Christopher Moore Home Page

The bulletin board is currently closed to new posts. Instead, why not check out Chris' Twitter and Facebook pages?


bbs.chrismoore.com Forum Index -> Blog Comments

Fish Story
Goto page 1, 2, 3  Next
  Author    Thread This forum is locked: you cannot post, reply to, or edit topics. This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.
Sara Leigh



Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 7385
Location: Virginia
Fish Story  Reply with quote  

Gee, CM. You should have asked the concierge (it's the title the hotel desk people get that makes them act so French) to ship that little fish to me for my pond. He would have been so happy there. He could have become a Big Fish.

A fish by the door. I'm not sure what the purpose is. Maybe they read that people are happier if they have a pet companion when they're all alone in a hotel. Fish just don't cut it though. You can't put a fish on your lap and pet it. You can't play with it. You just look at it. You just can't bond with a fish overnight.

Post Sat Jul 03, 2004 8:30 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger
Elliot



Joined: 30 Mar 2004
Posts: 1676
Location: Seattle
 Reply with quote  

Well you could do all those things with a fish but the Idea that the same fish will be there tommorrow night is nigh impossible.

L
_________________


My Twitter is twittering!

Post Sat Jul 03, 2004 8:42 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Sara Leigh



Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 7385
Location: Virginia
 Reply with quote  

Sure, you could do those things with the fish, but it's highly likely the same fish wouldn't be there the next night because it would be DEAD. Also, how do you know whether it's the same fish anyway? Goldfish all look pretty much alike. I know there are different colors, but I'm guessing they just use the gold ones.

Post Sat Jul 03, 2004 8:48 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger
Elliot



Joined: 30 Mar 2004
Posts: 1676
Location: Seattle
 Reply with quote  

Well you'd know it would be a different fish if you flush it.

L
_________________


My Twitter is twittering!

Post Sat Jul 03, 2004 9:25 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Sara Leigh



Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 7385
Location: Virginia
 Reply with quote  

True. But that's just so, you know, cold. The fish outside the door idea is bad. It's psychologically damaging instead of comforting. They ought to include a note that tells you why it's there, dammit!

Post Sat Jul 03, 2004 9:33 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger
Elliot



Joined: 30 Mar 2004
Posts: 1676
Location: Seattle
 Reply with quote  

I find it freeing. Swim away fishy! Swim away!

L
_________________


My Twitter is twittering!

Post Sat Jul 03, 2004 9:44 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Sara Leigh



Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 7385
Location: Virginia
 Reply with quote  

Sounds like the makings of a bad made-for-TV horror movie about a monster fish in the sewers.

Post Sat Jul 03, 2004 10:00 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger
Elliot



Joined: 30 Mar 2004
Posts: 1676
Location: Seattle
 Reply with quote  

We could call it Sewer Pirahna with a special appearence by The Sewer Urchin from, THE TICK!

L
_________________


My Twitter is twittering!

Post Sat Jul 03, 2004 10:10 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Hillary



Joined: 13 Apr 2004
Posts: 1767
Just thinking . . .  Reply with quote  

What would happen if the ending of CM's goldfish story was written by:

Hemingway . . . You'd catch the goldfish years later on a fishing excursion. It'd be the biggest goldfish ever, you'd be happy, and then he'd get away. You'd be suicidally depressed and kill yourself.

Stephen King . . . The fish died. You wake up one morning, and find wet fin prints on your floor. The prints lead up to your bed. Family members start disappearing, and visions of goldfish with butcher knives plague your nightmares.

Steinbeck . . . The fish would be your cousin. You befriend him only to discover he's damaged in the cranium. Eventually you'd have to kill him.

Neil Gaiman . . . The fish is the god of all fish. He was trying to relay a warning of impending doom. But now he's gone, leaving in his wake a cryptic message of mystical proportions. Eventually, you bring about the fall of mankind, but manage to reverse it in the end by bargaining with the very same fish god.

Tolkein . . . The fish would be the only one who could carry a great burden. He was outside your door because a wizard decided you should be one of the fish's guardians. You would pick up the fish and drag thim through the streets of Chicago to meet up with the rest of your party. Orcs would poke you with sticks.

Laurell K Hamilton . . . You can never get fish guts out from underneath your fingernails. It's as tenacious as blood. I had to scrub in scalding water for over an hour to get rid of the stink. I suppose that's what I get for working with the monsters.

F. Scott Fitzgerald . . . The fish was the premier fish. He'd have more power, more money, more gilded fins than any other fish. You watched him fall in love with another fish's dame. Hopeless love. In the end, the fish's own radiance killed him, and he ended up face down in a pool somewhere. Or in this instance, belly up. It filled you with sadness, but why, you can't say.

You know, I could go on an on. I'm amusing the hell out of myself. I'm probably the only one, though, so I'll stop.

All of you . . . as you were!

Post Sat Jul 03, 2004 10:16 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Sara Leigh



Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 7385
Location: Virginia
Don't stop!  Reply with quote  

That was great, Hillary. Got more?

Post Sat Jul 03, 2004 10:38 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger
Hillary



Joined: 13 Apr 2004
Posts: 1767
Yeah . . .  Reply with quote  

Sure. Why not?

Edgar Allen Poe . . . You murdered the fish. You hole him up in the walls of your hotel room. As you sleep, you hear a heartbeat. It grows louder. You laugh maniacally as you proclaim to the heavens your dastardly deed. You rip the false wall apart and show the dilapidated corpse to all. You are mad, Mad, MAD!

Nicholas Sparks . . . You meet the fish and fall instantly in love. He's shy but endearing. Awkward yet graceful. You marry and have the romance of a lifetime. Years later, the fish dies - a lingering, soulful death that is suppose to make everyone around you cry. It works.

More later . . .

Post Sat Jul 03, 2004 10:51 am   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Sara Leigh



Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 7385
Location: Virginia
 Reply with quote  

Laughing Laughing Laughing

Post Sat Jul 03, 2004 11:08 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger
Elliot



Joined: 30 Mar 2004
Posts: 1676
Location: Seattle
 Reply with quote  

Palahniuk . . . You are infactuated with the fish so you feed it female hormones and confess your love for it only to find out that it was your mothers pet fish who eventually became your father.

L
_________________


My Twitter is twittering!

Post Sat Jul 03, 2004 11:20 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
chris
Site Admin


Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 3833
Location: People Republic of Northern California
 Reply with quote  

Excellent endings HiLL, L. I'm so proud of you. It would have been so much better if they'd left you guys in bowl outside my door. You know, except for the suffocation and lack of personal space and stuff...


Nevermind.

Post Sat Jul 03, 2004 1:25 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Hillary



Joined: 13 Apr 2004
Posts: 1767
 Reply with quote  

*swoons*

My favorite author just told me he wants to keep me in a fishbowl outside of his hotel room.

OOOH. HE'S SO DREAMY.

Wink

*****

Dan Brown . . . the fish is actually a cryptogram. You twist the head, the torso, and the tail fins for about an hour to find the correct sequence. When the fish opens up, you discover a document made by Da Vinci that suggests Jesus liked the boy holding his hand to his left at the Last Supper.


Jane Austin . . . It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man possesed of such fine form - as is the case of the very handsome Mister Christopher Moore - must be in want of a wife. He had a pleasant, lopsided smile and a jaunty step, two qualities that set my tiny, goldfish heart a-flutter. I knew ours would be a most satisfying acquaintance, and I set my hat to wooing the sir, who was a sworn bachelor in dire need of my attentions.


Last edited by Hillary on Mon Jul 05, 2004 12:04 pm; edited 1 time in total

Post Sat Jul 03, 2004 11:57 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
  Display posts from previous:      
This forum is locked: you cannot post, reply to, or edit topics. This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.

Jump to:  
Goto page 1, 2, 3  Next

Last Thread | Next Thread  >

Forum Rules:
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

 
Templates created by Vereor and Ken