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Bad Joke-Athon
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DanSRose



Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 1034
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Bad Joke-Athon  Reply with quote  

Whom ever wins, get a hardy handshake and a pie.
I'll start:

An electron, a proton, and a neutron walked into a bar which had a sign, "All drinks $1.00." The electron said, "Hey guys, we only have $2.00 among the three of us." The proton said, "Don't worry, there's no charge for the neutron." The electron said, "Are you sure?" The proton answered, "I'm positive."
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From a fortune cookie: Only those who attempts the absurd can achieve the impossible.

Adventures!

Post Sun Jan 01, 2006 4:50 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address
Ian Jay



Joined: 28 Dec 2005
Posts: 28
Location: America: Land of Neutron Bombs, Lean Pockets, and Napoleon Dynamite
 Reply with quote  

Okay, okay. Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "You want a beer?" Descartes says, "I think not..." and promptly vanishes.

Get it??

~IJ

PS: I also know what could be considered the worst joke in the world ("The Sploosher"), but I'll refrain from printing it here. People have started to bleed from their ears halfway into it.
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Try Everything Once:
"The Universe is not only queerer than we imagine, but queerer than we can imagine."
~J.B.S. Haldane

Post Mon Jan 02, 2006 1:58 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
sgt_steve



Joined: 18 Jan 2005
Posts: 5197
Location: Michissippi
 Reply with quote  

Two jokes:

#1: Zen master walks up to a hot dog stand and says "Can you make me one with everything?"

#2:

    How many Zen masters does it take to change a lightbulb?
    One.

Post Mon Jan 02, 2006 5:36 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
ken
Site Admin


Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 1324
Location: Boulder, CO
 Reply with quote  

Two guys are walking their dogs. They pass a bar. One of the guys says
"Let's go have a beer. "
"We can't bring our dogs in there," replies the other guy.
"Sure we can." replies the first guy. "Watch this."

He takes out his dark glasses, puts them on, and walking into the bar with his dog pulling him in. The bartender tells him,
"You can't bring an animal in here."
The guy replies "it's my seeing eye dog."
The bartender looks down and sees a german shepherd on a tether and says, "OK, what'll you have?"
"A beer."

The other guy sees this, and decides to try it. He puts on his dark glasses, and lets the dog pull him into the bar. The bartender says again,
"I'm sorry, you can't bring an animal in here."
"But it's my seeing eye dog."
The bartender looks down, and seeing the man has a Chichuahua on the end of a rope.
"You've got a Chichuahua seeing eye dog?" asks the bartender incredulously.
The man exclaims loudly "They gave me a CHICHUAHUA?"

Post Tue Jan 03, 2006 11:43 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website ICQ Number
FattyFattyPorkFace



Joined: 10 Aug 2004
Posts: 6381
Location: Michigan
 Reply with quote  

Three pieces of string go into a bar. The first one goes upto the bar and asks for a beer.

"Are you a piece of string?" asks the barman.

"Yes," says the string.

"We don't serve string in here! Get out!" says the barman, pointing at a sign behind the bar: NO STRING ALLOWED.

The second piece of string asks for a beer and the same thing happens.

Standing alone at the bar, the third piece of string asks for a beer.

"Are you a piece of string?" says the barman.

"No," replies the string, "I'm afraid not."



Get it? Very Happy
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Post Tue Jan 03, 2006 12:03 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Lisa M



Joined: 08 Jul 2004
Posts: 1844
Location: Rhode Island
 Reply with quote  

A blind guy goes into a bar, orders a beer and sits down. "Hey, " he says to the bartender. I have a great blonde joke. Do you want to hear it?"
"Well," says the bartender, "Before you tell that joke you need to know that the fellow on your left is a linebacker for the NFL, and he happens to be blonde. On your right is a professional wrestler, who also happens to be blonde. Further, I am 6'5" and also a blonde. Are you sure you want to tell this joke?"
The blind guy thinks for a second or two and says, "Nah, not if I have to explain it three times."

Post Tue Jan 03, 2006 1:05 pm   View user's profile Send private message
RedOrcaMoon



Joined: 17 Jun 2005
Posts: 2399
Location: someplace...probably inside my head or in another world
 Reply with quote  

whats a blonds cheer?

im blonde, im blonde im b-l-o-ummm.... ah well, im blonde im blonde Yeah yeah yeah!! (thanks goes to dan for that one)

________________________________________________________________



a ghost walks into a bar and the sits down. the barkeeper looks at him and replies, "I'm sorry sir, but we dont server spirits here." (thanks goes to my dads brother.)


_________________________________________________________________


and my all time favorite credit goes to vahlee and Lisa M.

what do you call a cow/ whale that has jsut given birth?

Decalf-in-ated (decaffinated) (told that one at work today an they loved it.)
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Post Wed Jan 04, 2006 1:07 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Lisa M



Joined: 08 Jul 2004
Posts: 1844
Location: Rhode Island
 Reply with quote  

A penquin walks into a bar and orders a beer. After a sip or two he says to the bartender, "Hey, I'm looking for my brother. Have you seen him?"
The bartender replies, "I don't know. What's he look like?"

Post Wed Jan 04, 2006 7:59 am   View user's profile Send private message
Lisa M



Joined: 08 Jul 2004
Posts: 1844
Location: Rhode Island
 Reply with quote  

How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb?










Wanna play some soccer?

Post Wed Jan 11, 2006 6:39 pm   View user's profile Send private message
FattyFattyPorkFace



Joined: 10 Aug 2004
Posts: 6381
Location: Michigan
 Reply with quote  

Why is a giraffe's neck so long?







Because its head is so far away from its body!
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Post Thu Jan 12, 2006 12:24 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
ken
Site Admin


Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 1324
Location: Boulder, CO
 Reply with quote  

What do you call a broken boomerang?

A stick.

Post Thu Jan 12, 2006 9:48 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website ICQ Number
sgt_steve



Joined: 18 Jan 2005
Posts: 5197
Location: Michissippi
 Reply with quote  

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

Post Thu Jan 12, 2006 10:47 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
FattyFattyPorkFace



Joined: 10 Aug 2004
Posts: 6381
Location: Michigan
 Reply with quote  

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.
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Post Thu Jan 12, 2006 10:56 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
zevon



Joined: 14 Oct 2005
Posts: 761
Location: SoCal
 Reply with quote  

Beaver walks in to a tavern and asks "Hey, is the bartender here?"

Post Thu Jan 12, 2006 10:56 am   View user's profile Send private message
Kianu



Joined: 07 Nov 2005
Posts: 1974
Location: Third rock from the sun.
 Reply with quote  

A horse walks into a bar and orders a beer. As the bartender serves him asks, "so, why the long face?"



_________________________________________________________________________
Did you hear about the cat who ate a ball of yarn?
She had mittens.

Post Thu Jan 12, 2006 1:00 pm   View user's profile Send private message
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