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Bad Joke-Athon
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Watching The Wheels



Joined: 22 Dec 2007
Posts: 3412
Location: DC
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A mother and her three daughters are having a conversation and the oldest of the three daughters asks her mother about the origin of her name.

The mother replies, "We didn't come up with the name right away. But as we were leaving the hospital after you were born, a rose pedal came soaring through the breeze, landing softly on your forehead. We assumed it was fate so we named you Rose."

Naturally, the middle child is curious about the origin of her name, so she asks her mother. The mother replies, "Like your sister, as we were leaving the hospital after you were born, a daisy pedal came soaring through the breeze, landing on your forehead. We named you Daisy."

Now the youngest of the three turns to her mother. She makes a series of annoying, spastic sounds with her mouth.

The mother: "Shut up, Cinder Block."
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Post Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:43 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address
zendao42



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 13570
Location: Somewhere in a galaxy near you
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A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop.
Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter.
Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk:
'Dddooo youuuu hhhave dddddiilllldosss?'

The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies:
'Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models.'

'The old woman then asks:
'Dddddoooo yyyouuuu ccaarrryy aaa pppinkk
onnee, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt ttwoo inchesss ththiickk...
aaand rrunns by bbaatteries?'

The clerk responds, 'Yes we do'

She asks:
' Ddddooo yyoooouuuu kknnnoooww hhhowww tttooo ttturrrnnn ttthe
ssunoooffabbitch offffff?'

Post Fri Jun 13, 2008 2:59 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
voodoo_buddha



Joined: 26 Dec 2008
Posts: 23
Location: Home
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Okay, really lame math jokes cuz I'm a nerd.

Biologists think they're biochemists.
Biochemists think they're chemists.
Chemists think they're physical chemists.
Physical Chemists think they're physicists.
Physicists think they're God.
God thinks he is a mathematician.

Three statisticians went rabbit hunting one day. While walking along, they scared a rabbit out of the brush and send him running. The first statistician shot and there was a puff of dust one yard behind the rabbit. The second shot next and there was a puff of dust one yard in front of the rabbit. The third one yelled, "We got it!!"

1. a = b + 1
2. (a-b)a = (a-b)(b+1)
3. a^2 - ab = ab + a - b^2 - b
4. a^2 - ab -a = ab + a -a - b^2 - b
5. a(a - b - 1) = b(a - b - 1)
6. a = b
7. b + 1 = b
8. Therefore, 1 = 0
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