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Books Inc Dirtiest Job Contest

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Lynn



Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Posts: 2295
Location: SF
Books Inc Dirtiest Job Contest  Reply with quote  

I saw that Books Inc was running a Dirtiest Job Essay contest to promote the signings and the book. I immediately thought of the SoKD&S and had to enter. This isn't my best stuff, but I was hoping some other people might be convinced to enter and post their entries . . .


The SoKD&S

by Lynn Dalsing

My parents are antique dealers. So naturally before my first “real job,” I made some cash trying my hand at the family business. Sounds okay, right? A little fucking kooky, but okay. Wrong.

What you don’t know about is the Shed of Kitten Death and Spiders (or the SoKD&S).

My family stored most of what I bought in the SoKD&S because most of what I bought was total shit. It was dirty and bug-filled, and no one wanted it in the house. You wouldn’t want this stuff. I didn’t want it. But there was someone out there who did, probably from San Francisco. Going into that shed to get my shit to price out was terrifying.

The SoKD&S was the downfall of three, yes three, of my tiny feline pets. They would sneak in, and something would fall on them or they’d eat some sort of pesticide. But there’s only so much an unexpectedly dead cat can do to you, and that mainly includes rigor mortising at you and rotting menacingly.

The real problem with the SoKD&S was the spiders. They were really fucking big. There were some unexplained kitten disappearances which I blame on the spiders. Between me and my tacky ‘60s barware was an army of spiders with legs longer than mine.

I’ve since gone on to waiting tables, then office jobs. Employers seem to like me because, let’s face it, after the SoKD&S, there’s very little I’m not prepared to do for cash.
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Lynn, Reading Kafka in a hospital is generally redundant. Better just to wander the halls randomly opening doors.
--Ginjg

Post Mon Mar 27, 2006 9:05 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
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