Good luck! Your book sounds extremely weird. I like extremely weird.
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Post Tue Nov 08, 2005 10:26 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Kate R



Joined: 29 Sep 2005
Posts: 463
 Reply with quote  

It certainly grabbed my attention! Creativity in its prime. Thanks for the peek, and congratulations on breaking into the literary world.

I have to ask though, an eye-stealing leprauchan?

Post Tue Nov 08, 2005 11:26 pm   View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
Tal



Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 1692
Location: Not Massachusetts
 Reply with quote  

AWESOME. Very Happy
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Post Wed Nov 09, 2005 6:32 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
y



Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 3858
 Reply with quote  

Very Happy
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Post Wed Nov 09, 2005 7:25 am   View user's profile Send private message
Taco Bob



Joined: 12 Apr 2004
Posts: 1201
Location: Palm Falls, Florida
 Reply with quote  

Great news! Your query grabs attention right away, which is exactly what you want. You might shorten it a little, but you've obviously got the right idea.

And keep sending the query! Worst that could happen would be offers from more than one agent. A prime example of what I like to refer to as a good problem to have. Wink

Post Wed Nov 09, 2005 5:09 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
philipw



Joined: 21 Nov 2005
Posts: 20
Awesome!  Reply with quote  

Congratulations knikki! Do keep us informed as to what kind of response you get from the manuscript.

Post Fri Dec 02, 2005 8:09 am   View user's profile Send private message
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