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I am such a witch or I have the neighbor from hell!
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Which is the correct statement?
Lib is a witch and she probably eats small rodents.
16%
 16%  [ 2 ]
The neighbor is demented and needs a kick in the butt.
66%
 66%  [ 8 ]
The groundhog loves to cause neighborhood wars
16%
 16%  [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 12

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Lib



Joined: 16 Apr 2004
Posts: 3423
I am such a witch or I have the neighbor from hell!  Reply with quote  

Knock, knock on my door last night. Open door, neighbor there. Neighbor says, "Do you know anything about a cage" back on the easement behind you?" I replied that I did, as I was trying to catch a groundhog. I explained that about a week ago, I was sitting out in my backyard and a groundhog showed up. They can be aggressive when cornered, so I borrowed a "live" trap to catch him/her (I would then have a friend with a truck take this creature out in the country and let it go). She replys that she thinks that's cruel as it's been so hot and it might die and what if I catch a cat? I told her that I check it in the morning twice before I go to work, I come home at lunch and check it and I check it two to three times in the evening. She still thinks I'm one of Satan's demons. I finally said that I didn't have time to continue the discussion as I was leaving and that I was still going to try to trap it.
I go to dinner with friends (we demons like to hang together). When I'm coming down the street half a block from home, I see a truck starting to pull out of my drive. It's the animal control people. She had called them and complained! The guy said someone had called about it and was concerned that the animal could be left in the cage. I told him the same thing I told that "neighbor" (I can resist calling her something else - such willpower). He said that was fine and that he was sorry but that he had to check it out. I told him that I understood and that I realized that they have to follow up on all calls. Gosh, guys, I could have been on one those shows on Aminal Planet about cruel and abusive pet owners. Cool
Okay, by this time I'm shaking I'm so angry. I wanted to go over and ring her chimes! This neighbor has gotten into it with everyone that has lived near her. Lucky me!
I wonder if she'd like some stew (I might have some meat by the weekend)? Twisted Evil
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Post Thu Jul 22, 2004 12:52 pm   View user's profile Send private message
Lauren



Joined: 07 Mar 2004
Posts: 1582
Location: Massachusetts
neighbor from hell!  Reply with quote  

The "Lib is a witch" option made me giggle, but I think your neighbor is just being a pain in the ass. Is this neighbor home during the day, when you're not? If she's so concerned, she could come over and check the cage.
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Well, I guess you left me with some feathers in my hand.

Post Thu Jul 22, 2004 1:24 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address ICQ Number
Miss Betty



Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 359
Location: Outskirts of Da 'Burgh
 Reply with quote  

Lib--

I'll trade neighbours!!! A few summers ago - I was quietly washing MY car in MY driveway when up roll the cops. The neighbour called them & filed a complaint against me for indecent exposure. (I was in a one piece swimsuit.) He calls the police on me for EVERYTHING!!!

The one across the street comes over & actually writes down the license plate numbers & checks inspection stickers - then calls them all into the police. I got into a big argument with him over it all - he now tells people I'm "demon spawn."

We'e contemplated sewing white hospital sheets together & making a large bulls-eye (like they did in M.A.S.H.) & putting it on his house.

Oh - the list goes on...
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Post Thu Jul 22, 2004 2:09 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
Katie



Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Posts: 961
Location: What day is it today?
 Reply with quote  

Hell next time you can call those animal control people. You know...the companies that charge you for each animal that they trap and kill (I think they gas them). They don't tell you that those 5 animals they "took care of" were collared cats. You could do that and be a real witch. Or maybe you should sit on you back porch with a shotgun taking potshots at any animal bigger than a rat that comes into your yard. That might be fun. A demon you are not. You wouldn't spend the money on those traps if you were. You would just lay out some arsenic.
*^_^*
Katie

Post Thu Jul 22, 2004 2:56 pm   View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
Kurt
Guest




Did they clone Gladys Cravitz?  Reply with quote  

"Neighbor" is just someone who is annoying that lives near you. If ever someone says something about being neighborly ... I'll say this "neighborhood" has enough assholes already ...

Do they have undisciplined children, too? You know, you every move is scrutinized, record and reported ... their own spawn, unleashed rabid Cujos on two legs.

I don't know how my next door neighbor is so tall without a spine, though others question who the father of "his" two sewage-processing-units really is (in other words he lacks the "nads" for gamete donation). By the way, that sums of the potential of the family ... only good for turning food into "sewage" and little else.

The retired navy guy with the young wife, residing across the street is looking to unseat him as the clueless and ineffectual father of teenage-boys-running-amok.


So Lib, are you dealing in the flesh-peddling of woodchucks? Good luck, it's a growing business.

Post Thu Jul 22, 2004 3:19 pm   
Sara Leigh



Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 7385
Location: Virginia
the demon neighbor  Reply with quote  

We had only been in our house for a couple of days. David and I were both at work and a friend who had helped us move was listening to the stereo. Neighbor from across the street marches over to deliver this message: "Ve must kip the neighborhood qviet!" So he immediately turned the stereo down. When we came home and found out, we had him turn it on like he had it. We went out on the public sidewalk, not the sidewalk to our house. Couldn't hear a thing. The woman must have had mutant hearing. For the longest time, we thought she was a fugitive Nazi (even though she wasn't that old). Then we found out she was a Finn. We still called her the nazi. Absolutely nobody in the neighborhood could stand her. She found something nasty to say to everyone. Hated everybody's pets and children. Had the nerve to spank a neighbor child who had the nerve to pick one of her precious flowers. I watched her carry a small dog (we have strictly enforced leash laws) around the corner holding him by the scruff of his neck and the skin on his butt. What a BITCH! She moved away a couple of years ago. She and her husband, Dick, better know as Dickhead and Hilka the nazi.

I feel much better. Ranting about the evil demon neighbor really cleanses your system.

Post Thu Jul 22, 2004 3:28 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger
Lara-
Guest




What a nosy bitch she is!  Reply with quote  

Your neighbor is a nosy bitch! I am sorry, but it's true. Here you are being humane and she's gotta ride your ass... give me a break. She should have volunteered to help you out, keep an eye on the cage once in a while if she was worried.

Of course, I am the woman who called the SPCA on her own neighbor but that was because there was a dog with a broken leg left unnattended for two months...

Post Thu Jul 22, 2004 3:59 pm   
i8tokyo



Joined: 30 Mar 2004
Posts: 1357
Location: Kansas City
 Reply with quote  

When I was growing up, my next door neighbor(who was four years older than me) raised rabbits in his backyard. He kept them in a hutch and checked them daily(I thought that was really cool). His neighbor (the other side) always gave him shit about how cruel it was to lock the rabbits up and told him they should be set free. One day she made up some foul shit and reported the kid to the SPCA for mis-treatment or something. To get even with her, he staged (for her benefit) a setting free ceremony of the rabbits. After making sure she was watching, he started clubbing stuffed easter bunnies with a baseball bat. He was screaming at the top of his lungs while faking a assault of Pearl Harbor magnatude. After a couple of minutes he gathered up the stuffed bunnies and went inside. A few minutes later, the police showed up. Inspected the backyard, talked to the kids parents and went on their way. The lady never said anything to any of the kids in the neighborhood again. The kid grew up and became a police officer, and is reminded each time I see him over the hoildays to be nice to bunnies.
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Post Thu Jul 22, 2004 5:57 pm   View user's profile Send private message
earthshoes



Joined: 17 Jun 2004
Posts: 213
Location: SW Missouri
 Reply with quote  

Nahh . . . You aren't being a witch, but your neighbor sounds like an animal rights activist.

If you need to do this again, circumvent the situation by taking the contols away from your neighbor. Call animal control and let them know what you're up to. Invite them to come inspect your trap if they want! Or you can offer to let your neighbor help you watch it for you. 'Sounds like she doesn't have enough to do anyway. She gets the illusion of getting a say in the situation and you can live in peace and groundhog free.
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Post Thu Jul 22, 2004 6:45 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
Think insane.



Joined: 26 Apr 2004
Posts: 1577
Location: Night's Plutonian shore
 Reply with quote  

Iím the one that voted you a witch, although it's nothing personal. I just figured that maybe if I made you a witch, you could use your newfound powers to do something truly heinous to the busybody next door. You know, if you wanted too. No pressure or anything.
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Post Thu Jul 22, 2004 7:24 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Jo



Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Posts: 2742
Location: Near here, on Tuesdays, but just on the days that end with nth. Like 3nth.
 Reply with quote  

Come to my neighborhood Lib!

We live in the country and "summerhogs" (as my son named them at 5 years old) are 'aplenty. Most on our property are far far in the back and don't bother us but, one moved in right next to our neighbors house. It dug several holes in the yard and that was hazardous to the lady with a walker... so the chase began. Laughing First, they knew I had cats and came one day and asked if I would care to donate used kitty litter to the cause. I said sure and happily supplied them with weeks and weeks of the wonderful stuff.
(they thought that pouring this down the summerhog holes would cause the critter to move.) Hell, I even entertained the thought of selling the shit for a while... Wink

Summerhogs are smart. Don't let anyone tell you they aren't. When that 'fix' didn't fix the problem.. I witnessed yet another funny... mind you, these are seasoned farmers and one day, I watched them park a truck near one of the holes... attach a tube to the exaust and then pipe in diesel truck exaust into the hole to flush the varment out. This critter had several holes. Needless to say, critter - 10, Farmers - zilch.

I found a dead summerhog in my yard last week.. no lie.. he had grey hair and had a grin (sh** eaten too) on his furface... and I do believe this was the infamous survivor and winner of a many a year long battle.

Your neighbor wouldn't survive out here in farm country.. not for a New York minute!

Jo Laughing
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Post Thu Jul 22, 2004 8:11 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Miss Betty



Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 359
Location: Outskirts of Da 'Burgh
 Reply with quote  

Wait -- Oh Oh pick me!!! Pick me!!! Very Happy

You're trying to catcha groundhog & move it?!?!? Embarassed

I got into BIG trouble at my old place b/c I was feeding the groundhogs. I would make up an extra bag of popcorn everynight & go sit on the porch in the afternoon the following day & "spreed the love" so to speak. 'Course then the landload caught me & payed my ex to shoot the poor innocents with his bow, much to the amusement of the other neighbours. Evil or Very Mad (This process was usually done w/ me yelling Mad at him to not hurt them & the other guys pouring extra shots of Goldshaluger to toast each missed shot...) Shocked

Did I mention I'm in the OUTSKIRTS of Pittsburgh?!?!?! Shocked 'Round here if it moves after dark - they think it's a form of Fine Dining. Rolling Eyes " Shoot it quick for the buddy down the road sees 'em - dang good BBQ." (Insert the theme from Deliverance here.)
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Post Thu Jul 22, 2004 9:05 pm   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
Lara



Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Posts: 2061
Location: NorCal, USA
 Reply with quote  

earthshoes wrote:
Nahh . . . You aren't being a witch, but your neighbor sounds like an animal rights activist.


Sweetie, earthshoes... I am an animal rights activist. Not only that, I host an animal rights radio show. And I think her neighbor is a nosy busybody who did not hear Lib explain the situation. I've called the SPCA once, for an abused dog who now lives with me (this was at the request of the SPCA). I COMPLETELY respect Lib's desire to live capture the groundhog and set it free (even if it means she won't know when summer is coming). I think LIB ROCKS and if she's a witch, I totally respect that, too, because I have been known to cast my own binding spell once in a while. Witches rule.

We need more live capture cages, here in Oroville. People are poisoning the feral cats by the river (and unfortunately, the dogs and cats who have loving homes) and the SPCA is going crazy! They aren't allowed to provide the cages anymore since the funding for spay/neuter bottomed out (it was funded by the will of an old woman who wanted the cats to be safe).

Anyhow, I must say... me? Defensive? Pshaw!

By the way, I love your avatar. You love your dog, that is apparent. I have to tell you that human rights and animal rights are linked. But I am a bit of a busybody, myself. I respect the neighbor questioning the cage, but I do not respect the neighbor ignoring Lib's response. I do respect the animal control people responding to the call, and I do respect Lib's response. By the way, earthshoes, your advice was very, very good, IMHO.

Lib, you are cool and you have an open invitation to my coven's solstice gatherings.
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Post Thu Jul 22, 2004 9:47 pm   View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Lib



Joined: 16 Apr 2004
Posts: 3423
I'm so touched...  Reply with quote  

Quote:
Think posted: Iím the one that voted you a witch, although it's nothing personal.

Quote:
Lara posted: I think LIB ROCKS and if she's a witch, I totally respect that, too, because I have been known to cast my own binding spell once in a while. Witches rule.


I'm so glad Think that you voted me a witch (along with a few others). I was hoping someone would vote that way! Witches are powerful...hmm, what can I do??? Lara maybe you can give me pointers? ***Rubbing hands and cackling***

Quote:
Posted by Miss Betty: 'Round here if it moves after dark - they think it's a form of Fine Dining.

Heck, Miss Betty, us Kentuckians think that there is buffet dining. I mentioned stew didn't I? I could make it out of ground Chuck. Hmm, hmm good...

After reading some of the stories from you guys about your neighbors, maybe I'm lucky after all. Nah...think I'll go get a sheet with a bullseye.
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Book: A garden carried in a pocket. Arabian Proverb

Post Fri Jul 23, 2004 6:28 am   View user's profile Send private message
Tal



Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 1692
Location: Not Massachusetts
 Reply with quote  

According to one of my neighbors I'm a vicious brute because I "allowed" my cat to kill a fully grown adult rabbit. Here is the "hideous beastie" as the same neighbor referred to him:



I think my problem was that I told the neighbor that I was torn between saying "bad kitty" and "good job dude thats double tough!". I gotta say that I'm not upset in the least at what the Mighty Hunterô did to the rabbit.

Another neighbor chastised me viciously two summers ago during the drought for using the hose outside to clean out the cats' litter box. As it happens one of the little buggers developed a nasty case of explosive squirts and the box was starting to REALLY smell. In the midst of her tirade I stopped my neighbor short and stated calmly that using water to clean was within the drought restrictions and that I wasn't going to be using my bathtub to clean it out with grey water (water from heating up the shower/bath) but if she wanted to volunteer her bathtub I would of course be happy to accept. Her mouth snapped shut with an audible snap and I went back to hosing and scrubbing out the messy litter box. Smile
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Post Fri Jul 23, 2004 7:46 am   View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
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